7 Simple Steps to Implode Your Shit Job, Empty Relationship & Parent’s Hopes for Your Future

7 Simple Steps to Implode Your Shit Job, Empty Relationship & Parent’s Hopes for Your Future

TLDR: This 40 minute post runs you through how I went from broken and severely depressed, to traveling full time using Instagram to build and sell a 6-figure business. 

It share’s my most stripped back, easy to implement, A-Z strategy for building a massive Instagram audience and actually making cash! 

 If you finish this uneducated, you’re welcome to return to your shitty life, but unfortunately not your original age. To compensate for this, I hope I’ve pulled together something that will interest and amuse you (providing you don’t take yourself too seriously).

Soooo…. If your life appears to be lacking some immediate promise, and you’d like to change that, perhaps you should stop your excuses, pull up your sleeves, and throw everything you have into this.

Then maybe…. just maybe…… you too will wake up one morning realizing you’re living the life you use to waste your time being jealous of.

 

 

When it comes to finding your success, it’s first important to check that you’re actually sure that the success you seek, will actually turn into happiness.

Answer me this;

 

What does your life look like when you’re truly happy?

 

Duh, I’m a big baller millionaire!

I have a sweet Hollywood Hills mansion. I drive a Lambo, sip margaritas in the sun on Bora Bora island, and on the weekend I pop bottles in the Bellagio, caked in Gucci clad models.

Living. The. Dream.

But are you sure it’s your dream…?

 

The harsh reality is that you’re unlikely to have the cash to just buy all of these things on a whim, so it’s worth thinking about not only what you’d spend those millions on, but also the time it would take to make those dolla dolla bills.

Are you sure the years “invested” will give this magical happiness payoff you’ve become so convinced of?

Would that $6M mansion be in a location you adore, near to people you love? Or an enormous storage locker, waiting to be filled with soulless items that you were convinced would make you much happier than they actually did (think back to your revolutionary new iPhone?)

Would that expensive garage-filler that you enjoy driving once per year on your coastal road trip really fill you with joy the remaining 345 days of the year? Or be an driven at 23 mph in order to avoid sneaky speed bumps that may disembowel it?

And the vapid, cash-obsessed models? I can guarantee that after a handful of hook-ups, you’ll quickly see these encounters are far more pleasurable to contemplate than to consummate.  

So, is there a shortcut to reveal just how wrong your goals really are?

 

The real revelation here is that you can get all of this shit out of the way now.

You don’t need to be a millionaire to see that running down a marble staircase each morning, driving a V12 powered overcompensation machine and listening to one more fucking story about “Daddy’s wonderful yacht in Monaco”, are the complete opposite of where you should be searching for happiness and fulfillment.

If you make a decent four figures each month, you can live like an absolute king almost anywhere in the world, as well as sprinkling in “baller tests” of the above experiences to demonstrate just how little lasting happiness they will bestow upon you.

So, this isn’t necessarily a post about becoming a millionaire, solving the energy crisis or becoming a New York Times bestselling author, unless that’s your thing. Hell, your calling could be to become a xylophone prodigy, or to master whittling the ultimate utensil.

No, this post is about constructing a lifestyle that not only allows you to discover what your calling may be, but to also realize that lifestyle, like now, and not when your schedule is booked full of post-meal naps, unannounced gas, and tales of “the good ol days”.

Yaay…

 

 To find your passion, your calling, what you aim to master and contribute, you first need freedom.

Freedom to work when, where, on what, and for as long as you want.

This post is about constructing the situation where you can show up every damn day filled with raging lightning, shooting laser beams from your eyes and shitting rainbows. It’s about becoming the best, most amazing version of yourself, whatever that may be to you.

“Where can I get these laser beam eyes?!?”

Well, they can be installed by making one simple change.

Let me illustrate; I often ask people the following:

“In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

To which they regale me with elaborate escapades and amazing adventures that their future selves, shall never lead.

My response is swift:

“Well, you clearly don’t really want these experiences your future self is so delighted by, as your current self it sitting here, pathetically doing ZERO to realize those delights.

What needs to change? Finding a lump? Your child dying?? Sleeping with strangers for meth money???”

As you can likely guess, this makes me quite popular at parties.

Yes I know, it’s blunt, but the fact is that almost everyone gives me some variation on:

“I just don’t have enough money, I have work and family commitments, oh and the time, there’s just no way I’d have time to do this, so who the hell invited you to my party anyway?”

Interestingly, in addition to dodging hurled daiquiris, and excluding myself from every social circle to which I’ve previously belonged, I’ve yet to hear anyone say that what they want is actually impossible.

Our world is so connected that we can’t escape the sight of a not insignificant amount of people that are in fact doing the impossible, living life on their own terms.

This fact should make it clear to you;

There’s but one simple change separating you from all the people living your wildest dreams:

 

They stop being such a whiny, little, bitch-ass.

 

That’s right, they decided to grab life by the balls, take charge, and change their lives. You, on the other hand, are still sat on your sofa, devouring cheese dip and jacking off to the thought of Danika on daddy’s Monaco yacht.

The only thing standing in your way is fear. You know it can be done, that there are plenty of hours in your day that aren’t contributing to the greatest, most badass version of yourself.

You’re just scared. Scared of committing to be better. Scared of failure. Scared of your egomaniacal, serpent-tongued mother-in-law’s smug, snide Sunday lunch comments of

“Ewhhh Finneus*…. how’s that business thing going…?”,

“Yes yes alright Susan, it’s a work in progress, politely fuck off already”.

 

*for the full effect, replace “Finneus” with your own name

Now, as scary as avoiding petrification via looking directly into Susan’s eyes seems, it’s NOWHERE NEAR as diabolical as spending years with all thoughts of your future, creativity, and happiness crushed under the sheer weight of existing in a life you somehow convinced yourself that you wanted.

Trust me.

Make the decision by choice.

Listen to the kind chancellor

 

It’s much more pleasant, and I can also promise this; greatness, fulfillment, everything you ever wanted DOES lie on the other side of that fear.

So, let’s direct my question at you. Let’s experience the world as it isn’t and has never been, but as it might be. Let’s escape today as your mind silently transports you into tomorrow…

 

“In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

 

Maybe it was something like this?

  • How about living in a beachfront penthouse in Croatia, moonlight skinny dipping with a national team pole vaulter and screaming insanities from the tower of a medieval castle on a mountaintop in the middle of a lightning storm?

  • Perhaps spelunking through the caves underneath Budapest, realizing you might “have a thing” for being smushed into tight spaces. Maybe raving in an insane thermal bath party or yachting on Hungary’s largest lake?
  • More adrenaline? How about an epic 8-day motorbike trip around the untamed north of Vietnam. Sunkissed hidden valleys, ferocious limestone mountains lined with rice paddies and somehow managing to drive your bike off a cliff.
  • Training with muay thai fighters in Thailand? Partying at the ladyboy cabaret? Diving on the most pristine reefs in the world?.. Or perhaps getting krazy krunk and making mistakes at the full-moon party?
  • Perhaps you’re looking for love? Party with the most beautiful people on the planet in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Eat the best steak. Drink the best malbec. Learn to tango... Fail to learn Spanish because you’re too distracted by the previously mentioned beautiful people.
  • Adventure in the wilds of Peru? Rip through the desert on a dune buggy to the hidden oasis town of Huacachina. Maybe spend 5 days hiking through the Andes mountains, mountain biking at 4,100m, relaxing in thermal springs and squeezing four soaking wet, fully grown men into a two-person tent, all on the way to the ancient wonder of Machu Picchu.
  • More intense? How about paintballing at Pablo Escobar’s holiday home in Colombia? Getting lost in the jungle in a thunderstorm? Repelling down a waterfall? Or staying in a floating Caribbean villa while taking romantic midnight swims in a lagoon lit up with glowing plankton?
  • Maybe you’d like some history, taking a hot air balloon the ancient temple of Teotihuacan in Mexico? Summiting a 4,700ft volcano? Training with professional luchadors in the arena? Or diving through collapsed cave cenotes on the coast?
  •  Perhaps traveling back in time? Smoke Cohiba cigars, drink mojitos in weird art gallery-night club crossovers, and race around in 1950s chevies in Havana.
  • Nature fix? Road trip from Arizona to Canada. Hike and camp in Sedona, the Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, Zion, the volcanic Crater Lake, the Giant Sequoias and Redwoods, Olympic rainforest and Banff National Park. Visit Vegas, Phoenix, San Diego, LA, San Fran, Seattle, and Vancouver.
  •  More magic? Take a midnight hike up Ijen, Java’s blue fire volcano. Take a motorbike to Bali through the mountains and towering hidden waterfalls. Fly across the sea floor with enormous manta rays.

That’s honestly a valiant effort by myself to pick just a few of the highlights from my last 18 months.

So, all of those insane experiences and more, 16 countries, all of those flights, all of the penthouses, and apartments, and exotic food, and parties, and insanity. How much do you think it all cost?

Those are a fraction of the awesome things I’ve done in the last 18 months, and it cost me:

 

Roughly $3,000 total spend per month.

 

Much less than it cost me to live in my tiny apartment in London, a city which is nice for roughly 6 weeks a year, and contains approximately zero adventure.

And if now you’re thinking “Oh Connor you’re very amusing, but I don’t have $3,000 spare”.

Know this… neither did I!

The first 12 months of my adventures and fun I made that money as I went along, and I was living like royalty. I’ve seen some of the most amazing sites in the world, immersed myself in a myriad of interesting cultures, eaten more weird foods than I can count, met hundreds of amazing people, partied my ass off.

All of this, for less money than most people make in a job they despise, living in a city they have no time to enjoy, dining on bland burgers and filling what remains of their day trying to figure out if Steven fucking Avery actually murdered that girl or not.

It’s not about the money, it’s about the freedom.

 

If you can work from wherever you want, whenever you want, on whatever you want, you’ll be surprised at just how many amazing things you can do without being a big baller millionaire, trust fund baby, or crying into a mountain of cocaine about how Danika dumped you for some arsehole with an even more overcompensatory car than you.

 

“You have my attention….. So how do I get all of these freedoms you keep banging on about?”

Why Finneus, I’m so glad you asked…

Remember my not-so dream job? That was with an Instagram software company. Whilst there I learned techniques and hacks for rapidly growing an Instagram account. When we parted ways, I started a fitness business called Transform Fitspo (I do not have a fitness or nutrition certificate of any sort), here’s how it did:

TLDR: This 40 minute post runs you through how I went from broken and severely depressed, to traveling full time using Instagram to build and sell a 6-figure business. 

It share’s my most stripped back, easy to implement, A-Z strategy for building a massive Instagram audience and actually making cash!

 If you finish this uneducated, you’re welcome to return to your shitty life, but unfortunately not your original age. To compensate for this, I hope I’ve pulled together something that will interest and amuse you (providing you don’t take yourself too seriously).

Soooo…. If your life appears to be lacking some immediate promise, and you’d like to change that, perhaps you should stop your excuses, pull up your sleeves, and throw everything you have into this.

Then maybe…. just maybe…… you too will wake up one morning realizing you’re living the life you use to waste your time being jealous of.

 

When it comes to finding your success, it’s first important to check that you’re actually sure that the success you seek, will actually turn into happiness.

Answer me this;

 

What does your life look like when you’re truly happy?

 

Duh, I’m a big baller millionaire!

I have a sweet Hollywood Hills mansion. I drive a Lambo, sip margaritas in the sun on Bora Bora island, and on the weekend I pop bottles in the Bellagio, caked in Gucci clad models.

Living. The. Dream.

But are you sure it’s your dream…?

 

 

The harsh reality is that you’re unlikely to have the cash to just buy all of these things on a whim, so it’s worth thinking about not only what you’d spend those millions on, but also the time it would take to make those dolla dolla bills.

Are you sure that your years “invested” will give this magical happiness payoff you’ve become so convinced of?

Would that $6M mansion be in a location you adore, near to people you love? Or an enormous storage locker, waiting to be filled with soulless items that you were convinced would make you much happier than they actually did (think back to your revolutionary new iPhone?).

Would that expensive garage-filler that you enjoy driving once per year on your coastal road trip really fill you with joy the remaining 345 days of the year?  Or be an driven at 23 mph in order to avoid sneaky speed bumps that may disembowel it?

And the vapid, cash-obsessed models? I can guarantee that after a handful of hook-ups, you’ll quickly see these encounters are far more pleasurable to contemplate than to consummate.  

So, is there a shortcut to reveal just how wrong your goals really are?

 

The real revelation here is that you can get all of this shit out of the way now.

You don’t need to be a millionaire to see that running down a marble staircase each morning, driving a V12 powered overcompensation machine and listening to one more fucking story about “Daddy’s wonderful yacht in Monaco”, are the complete opposite of where you should be searching for happiness and fulfillment.

If you make a decent four figures each month, you can live like an absolute king almost anywhere in the world, as well as sprinkling in tests of the above experiences to demonstrate just how little lasting happiness they will bestow upon you.

So, this isn’t necessarily a post about becoming a millionaire, solving the energy crisis or becoming a New York Times bestselling author, unless that’s your thing. Hell, your calling could be to become a xylophone prodigy, or to master whittling the ultimate utensil.

No, this post is about constructing a lifestyle that not only allows you to discover what your calling may be, but to also realize that lifestyle, like now, and not when your schedule is booked full of post-meal naps, unannounced gas, and tales of “the good ol days”.

Yaay…

To find your passion, your calling, what you aim to master and contribute, you first need freedom.

Freedom to work when, where, on what, and for as long as you want.

This post is about constructing the situation where you can show up every damn day filled with raging lightning, shooting laser beams from your eyes and shitting rainbows. It’s about becoming the best, most amazing version of yourself, whatever that may be to you.

“Where can I get these laser beam eyes?!?”

Well, they can be installed by making one simple change.

Let me illustrate; I often ask people the following:

“In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

To which they regale me with elaborate escapades and amazing adventures that their future selves, shall never lead.

My response is swift:

“Well, you clearly don’t really want these experiences your future self is so delighted by, as your current self it sitting here, pathetically doing ZERO to realize those delights.

What needs to change? Finding a lump? Your child dying?? Sleeping with strangers for meth money???”

As you can likely guess, this makes me quite popular at parties.

Yes I know, it’s blunt, but the fact is that almost everyone gives me some variation on:

“I just don’t have enough money, I have work and family commitments, oh and the time, there’s just no way I’d have time to do this, so who the hell invited you anyway?”

Interestingly, in addition to dodging hurled daiquiris, and excluding myself from every social circle to which I’ve previously belonged, I’ve yet to hear anyone say that what they want is actually impossible.

Our world is so connected that we can’t escape the sight of a not insignificant amount of people that are in fact doing the impossible, living life on their own terms.

This fact should make it clear to you;

There’s but one simple change separating you from all these people living your wildest dreams:

 

They stop being such a whiny, little, bitch-ass.

 

That’s right, they decided to grab life by the balls, take charge, and change their lives. You, on the other hand, are still sat on your sofa, devouring cheese dip and jacking off to the thought of Danika on daddy’s Monaco yacht.

The only thing standing in your way is fear. You know it can be done, that there are plenty of hours in your day that aren’t contributing to the greatest, most badass version of yourself.

You’re just scared. Scared of committing to be better. Scared of failure. Scared of your egomaniacal, serpent-tongued mother-in-law’s smug, snide Sunday lunch comments of

“Ewhhh Finneus*…. how’s that business thing going…?”,

“Yes yes alright Susan, it’s a work in progress, politely fuck off already”.

 

*for the full effect, replace “Finneus” with your own name

Now, as scary as this seems, it’s NOWHERE NEAR as diabolical as spending years with all thoughts of your future, creativity, and happiness crushed under the sheer weight of existing in a life you somehow convinced yourself that you wanted.

Trust me.

Make the decision by choice.

Listen to the kind chancellor

 

It’s much more pleasant, and I can also promise this; greatness, fulfillment, everything you ever wanted DOES lie on the other side of that fear.

So, let’s direct my question at you. Let’s experience the world as it isn’t and has never been, but as it might be. Let’s escape today as your mind silently transports you into tomorrow…

 “In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

 

Maybe it was something like this?

  • How about living in a beachfront penthouse in Croatia, moonlight skinny dipping with a national team pole vaulter and screaming insanities from the tower of a medieval castle on a mountaintop in the middle of a lightning storm?

  • Perhaps spelunking through the caves underneath Budapest, realizing you might “have a thing” for being smushed into tight spaces. Maybe raving in an insane thermal bath party or yachting on Hungary’s largest lake?
  • More adrenaline? How about an epic 8-day motorbike trip around the untamed north of Vietnam. Sunkissed hidden valleys, ferocious limestone mountains lined with rice paddies and somehow managing to drive your bike off a cliff.
  • Training with muay thai fighters in Thailand? Partying at the ladyboy cabaret? Diving on the most pristine reefs in the world?.. Or perhaps getting krazy krunk and making mistakes at the full-moon party?
  • Perhaps you’re looking for love? Party with the most beautiful people on the planet in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Eat the best steak. Drink the best malbec. Learn to tango... Fail to learn Spanish because you’re too distracted by the previously mentioned beautiful people.
  • Adventure in the wilds of Peru? Rip through the desert on a dune buggy to the hidden oasis town of Huacachina. Maybe spend 5 days hiking through the Andes mountains, mountain biking at 4,100m, relaxing in thermal springs and squeezing four soaking wet, fully grown men into a two-person tent, all on the way to the ancient wonder of Machu Picchu.
  • More intense? How about paintballing at Pablo Escobar’s holiday home in Colombia? Getting lost in the jungle in a thunderstorm? Repelling down a waterfall? Or staying in a floating Caribbean villa while taking romantic midnight swims in a lagoon lit up with glowing plankton?
  • Maybe you’d like some history, taking a hot air balloon the ancient temple of Teotihuacan in Mexico? Summiting a 4,700ft volcano? Training with professional luchadors in the arena? Or diving through collapsed cave cenotes on the coast?
  •  Perhaps traveling back in time? Smoke Cohiba cigars, drink mojitos in weird art gallery-night club crossovers, and race around in 1950s chevies in Havana.
  • Nature fix? Road trip from Arizona to Canada. Hike and camp in Sedona, the Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, Zion, the volcanic Crater Lake, the Giant Sequoias and Redwoods, Olympic rainforest and Banff National Park. Visit Vegas, Phoenix, San Diego, LA, San Fran, Seattle, and Vancouver.
  •  More magic? Take a midnight hike up Ijen, Java’s blue fire volcano. Take a motorbike to Bali through the mountains and towering hidden waterfalls. Fly across the sea floor with enormous manta rays.

That’s honestly a valiant effort by myself to pick just a few of the highlights from my last 18 months.

So, all of those insane experiences and more, 16 countries, all of those flights, all of the penthouses, and apartments, and exotic food, and parties, and insanity. How much do you think it all cost?

Those are a fraction of the awesome things I’ve done in the last 18 months, and it cost me:

 

Roughly $3,000 total spend per month.

 

Much less than it cost me to live in my tiny apartment in London, a city which is nice for roughly 6 weeks a year, and contains approximately zero adventure.

And if now you’re thinking “Oh Connor you’re very amusing, but I don’t have $3,000 spare”.

Know this… neither did I!

The first 12 months of my adventures and fun I made that money as I went along, and I was living like royalty. I’ve seen some of the most amazing sites in the world, immersed myself in a myriad of interesting cultures, eaten more weird foods than I can count, met hundreds of amazing people, partied my ass off.

All of this, for less money than most people make in a job they despise, living in a city they have no time to enjoy, dining on bland burgers and filling what remains of their day trying to figure out if Steven fucking Avery actually murdered that girl or not.

It’s not about the money, it’s about the freedom.

 

If you can work from wherever you want, whenever you want, on whatever you want, you’ll be surprised at just how many amazing things you can do without being a big baller millionaire, trust fund baby, or crying into a mountain of cocaine about how Danika dumped you for some arsehole with an even more overcompensatory car than you.

 

“You have my attention….. So how do I get all of these freedoms you keep banging on about?”

Why Finneus, I’m so glad you asked…

Remember my not-so dream job? That was with an Instagram software company. Whilst there I learned techniques and hacks for rapidly growing an Instagram account. When we parted ways, I started a fitness business called Transform Fitspo (I do not have a fitness or nutrition certificate of any sort), here’s how it did:

  • I used Instagram hacks and psychology insights gleaned from a crippling foray into depression, to grow an audience of 250,000 followers in 10 months. 100% organic, 100% for free.
  • I created several fitness training ebooks and started selling them to my Instagram audience. After three months I was making $5,000-12,500 in sales per month.
  • I modified the hacks and visual marketing techniques I’d learned with Instagram for Pinterest. Within 6 months I had 450,000 monthly website visitors, and millions of daily Pinterest profile visitors. 
    • I started an email list to make better use of these visitors, growing almost 30,000 subscribers in 4 months.
    • Transform Fitspo was almost completely automated, taking only 4 hours per month to run for the last 3-4 months.
    • The business made over $100,000 for the 18 months I was running it.
    • When I got tired of the business, I sold it for $120,000 in 4 days of advertising it. No questions asked it was snapped up as it was so simple to manage.

    Once again, almost all of this was achieved while I’ve been traveling full time.

    Before I turned 27.

    This is not impossible.

    I wish to share with you, a little more about how I created this life.

    Even though life’s looking pretty fucking rosy at the moment, having metamorphosed into a somewhat beautiful butterfly, it may amuse you to look at the utter shit-show, that lead me here. 

    These story points may seem odd, or unrelated, but they all come together in integral ways to create the success I’ve just shared with you, so stick with it!

    • I used Instagram hacks and psychology insights gleaned from a crippling foray into depression, to grow an audience of 250,000 followers in 10 months. 100% organic, 100% for free.
    • I created several fitness training ebooks and started selling them to my Instagram audience. After three months I was making $5,000-12,500 in sales per month.
    • I modified the hacks and visual marketing techniques I’d learned with Instagram for Pinterest. Within 6 months I had 450,000 monthly website visitors, and millions of daily Pinterest profile visitors. 
      • I started an email list to make better use of these visitors, growing almost 30,000 subscribers in 4 months.
      • Transform Fitspo was almost completely automated, taking only 4 hours per month to run for the last 3-4 months.
      • The business made over $100,000 for the 18 months I was running it.
      • When I got tired of the business, I sold it for $120,000 in 4 days of advertising it. No questions asked it was snapped up as it was so simple to manage.

      Once again, almost all of this was achieved while I’ve been traveling full time.

      Before I turned 27.

      This is not impossible.

      I wish to share with you, a little more about how I created this life.

      Even though life’s looking pretty fucking rosy at the moment, having metamorphosed into a somewhat beautiful butterfly, it may amuse you to look at the utter shit-show, that lead me here.

      These story points may seem odd, or unrelated, but they all come together in integral ways to create the success I’ve just shared with you, so stick with it!

      Mutilation Contemplation

       

      Time passes like thick molasses.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      It’s a particularly slow Tuesday at the office. I stare so intensely at the clock that for an eternal second, I’m sure I can see it’s atoms buzzing around.

      No.

      Not see, hear.

      A distant buzz will not subside.

      For time immemorial, I’ve been playing one of the world’s most popular sports, the endearingly mindless game of “imagining more enjoyable experiences than this”:

      • Setting off a nail bomb, and attempting to catch said nails, with my face?
      • Hand writing my inner monologue, in an inspired attempt to endanger the world’s supply of “fucks”?
      • Tattooing my foreskin, with a harpoon?

      Roughly 38 seconds have passed.

       

      I decide that getting awesome new ink, learning calligraphy or dramatically improving my impression of a cabbage, are unlikely to radically change my mood.

       

      I resume my attempt to discern the quantum nature of the office clock.

       

      Glaciers melt and empires collapse, raging rivers carve through mountain ranges like butter and stars erupt in spectacular supernovae.

       

      The workday ends.

      Something. needs. to. change.

       

      You see, I’m brutally depressed, a delightful issue that has succeeded in drowning the elaborate tapestry of my experience in a thick, viscous tar. My every moment is permeated by a high pitched, oh-so melodic ringing as if setting off a flash-bang grenade was an integral part of my morning routine, you know, after my yoga, before my green superfood antioxidant gluten-free keto smoothie, obviously.

      To track the start of this wondrous adventure, we need to roll the clock back to cute, adorable 14 year old Connor:

      My first “real” girlfriend of over a year, has just cheated on me with best friend, who’s then claimed the offending party is my other best friend. 😶

      So all at once, three of the people I’m meant to trust most in the world have potentially betrayed me.

      Worse still, I still don’t know what the actual story is, and so have to spend weeks trying to piece it together.

      This is fucking stressful for a 14 year old, or I guess anyone really…

      Anyway, the point of this little nugget is, this is the time I discovered I could employ the strange and charming ability to crush my emotions and objections into a tiny-weeny little box, and bury them so deep within my subconscious, that I’d never need to think about them again.

       

      (let your imagination fade to black so you know we’re moving forward in time..)

      I’m perhaps 21, in an increasingly serious relationship with a beautiful, kind and caring girl who appears completely taken with the idea of graduating, getting a house together and filling it with cozy little trinkets, getting a pup or two and starting our perfect country life together.

      Life is amazing.

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      I cannot shake the feeling that I am 100%, unequivocally, without doubt, not meant to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

       

      What am I supposed to do?? She’s lovely, we kind of fell into a relationship, and I don’t want to crush her.

      So I call on old faithful, my little box of emotions and objections, and I shut any thoughts of being unhappy nice and deep in my subconscious.

      Don’t want to think about you.

      Perfect.

       

      So with that problem nicely resolved, we can take a look at my next bright move.

      At this time, I’m also studying for my Physics degree.

      Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all things sciencey. Space, genetics, nanotech, nuclear energy fucking laser beam blasting robots? Sign me up.

      But the actual degree part……. That’s a different story.

      You see, I wanted to learn Physics for the joy of it, in fact, a year before finishing I learned I didn’t even need the damn degree. I had a job offer for a marketing role, something I’d dabbled with before my studies. A job created especially for me. A job where I could do try out any marketing strategies, tricks, and hacks I wanted.

      “That’s so awesome! So did you quit the degree and start your dream job, or did you just relax in your most difficult year, kick back on the exams and enjoy your classes?”

       

      Apparently, a good portion of my self perceived value while younger had become wrapped up in the strategic balancing of “the cool kid”, and “the smart kid”.

      Since starting university, I appeared to be neither.

      So with a lovely little storm of insecurity brewing, I internalized the need to win at everything, and proceed to take any tasty, logical objections about just how pointless my degree will be, and fold them neatly away in my little emotions box. 

      Off I go, miserably working 16 hours a day, every day, for my entire final year. 

      It’s not like all this conscious and determined repression could, you know, one day explode in a catastrophic meltdown….

      Speaking of the devil, we can now roll forward once more to “the dream job”, and THE MAIN EVENT, OF THE EVENIIING.

      I’m 23 and feeling lighter now that I’ve wrapped up my studies and am ready to start changing up the rest of my life!

      Moving with approximately the speed of continental drift, I’ve recently managed to stop being a complete pussy, and breach the topic to my girlfriend of seven, yes SEVEN years, that maybe… just maybe… I don’t, want to be in a relationship anymore…..?

      This was not my finest moment, especially considering it was Christmas and at her family’s house when I felt it pertinent to raise this quandary.

      It wasn’t pretty. Not at all.

      But was the entire planet enveloped in nuclear inferno, as my brain had clearly convinced me was a very real possibility?

      No.

      Long overdue weight removed.

      Ready to start becoming awesome.

      So, my amazing, one of a kind, created for me, dream job…

      I know, I know, degree done, relationship over, netted the dream job;

      Life is amazing.

      There’s just this one thing.

      Having casually breezed past dating in and before university, having been in this relationship since I was 17, I’m now thoroughly panicked at stepping out on my own.

      How the hell do I hit on girls?

      Do I go to a club? A bar? Tinder? Bumble? Wtf is Coffee Meets Bagel??

      …and, and, and a billion other maddening little questions buzz around my head, generally succeeding only to make me an anxious, depressed mess.

      Surprisingly, this doesn’t give you the creativity to impress at the job that has literally been made for you…

      After several months It’s becoming increasingly obvious that I’m making far less money for the little startup than I’m being paid. My boss, an all-around awesome guy, needs to crank up the pressure. So crank he does.

      The panic this induces begins to erode the very foundation of my being.

      As I mentioned, I’ve been dabbling with online business and marketing for a long time. I’d studied it a lot, made a little cash online when I was a teen selling guides and working as a freelancer.

      The problem is, despite my self image somehow having become that of “the entrepreneur”, I’d never actually had sustained success with these endeavors. The niggling fear that I may not actually be as good at all this shit as I’ve convinced myself, combined with my complete inability to make money for this company, is rapidly crushing me.

      I remember being like 15, reading Richard Branson’s Autobiography, the first book I’d ever voluntarily read, and decided I was going to make awesome businesses, buy an island and take a trip to space.

      Reality however, is just doing a fantastic job of bludgeoning this fantasy into a mushy pulp.

      If I’ve been wrong about all of this business stuff for the last decade, what the fuck am I meant to do with my life instead??

      My entire identity is under threat. I’m terrified.

      You see, in retrospect, the real issue is obvious; my handy little box of repressed emotions.

      I’d clearly been desperate to start my own business since I was 15, and now, almost 10 years later, I’d convinced myself that I should work for someone else. I convinced myself that I could take the safe route, getting a salary to take the risk out of essentially still making a business.

      The only issue here is the risk is essential. I needed the fear, the ability to fail, the drive knowing that 100% of the success of an endeavor was completely in my hands.

      Once again, at some point, I took all of those objections, stuffed them deep inside me, and continued to use the strategy that has clearly been working so stunningly for me until now.

      More amusingly yet, my depressive panic is so monstrous, so reality bending, that I am able to convince myself that all I really need is some remote work, to travel while I keep the safety of my salary.

      I’m firmly convinced that this is the answer.

      THIS one simple change will fix me. I’ll be so happy.

      Oh wow, oh boy, I cannot wait to feel like myself again!

      I’m overjoyed for days, until my weekly meeting with my boss.

      We sit, we banter, we laugh.

      I then mention flights to and hotel in Barcelona, that I’ve already booked

      I remember this so clearly, it still makes me feel nauseous to recall 🤢:

      My boss’s head jerks back slightly, eyes widen, and as calmly as he can, says:

      “That’s an interesting way to ask for a work holiday.”

      It’s at this moment that I realize that my little box, the one designed to be so stealthy, that had until now been hidden better than El Dorado, now proceeds to explode with all the force of a great typhoon (be a, maaaan).

      Remember that dull ringing?

      Well, that’s now taken on the flavor of a cathedral, full of raging hornets…

      Intensity increases.

      Seconds smear out and spaghettify.

      Oh no…

      I have become time itself.

      In response, my brain politely folds in half.

      After being alone with my thoughts for the entire Cretaceous period, I slowly reply:

      “Fuck…. Sorry….”

      Sooo….. After a brief conversation and the even briefer implosion of all existence, I’m given an ultimatum to get my shit together, like yesterday, and I head off for my work holiday.

      All the stress doesn’t matter.

       

      I’m certain that doing a little travel will fix my creativity, I’ll start making sales and everything will be unicorns and fucking rainbows, right?

       

      I’m so stressed with the pressure to shit miracles, that I find myself ugly crying on the docks in  Barcelona.

      It becomes yet another dazzling trophy in my as-of-late rapidly expanding collection of; “not my finest moments”.

      Upon my return, we hash out my “resignation” and within a few weeks, I’m on my way…

      Actually, let’s get a little mental health awareness in here, should be interesting…

      You know the funny thing about a mental breakdown?

      It’s just how unfunny they seem. How ordinary.

      In fact, they’re such a mind-numbing ordinary experience, that we rarely consider that our stunningly spontaneous work holiday, or the equations of the universe scrawled across our bedroom walls are in the slightest bit off. If we did, we’d of course not be acting that way.

      No.

      It’s only when the maddening irrationality of our actions is pointed out to us so clearly, so unarguably, so unequivocally, that we’re forced to consider that maybe we’re being a complete dick to our boss, or that we’ve not somehow completed the work that has eluded a centuries worth of super genius’….

      It’s only then that the raging freight train of reality kindly spatters our brains across the room in such an awe-inspiring way it would make even Pollock blush.

      So, I’m out of the job, everything trapping me is gone, and that little box of emotions is bust right open.
       

      Life is amazing.

       

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      When I look at all of the money in my bank account, it is approximately the size of no money.

      I’ve got enough to last three months, MAXIMUM, and I need to build a successful business from scratch in that time.

      Despite a seemingly impressive ability to transmute seconds into eons, this is not long enough to build a business,

      Or so I thought…

      You see, what I lack in time and money, I appear to more than make up for with luck.

      And, holy fuckingshitballs, was I lucky:

      • Lucky I had no children, loans, dependants, a job, or even friends close by, and had so much practice at working like a psychopath and eating like a knave while studying. This allowed me to sink 16+ hours a day into my business while surviving on sugar-filled sports drinks, caffeine, and instant noodles until my focus was utterly exhausted, and my lap festooned with mushy grey matter. I could then sleep and repeat, for months.
      • Lucky that I studied Physics, giving me a deep appreciation for data, testing, and experimentation. It was in a large part due to all of my tests that I found a profitable business niche so quickly.
      • Lucky that my previous job was with an Instagram marketing tool, familiarising me with the platform, what niches were working on it, and what other tools and tricks could be used to effectively grow audiences.
      • Lucky that I’d been interested in online marketing for over a decade, even without success. This meant I could skip 1-2 months of familiarisation, and get moving with the tests I thought had the best chance at bearing fruit.
      • Lucky I completely fucked up my brain, giving a great incentive to get to grips with psychology and how my stupid monkey brain is constantly attempting to subvert what I actually want at every turn. This intricately immersive look at the human brain gave some brilliant insights into “viral”, allowing me to leverage massive organic growth, without having to pay for clicks like most marketers do.
      • Lucky I made my business work when it did. After three months of working like crazy, I was still making nowhere near enough. I had ~$200 to my name (which may surprise you, is not enough for rent in London…). I was two weeks from a rent bill I would not have been able to pay when everything started miraculously working.
      • Lucky I started toying with Pinterest so that when Instagram changed their algorithm, killing my growth and earnings from it, I could lean on Pinterest whilst I relearned how to make a success out of Instagram.

      Might you get this lucky?

      I really hope so, but a lot of factors had to come together for me to perhaps be uniquely suited to achieving the success I needed to start changing my life into something beautiful, with such limited time, money and knowledge.

      It’s only because of this unlikely panoply of lucky circumstances that my last 2 years had any chance of containing some feats, that in retrospect, are pretty fucking awesome:

      • Building a six-figure, automated fitness business.
      • 250,000 Instagram followers.
      • 450,000 monthly website visitors from Pinterest.
      • 30,000 email subscribers.
      • Staying in 36 cities in 15 countries, always in the best part of town, almost always in villas, penthouses or flashy apartments.
      • Eating out and partying A LOT.   
      • Diving with manta rays, bioluminescent plankton, and giant sea turtles.
      • Breathtaking motorbike adventures in Vietnam, Mexico, Thailand, and Indonesia.
      • Hiking 3 volcanos, swimming 5 jungle waterfalls, scaling countless epic mountain ranges.
      • Visiting some of the world’s most famous tourist sites: Sagrada Familia, ANGKOR WAT, Machu Picchu, The Grand Canyon, Banff National Park.
      • Business sold for $120,000 after 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time.
      • Last three months of business took 12 hours TOTAL to manage.

       

      Most important of all:

      I’ve had the adventures, experiences, and freedom to learn what I really value, what truly makes me feel happy and fulfilled, what I enjoy and want to commit my life to.

      I really cannot put a price on that!

       

      So, slow down, take a deep breath and tell me, Does your current life, reflect your ideal life?

      You, like I once did, likely find life ringing with the feeling of a broken promise.

      That you’ve, somewhat perplexingly, been steered from your grand ambitions of a magnificent life, into an unimaginably dull malaise.

      That your existence is racing by, unfulfilling, and frankly, a little pathetic.

       

      When the day comes to a close, and you’re brushing your teeth, wouldn’t you rather look up in the mirror and see someone with a purpose, someone living up to their potential, someone that each day, you’re more and more proud to be?

       

      This could be the case.

      You know it.

      You merely need to summon the courage and decide to change your life.

      I, alongside numerous others, am living proof of it, and you can imitate everything I’ve done.

      Mutilation Contemplation

       

      Time passes like thick molasses.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      It’s a particularly slow Tuesday at the office. I stare so intensely at the clock that for an eternal second, I’m sure I can see it’s atoms buzzing around.

      No.

      Not see, hear.

      A distant buzz will not subside.

      For time immemorial, I’ve been playing one of the world’s most popular sports, the endearingly mindless game of “imagining more enjoyable experiences than this”:

      • Setting off a nail bomb, and attempting to catch said nails, with my face?
      • Hand writing my inner monologue, in an inspired attempt to endanger the world’s supply of “fucks”?
      • Tattooing my foreskin, with a harpoon?

      Roughly 38 seconds have passed.

       

      I decide that getting awesome new ink, learning calligraphy or dramatically improving my impression of a cabbage, are unlikely to radically change my mood.

       

      I resume my attempt to discern the quantum nature of the office clock.

       

      Glaciers melt and empires collapse, raging rivers carve through mountain ranges like butter and stars erupt in spectacular supernovae.

       

      The workday ends.

      Something needs to change.

       

      You see, I’m brutally depressed, a delightful issue that has succeeded in drowning the elaborate tapestry of my experience in a thick, viscous tar. My every moment is permeated by a high pitched, oh-so melodic ringing as if setting off a flash-bang grenade was an integral part of my morning routine, you know, after my yoga, before my green superfood antioxidant gluten-free Buddha bowl, obviously.

      To track the start of this wondrous adventure, we need to roll the clock back to cute, adorable 14 year old Connor:

      My first “real” girlfriend of over a year, has just cheated on me with best friend, who’s then claimed the offending party is my other best friend. 😶

      So all at once, three of the people I’m meant to trust most in the world have potentially betrayed me.

      Worse still, I still don’t know what the actual story is, and so have to spend weeks trying to piece it together.

      This is fucking stressful for a 14 year old, or I guess anyone really…

      Anyway, the point of this little nugget is, this is the time I discovered I could employ the strange and charming ability to crush my emotions and objections into a tiny-weeny little box, and bury them so deep within my subconscious, that I’d never need to think about them again.

       

      (let your imagination fade to black so you know we’re moving forward in time..)

      I’m perhaps 21, in an increasingly serious relationship with a beautiful, kind and caring girl who appears completely taken with the idea of graduating, getting a house together and filling it with cozy little trinkets, getting a pup or two and starting our perfect country life together.

      Life is amazing.

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      I cannot shake the feeling that I am 100%, unequivocally, without doubt, not meant to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

      What am I supposed to do?? She’s lovely, we kind of fell into a relationship, and I don’t want to crush her.

      So I call on old faithful, my little box of emotions and objections, and I shut any thoughts of being unhappy nice and deep in my subconscious.

      Don’t want to think about you.

      Perfect.

       

      So with that problem nicely resolved, we can take a look at my next bright move.

      At this time, I’m also studying for my Physics degree.

      Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all things sciencey. Space, genetics, nanotech, nuclear energy fucking laser beam blasting robots? Sign me up.

      But the actual degree part……. That’s a different story.

      You see, I wanted to learn Physics for the joy of it, in fact, a year before finishing I learned I didn’t even need the damn degree. I had a job offer for a marketing role, something I’d dabbled with before my studies. A job created especially for me. A job where I could do try out any marketing strategies, tricks, and hacks I wanted.

      “That’s so awesome! So did you quit the degree and start your dream job, or did you just relax in your most difficult year, kick back on the exams and enjoy your classes?”

       

      Apparently, a good portion of my self perceived value while younger had become wrapped up in the strategic balancing of “the cool kid”, and “the smart kid”.

      Since starting university, I appeared to be neither.

      So with a lovely little storm of insecurity brewing, I internalized the need to win at everything, and proceed to take any tasty, logical objections about just how pointless my degree will be, and fold them neatly away in my little emotions box. 

      Off I go, miserably working 16 hours a day, every day, for my entire final year. 

      It’s not like all this conscious and determined repression could, you know, one day explode in a catastrophic meltdown….

      Speaking of the devil, we can now roll forward once more to “the dream job”, and THE MAIN EVENT, OF THE EVENIIING.

      I’m 23 and feeling lighter now that I’ve wrapped up my studies and am ready to start changing up the rest of my life!

      Moving with approximately the speed of continental drift, I’ve recently managed to stop being a complete pussy, and breach the topic to my girlfriend of seven, yes SEVEN years, that maybe… just maybe… I don’t, want to be in a relationship anymore…..?

      This was not my finest moment, especially considering it was Christmas and at her family’s house when I felt it pertinent to raise this quandary.

      It wasn’t pretty. Not at all.

      But was the entire planet enveloped in nuclear inferno, as my brain had clearly convinced me was a very real possibility?

      No.

      Long overdue weight removed.

      Ready to start becoming awesome.

      So, my amazing, one of a kind, created for me, dream job…

      I know, I know, degree done, relationship over, netted the dream job;

      Life is amazing.

      There’s just this one thing.

      Having casually breezed past dating in and before university, having been in this relationship since I was 17, I’m now thoroughly panicked at stepping out on my own.

      How the hell do I hit on girls?

      Do I go to a club? A bar? Tinder? Bumble? Wtf is Coffee Meets Bagel??

      …and, and, and a billion other maddening little questions buzz around my head, generally succeeding only to make me an anxious, depressed mess.

      Surprisingly, this doesn’t give you the creativity to impress at the job that has literally been made for you…

      After several months It’s becoming increasingly obvious that I’m making far less money for the little startup than I’m being paid. My boss, an all-around awesome guy, needs to crank up the pressure. So crank he does.

      The panic this induces begins to erode the very foundation of my being.

      As I mentioned, I’ve been dabbling with online business and marketing for a long time. I’d studied it a lot, made a little cash online when I was a teen selling guides and working as a freelancer.

      The problem is, despite my self image somehow having become that of “the entrepreneur”, I’d never actually had sustained success with these endeavors. The niggling fear that I may not actually be as good at all this shit as I’ve convinced myself, combined with my complete inability to make money for this company, is rapidly crushing me.

      I remember being 15 and reading Richard Branson’s Autobiography, the first book I’d ever voluntarily read, and decided I was going to make awesome businesses, buy an island and take a trip to space.

      Reality however, is just doing a fantastic job of bludgeoning this fantasy into a mushy pulp.

      If I’ve been wrong about all of this business stuff for the last decade, what the fuck am I meant to do with my life instead??

      My entire identity is under threat. I’m terrified.

      You see, in retrospect, the real issue is obvious; my handy little box of repressed emotions.

      I’d clearly been desperate to start my own business since I was 15, and now, almost 10 years later, I’d convinced myself that I should work for someone else. I convinced myself that I could take the safe route, getting a salary to take the risk out of essentially still making a business.

      The only issue here is the risk is essential. I needed the fear, the ability to fail, the drive knowing that 100% of the success of an endeavor was completely in my hands.

      Once again, at some point, I took all of those objections, stuffed them deep inside me, and continued to use the strategy that has clearly been working so stunningly for me until now.

      More amusingly yet, my depressive panic is so monstrous, so reality bending, that I am able to convince myself that all I really need is some remote work, to travel while I keep the safety of my salary.

      I’m firmly convinced that this is the answer.

      THIS one simple change will fix me. I’ll be so happy.

      Oh wow, oh boy, I cannot wait to feel like myself again!

      I’m overjoyed for days, until my weekly meeting with my boss.

      We sit, we banter, we laugh.

      I then mention the flights to and hotel in Barcelona, that I’ve already booked

      I remember this so clearly, it still makes me feel nauseous to recall 🤢:

      My boss’s head jerks back slightly, eyes widen, and as calmly as he can, says:

      “That’s an interesting way to ask for a work holiday.”

      It’s at this moment that I realize that my little box, the one designed to be so stealthy, so difficult to find that I ideally never need to deal with the issues it contains, ceases to function as advertised. What had until now been hidden better than El Dorado, now proceeds to explode with all the force of a great typhoon (be a, maaaan).

      Remember that dull ringing?

      Well, that’s now taken on the flavor of a cathedral, full of raging hornets…

      Intensity increases.

      Seconds smear out and spaghettify.

      Oh no…

      I have become time itself.

      In response, my brain politely folds in half.

       

      After being alone with my thoughts for the entire Cretaceous period, I slowly reply:

      “fuck…… sorry”

      Sooo….. After a brief conversation and the even briefer implosion of all existence, I’m given an ultimatum to get my shit together, like yesterday, and I head off for my work holiday.

      All the stress doesn’t matter.

       

      I’m certain that doing a little travel will fix my creativity, I’ll start making sales and everything will be unicorns and fucking rainbows, right?

       

      I’m so stressed with the pressure to shit miracles, that I find myself ugly crying on the docks in  Barcelona.

      It becomes yet another dazzling trophy in my as-of-late rapidly expanding collection of; “not my finest moments”.

      Upon my return, we hash out my “resignation” and within a few weeks, I’m on my way…

      Actually, let’s get a little mental health awareness in here, should be interesting…

      You know the funny thing about a mental breakdown?

      It’s just how unfunny they seem. How ordinary.

      In fact, they’re such a mind-numbing ordinary experience, that we rarely consider that our stunningly spontaneous work holiday, or the equations of the universe scrawled across our bedroom walls are in the slightest bit off. If we did, we’d of course not be acting that way.

      No.

      It’s only when the maddening irrationality of our actions is pointed out to us so clearly, so unarguably, so unequivocally, that we’re forced to consider that maybe we’re being a complete dick to our boss, or that we’ve not somehow completed the work that has eluded a centuries worth of super genius’….

      It’s only then that the raging freight train of reality kindly spatters our brains across the room in such an awe-inspiring way it would make even Pollock blush.

      So, I’m out of the job, everything trapping me is gone, and that little box of emotions is bust right open.
       

      Life is amazing.

       

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      When I look at all of the money in my bank account, it is approximately the size of no money.

      I’ve got enough to last three months, MAXIMUM, and I need to build a successful business from scratch in that time.

      Despite a seemingly impressive ability to transmute seconds into eons, this is not long enough to build a business,

      Or so I thought…

      You see, what I lack in time and money, I appear to more than make up for with luck.

      And, holy fuckingshitballs, was I lucky:

      • Lucky I had no children, loans, dependants, a job, or even friends close by, and had so much practice at working like a psychopath and eating like a knave while studying. This allowed me to sink 16+ hours a day into my business while surviving on sugar-filled sports drinks, caffeine, and instant noodles until my focus was utterly exhausted, and my lap festooned with mushy grey matter. I could then sleep and repeat, for months.
      • Lucky that I studied Physics, giving me a deep appreciation for data, testing, and experimentation. It was in a large part due to all of my tests that I found a profitable business niche so quickly.
      • Lucky that my previous job was with an Instagram marketing tool, familiarising me with the platform, what niches were working on it, and what other tools and tricks could be used to effectively grow audiences.
      • Lucky that I’d been interested in online marketing for over a decade, even without success. This meant I could skip 1-2 months of familiarisation, and get moving with the tests I thought had the best chance at bearing fruit.
      • Lucky I completely fucked up my brain, giving a great incentive to get to grips with psychology and how my stupid monkey brain is constantly attempting to subvert what I actually want at every turn. This intricately immersive look at the human brain gave some brilliant insights into “viral”, allowing me to leverage massive organic growth, without having to pay for clicks like most marketers do.
      • Lucky I made my business work when it did. After three months of working like crazy, I was still making nowhere near enough. I had ~$200 to my name (which may surprise you, is not enough for rent in London…). I was two weeks from a rent bill I would not have been able to pay when everything started miraculously working.
      • Lucky I started toying with Pinterest so that when Instagram changed their algorithm, killing my growth and earnings from it, I could lean on Pinterest whilst I relearned how to make a success out of Instagram.

      Might you get this lucky?

      I really hope so, but a lot of factors had to come together for me to perhaps be uniquely suited to achieving the success I needed to start changing my life into something beautiful, with such limited time, money and knowledge.

      It’s only because of this unlikely panoply of lucky circumstances that my last 2 years had any chance of containing some feats, that in retrospect, are pretty fucking awesome:

      • Building a six-figure, automated fitness business.
      • 250,000 Instagram followers.
      • 450,000 monthly website visitors from Pinterest.
      • 30,000 email subscribers.
      • Staying in 36 cities in 15 countries, always in the best part of town, almost always in villas, penthouses or flashy apartments.
      • Eating out and partying A LOT.   
      • Diving with manta rays, bioluminescent plankton, and giant sea turtles.
      • Breathtaking motorbike adventures in Vietnam, Mexico, Thailand, and Indonesia.
      • Hiking 3 volcanos, swimming 5 jungle waterfalls, scaling countless epic mountain ranges.
      • Visiting some of the world’s most famous tourist sites: Sagrada Familia, ANGKOR WAT, Machu Picchu, The Grand Canyon, Banff National Park.
      • Business sold for $120,000 after 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time.
      • Last three months of business took 12 hours TOTAL to manage.

       

      Most important of all:

      I’ve had the adventures, experiences, and freedom to learn what I really value, what truly makes me feel happy and fulfilled, what I enjoy and want to commit my life to.

      I really cannot put a price on that!

       

      So, slow down, take a deep breath and tell me, does your current life reflect your ideal life?

      You, like I once did, likely find life ringing with the feeling of a broken promise.

      That you’ve, somewhat perplexingly, been steered from your grand ambitions of a magnificent life, into an unimaginably dull malaise.

      That your existence is racing by, unfulfilling, and frankly, a little pathetic.

       

      When the day comes to a close, and you’re brushing your teeth, wouldn’t you rather look up in the mirror and see someone with a purpose, someone living up to their potential, someone that each day, you’re more and more proud to be?

       

      This could be the case.

      You know it.

      You merely need to summon the courage and decide to change your life.

      I, alongside numerous others, am living proof of it, and you can imitate everything I’ve done.

      Why Now is Still The best time ever to start:

       

      1. Everyone is using Instagram (badly).

      Everyone is tirelessly grinding trying to take perfect smoothie bowl photos, throwing countless hours into a unproven audiences.

      On top of that; no one cares about Pinterest. There. I said it. It has an image problem as most marketers assume it’s just full of moms. Don’t think this is a bad thing – most marketers are just pure wrong, which means you have a much easier time dominating the platform.

      2. Organic marketing is FUCKING DIFFICULT.

      Almost everyone uses paid marketing, which you’ll generally need to invest thousands of dollars before you figure out which ads actually work (let alone how to turn those clicks into cash).

      With organic marketing, you need to be an absolute demon at understanding psychology, because you need the tiny amount of people that see your content to start sharing it. 

      3. Everyone thinks one Instagram account is enough (spoiler alert)..

      It ain’t.

      In a charming entrepreneurial flourish, I decided I would instead use, hundreds. One account can only post 1-5 times a day. You need vastly more data than that to figure out what the most powerful target audience is, and what content works the best. Also, if you rely on one large account, and suddenly the magic algorithm pixies change their minds, it can die. Quickly.

      Don’t do this.

      The problem then becomes figuring out how to manage this behemoth. So that’s what I did!

      The truth is, if you keep doing the same shit as everyone else, you’re going to get the same, shit results.

      You need to dare to dream bigger.

      Come with me, let’s once again frolic in the best of all imaginary tomorrows.

      How would you feel if you could:

      Share your passion to help thousands of people? Every. Single. Week

      How sweet would it be if you could earn a living whittling those artisanal sporks? How energized would you feel each morning, knowing your job description is now: “Get up and kick some fucking ass at whatever I love doing”?

       

      Use a guaranteed way to reach these people without needing $thousands$ to invest?

      How would you feel if in only a few months you could start seeing business success? You, right now, with the pathetic amount of cash you have to your name, without having to risk leaving your career (even though it’s about as fun as chewing glass).

       

      Add extra hours to your day!

      That’s right, how would you feel if you were suddenly adept in time magic? [crippling depression not required]

      Imagine if you could free up your entire day to do whatever the hell you feel like. Want to create awesome content, sail the seven seas, or finally get to making that Instagram account you’ve been dreaming of, you know the one where you snap your pet hedgehog dressed as famous movie villains?

      Whatever floats your boat, Wallace.

      Deeeeeer, der.

       

      Become a super awesome influencer.

      How would it feel to fill the hole left by your existential millennial dread with the adoration of strangers on the Internet? Think about all the amazing free teeth whitening kits, yoga bands and gluten-free granola bars people would send you!

      Sounds wonderful.

       

      Wanna know a secret? This imagined wonderland can all become real if you just focus really hard and manifest it*

       

       

       

      *by manifest it, I mean strategically use Instagram and Pinterest..

      I, my friends and my clients are living breathing proof that this is possible.

      There are formulas for these platforms that give powerful, repeatable, stable results.

      I’ve tried HUNDREDS of strategies, and only a handful of these experiments resulted in generating INSANE amounts of traffic and cash, for free.

      These strategies have made me over $250,000 in the past two years (18 months of that were spent traveling full time, and as you may intuit, adventures through the jungle do not make for the most productive work schedule).

      When running, these strategies took 4 hours PER MONTH to maintain.

      PER.

      MONTH.

      Watch your ass Tim Ferris.

      The fact is, you can create a system like I have used (and am currently repeating for several new businesses).

      You can have the freedoms you want to start building your dream life.

      Work or don’t work.

      Adventure around the world, or start concocting a harrowing work of fiction, where the twisted monster bears just a passing resemblance that heartless, ice-queen of an ex that you’re definitely, totally over..

      The point is, whatever life you desire, no matter how far removed it may seem from your current situation, it is possible for you to have that life.

       

      You have the power to feel truly, deeply fulfilled, but first, you just need the money, time and location freedom to make it so.

      Why Now is Still The best time ever to start:

       

      1. Everyone is using Instagram (badly).

      Everyone is tirelessly grinding trying to take perfect smoothie bowl photos, throwing countless hours into a unproven audiences.

      On top of that; no one cares about Pinterest. There. I said it. It has an image problem as most marketers assume it’s just full of moms. Don’t think this is a bad thing – most marketers are just pure wrong, which means you have a much easier time dominating the platform.

      2. Organic marketing is FUCKING DIFFICULT.

      Almost everyone uses paid marketing, which you’ll generally need to invest thousands of dollars before you figure out which ads actually work (let alone how to turn those clicks into cash).

      With organic marketing, you need to be an absolute demon at understanding psychology, because you need the tiny amount of people that see your content to start sharing it. 

      3. Everyone thinks one Instagram account is enough (spoiler alert)..

      It ain’t.

      In a charming entrepreneurial flourish, I decided I would instead use, hundreds. One account can only post 1-5 times a day. You need vastly more data than that to figure out what the most powerful target audience is, and what content works the best. Also, if you rely on one large account, and suddenly the magic algorithm pixies change their minds, it can die. Quickly.

      Don’t do this.

      The problem then becomes figuring out how to manage this behemoth. So that’s what I did!

      The truth is, if you keep doing the same shit as everyone else, you’re going to get the same, shit results.

      You need to dare to dream bigger.

      Come with me, let’s once again frolic in the best of all imaginary tomorrows.

      How would you feel if you could:

      Share your passion to help thousands of people? Every. Single. Week

      How sweet would it be if you could earn a living whittling those artisanal sporks? How energized would you feel each morning, knowing your job description is now: “Get up and kick some fucking ass at whatever I love doing”?

       

      Use a guaranteed way to reach these people without needing $thousands$ to invest?

      How would you feel if in only a few months you could start seeing business success? You, right now, with the pathetic amount of cash you have to your name, without having to risk leaving your career (even though it’s about as fun as chewing glass).

       

      Add extra hours to your day!

      That’s right, how would you feel if you were suddenly adept in time magic? [crippling depression not required]

      Imagine if you could free up your entire day to do whatever the hell you feel like. Want to create awesome content, sail the seven seas, or finally get to making that Instagram account you’ve been dreaming of, you know the one where you snap your pet hedgehog dressed as famous movie villains?

      Whatever floats your boat, Wallace.

      Deeeeeer, der.

       

      Become a super awesome influencer.

      How would it feel to fill the hole left by your existential millennial dread with the adoration of strangers on the Internet? Think about all the amazing free teeth whitening kits, yoga bands and gluten-free granola bars people would send you!

      Sounds wonderful.

       

      Wanna know a secret? This imagined wonderland can all become real if you just focus really hard and manifest it*

       

       

       

      *by manifest it, I mean strategically use Instagram and Pinterest..

      I, my friends and my clients are living breathing proof that this is possible.

      There are formulas for these platforms that give powerful, repeatable, stable results.

      I’ve tried HUNDREDS of strategies, and only a handful of these experiments resulted in generating INSANE amounts of traffic and cash, for free.

      These strategies have made me over $250,000 in the past two years (18 months of that were spent traveling full time, and as you may intuit, adventures through the jungle do not make for the most productive work schedule).

      When running, these strategies took 4 hours PER MONTH to maintain.

      PER.

      MONTH.

      Watch your ass Tim Ferris.

      The fact is, you can create a system like I have used (and am currently repeating for several new businesses).

      You can have the freedoms you want to start building your dream life.

      Work or don’t work.

      Adventure around the world, or start concocting a harrowing work of fiction, where the twisted monster bears just a passing resemblance that heartless, ice-queen of an ex that you’re definitely, totally over..

      The point is, whatever life you desire, no matter how far removed it may seem from your current situation, it is possible for you to have that life.

       

      You have the power to feel truly, deeply fulfilled, but first, you just need the money, time and location freedom to make it so.

      7 Steps to create your freedom business

       

      Now you’re pumped up and lavishly smothered with back-story, it’s time to get into the strategy!

      STEP 1. Find the Most Valuable Audience

       

      • I always suggest you find the existing strong niche that most closely fits your own business or business idea. You should then find out which part of that niche is most likely to buy the product you sell (or intend to).  
        • For example, I made 10 fitness Instagram accounts: hot fitness guys, hot fitness girls, gym jokes, workouts for women, workouts for men, fitness couples, before and after transformations etc.
        • I made links to fitness programs on Amazon through Bitly.com so I could see which account had the most clicks to the programs.

      STEP 2. Post Proven Content

       

      • Don’t waste your time trying to take perfect photos, or waste money flying yourself half way across the world just to become an annoying Insta-tourist viewing the planet through their iPhone… 
      • This is fine if you have a tens of thousands of followers, but don’t start this way. Instead, you should ask accounts if you can repost their content that is performing well (DM them). You can also find amazing Insta-level content on Unsplash.com.
        • I would only repost content on Instagram that had already been in the top 10% of engagement for any account. If it’s done well once, it’s much more likely to do so again. 

      STEP 3. Post fucking loads

       

      • You need to post 2-8 times a day, EVERY DAY on each of your accounts. 
      • I can’t stress this enough, with lots of accounts, all posting lots, you will be able to rapidly find out which account is focused at the most valuable audience. 
      • It’s that simple! 

       STEP 4. Hashtag ladders

        

      • People need to find your content, and hashtags are still one of the simplest, most effective ways for that to happen. The problem is in selecting them. 
      • Hashtag Ladders are a strategy I came up a few years ago when I started messing with Instagram, and they’re now known the world over as the best hashtag strategy. 
      • To make them, you need to search for hashtags relating to your account’s niche (just use Instagram’s search) and note down all of the ones with 10,000 – 500,000 previous uses. You then want to make sure you have a roughly even distribution of uses, so some with 10,000-20,000, some with 20,000-50,000, etc. 
      • The Ladders work because your posts will easily appear in the hashtag results for the low use tags, gain some engagements, start to appear for higher ones and up and up. 
      • Hashtag ladders can make it so one in every 4-5 posts you make go viral, getting 2-10x their normal engagement and giving you massive follower growth.  
        • Here is an example hashtag ladder! 

      STEP 5. Find the Insta-Junkies 

       

      • If you have time to sit on Instagram all day liking and commenting on photos, you need to thoroughly inspect your life choices up to this point..Instead, you should only be interacting with users that are the MOST likely to become followers. Lucky for you, it’s easy to find them! 
      • You should find some large influencer accounts that are posting the same type of content as you, then you see who has commented on these posts, and do the following:
        • Like their comment.
        • Follow them
        • Like 2-3 of their recent posts.
        • View their stories.
        • Maybe leave a comment on one. 
      • This will send a load of notifications to that account, encouraging them to look at your account. If you do this for 30 minutes a day, you’ll start to get followers that engage with your content, making the hashtag ladders work even better.  

      STEP 6. Talk to your audience! 

       

      • This point is so simple, and so powerful. In whatever way you can, you should ask your audience what their biggest challenge is. Add it to captions of your Instagram posts, maybe make a freebie guide to get people on your email list and include it in your first email. 
      • If you can gather from your audience, in their words, what they think the problem is, you can communicate more effectively with them, as well as sell them things they actually want. 
        • For example, I added “What’s your biggest challenge” to the first email my visitors were sent, and out of 100+ replies, there were only 7 different challenges. 7! 5 challenges made up 90% of them. 
        • Understanding these, I made a popup that called out the top 5 and it did 700% better than my old one. That means that one change ended up getting 7 times as many people to my fitness program page, and made me 7 times the money. One change! 
        • Here’s an example of a client doing the same and getting similar results:

       

      STEP 7. start making money from day 1. 

       

      • Here’s another big point, you can make money straight away. The bio links in your Instagram accounts could go to Amazon products that you think will help and you can make a commission in their partner program. Loads of companies offer “affiliate” programs that work in the same way; if you send a user that makes a sale, you get a cut. Even Airbnb has a credit scheme so you can start to build up free stays in awesome villas etc if you send people. 
      • Spent some time looking for affiliate offers that your audience wants, they can be added to your bio link, or linked in a popup like the one shown above. 
      • Don’t waste the initial follower growth your accounts get, it’s almost entirely new followers that click through your bio link, so have something they can buy. 
      • Bonus: When you’ve found out your audiences biggest challenges, create an information product to solve all of those and sell it with Shopify or WooCommerce. People will pay $50-100 for an information product if you save them a load of research time.  
        • This is exactly what I did with my fitness business, I started off sending people to Amazon workout programs, and then created my own based on all of the biggest problems people faced, selling for $37. 
        • These information products combined with Instagram and Pinterest marketing made me $5,000-$12,500 per month while I was traveling! 

      7 Steps to create your freedom business

       

      Now you’re pumped up and lavishly smothered with back-story, it’s time to get into the strategy!

      STEP 1. Find the Most Valuable Audience

       

      • I always suggest you find the existing strong niche that most closely fits your own business or business idea. You should then find out which part of that niche is most likely to buy the product you sell (or intend to).  
        • For example, I made 10 fitness Instagram accounts: hot fitness guys, hot fitness girls, gym jokes, workouts for women, workouts for men, fitness couples, before and after transformations etc.
        • I made links to fitness programs on Amazon through Bitly.com so I could see which account had the most clicks to the programs.

      STEP 2. Post Proven Content

       

      • Don’t waste your time trying to take perfect photos, or waste money flying yourself half way across the world just to become an annoying Insta-tourist viewing the planet through their iPhone… 
      • This is fine if you have a tens of thousands of followers, but don’t start this way. Instead, you should ask accounts if you can repost their content that is performing well (DM them). You can also find amazing Insta-level content on Unsplash.com.
        • I would only repost content on Instagram that had already been in the top 10% of engagement for any account. If it’s done well once, it’s much more likely to do so again. 

      STEP 3. Post fucking loads

       

      • You need to post 2-8 times a day, EVERY DAY on each of your accounts. 
      • I can’t stress this enough, with lots of accounts, all posting lots, you will be able to rapidly find out which account is focused at the most valuable audience. 
      • It’s that simple! 

       STEP 4. Hashtag ladders

        

      • People need to find your content, and hashtags are still one of the simplest, most effective ways for that to happen. The problem is in selecting them. 
      • Hashtag Ladders are a strategy I came up a few years ago when I started messing with Instagram, and they’re now known the world over as the best hashtag strategy. 
      • To make them, you need to search for hashtags relating to your account’s niche (just use Instagram’s search) and note down all of the ones with 10,000 – 500,000 previous uses. You then want to make sure you have a roughly even distribution of uses, so some with 10,000-20,000, some with 20,000-50,000, etc. 
      • The Ladders work because your posts will easily appear in the hashtag results for the low use tags, gain some engagements, start to appear for higher ones and up and up. 
      • Hashtag ladders can make it so one in every 4-5 posts you make go viral, getting 2-10x their normal engagement and giving you massive follower growth.  
        • Here is an example hashtag ladder! 

      STEP 5. Find the Insta-Junkies 

       

      • If you have time to sit on Instagram all day liking and commenting on photos, you need to thoroughly inspect your life choices up to this point..Instead, you should only be interacting with users that are the MOST likely to become followers. Lucky for you, it’s easy to find them! 
      • You should find some large influencer accounts that are posting the same type of content as you, then you see who has commented on these posts, and do the following:
        • Like their comment.
        • Follow them
        • Like 2-3 of their recent posts.
        • View their stories.
        • Maybe leave a comment on one. 
      • This will send a load of notifications to that account, encouraging them to look at your account. If you do this for 30 minutes a day, you’ll start to get followers that engage with your content, making the hashtag ladders work even better.  

      STEP 6. Talk to your audience! 

       

      • This point is so simple, and so powerful. In whatever way you can, you should ask your audience what their biggest challenge is. Add it to captions of your Instagram posts, maybe make a freebie guide to get people on your email list and include it in your first email. 
      • If you can gather from your audience, in their words, what they think the problem is, you can communicate more effectively with them, as well as sell them things they actually want. 
        • For example, I added “What’s your biggest challenge” to the first email my visitors were sent, and out of 100+ replies, there were only 7 different challenges. 7! 5 challenges made up 90% of them. 
        • Understanding these, I made a popup that called out the top 5 and it did 700% better than my old one. That means that one change ended up getting 7 times as many people to my fitness program page, and made me 7 times the money. One change! 
        • Here’s an example of a client doing the same and getting similar results:

       

      STEP 7. start making money from day 1. 

       

      • Here’s another big point, you can make money straight away. The bio links in your Instagram accounts could go to Amazon products that you think will help and you can make a commission in their partner program. Loads of companies offer “affiliate” programs that work in the same way; if you send a user that makes a sale, you get a cut. Even Airbnb has a credit scheme so you can start to build up free stays in awesome villas etc if you send people. 
      • Spent some time looking for affiliate offers that your audience wants, they can be added to your bio link, or linked in a popup like the one shown above. 
      • Don’t waste the initial follower growth your accounts get, it’s almost entirely new followers that click through your bio link, so have something they can buy. 
      • Bonus: When you’ve found out your audiences biggest challenges, create an information product to solve all of those and sell it with Shopify or WooCommerce. People will pay $50-100 for an information product if you save them a load of research time.  
        • This is exactly what I did with my fitness business, I started off sending people to Amazon workout programs, and then created my own based on all of the biggest problems people faced, selling for $37. 
        • These information products combined with Instagram and Pinterest marketing made me $5,000-$12,500 per month while I was traveling! 

      These honestly are my most powerful strategies. Yes, they’re stripped back, but this post is already long without me adding in an extra 200 pages (not an exaggeration). 😶 

      They work, and if you take these away and put them into action, you will see results. 

      With that said, there is a massive amount of extra detail needed in order to automate and scale this system in a safe way that doesn’t end up getting you banned or even in legal trouble.  

      On that note, I’d like to welcome you, to what is allegedly the sales pitch for my full; “dominate social media, make internet money, have loads of free time and in general be a fucking badass” courses; Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin.

      These courses cover EVERYTHING I know, step-by-step for these platforms. These are exact, refined strategies that made me $250,000 in 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time. 

      If your next move is to recoil in horror, I might add that as you’ve been reading this far, you might also find the rest of this post amusing? Reading it doesn’t commit you to anything, right? 

      If you’re feeling something along the lines of:

      Then might I add, “1. Hold that thought and 2. Steady on now, you don’t even know what you’re buying, yet.”

      The strategies in these training courses are tested in a large number of niches and will work in any.

      They’re only the best, most effective, most refined techniques I’ve found after years of trial and error, all built upon each other to guarantee success.  

      I used a WORSE version of this training (you don’t have to make all the mistakes and do all of the testing I did) to go from broke and alone in a shit flat in Birmingham, so miserable I had a mind-melting but brief depressive breakdown…. to making thousands per month, working just a few hours, having the time of my life adventuring around the World, and making six figures on my business sale, in 18 months!

      Sooooo, why are there two different courses?

       

      Well, 1. Insta Ballin has a super detailed (but still step-by-step) formula that took 178 pages for me to walk through. It’s powerful and no one is doing this, but there are lots of nuances. Pinterest is much more streamlined, meaning I could cover everything in a shapely 83 pages 😅

      Aaaaaand, unfortunately: 2. Because despite Pinterest having made me 2x the cash that Instagram has, no one cares about being awesome with Pinterest.  

      Pinterest is insanely powerful, and that’s in part because there’s so little competition. People don’t think it works, so they don’t use it.

      So while you’re grabbing Insta Ballin to make crazy cash as well as live that influencer life via The Gram, I suggest you also grab Pinterest Pimpin as well.

      It’s always great to have multiple strong traffic sources. At some point the world will catch on to the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is clearly a scaly reptilian alien wearing a human skin, making Instagram implode:

      See, just casually drinking water, like any normal human, sip, sip….

      Also, it’ll likely make you more money and take less time to keep on top of. 

      So here we are. I’m throwing caution to the wind, promising you the world with reckless abandon, praying you’ll summon the courage to join me on this maverick journey.

      And by “join me on this maverick journey”, I mean “hand me your hard earned money as soon as possible without hesitation.”

      Ok. Enough frivolity for the moment, I guess I should tell you what these courses are all about:

      These honestly are my most powerful strategies. Yes, they’re stripped back, but this post is already long without me adding in an extra 200 pages (not an exaggeration). 😶 

      They work, and if you take these away and put them into action, you will see results. 

      With that said, there is a massive amount of extra detail needed in order to automate and scale this system in a safe way that doesn’t end up getting you banned or even in legal trouble.  

      On that note, I’d like to welcome you, to what is allegedly the sales pitch for my full; “dominate social media, make internet money, have loads of free time and in general be a fucking badass” courses; Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin.

      These courses cover EVERYTHING I know, step-by-step for these platforms. These are exact, refined strategies that made me $250,000 in 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time. 

      If your next move is to recoil in horror, I might add that as you’ve been reading this far, you might also find the rest of this post amusing? Reading it doesn’t commit you to anything, right? 

      If you’re feeling something along the lines of:

      Then might I add, “1. Hold that thought and 2. Steady on now, you don’t even know what you’re buying, yet 😏.”

      The strategies in these training courses are tested in a large number of niches and will work in any.

      They’re only the best, most effective, most refined techniques I’ve found after years of trial and error, all built upon each other to guarantee success.  

      I used a WORSE version of this training (you don’t have to make all the mistakes and do all of the testing I did) to go from broke and alone in a shit flat in Birmingham, so miserable I had a mind-melting but brief depressive breakdown…. to making thousands per month, working just a few hours, having the time of my life adventuring around the World, and making six figures on my business sale, in 18 months!

      Sooooo, why are there two different courses?

       

      Well, 1. Insta Ballin has a super detailed (but still step-by-step) formula that took 178 pages for me to walk through. It’s powerful and no one is doing this, but there are lots of nuances. Pinterest is much more streamlined, meaning I could cover everything in a shapely 83 pages 😅

      Aaaaaand, unfortunately: 2. Because despite Pinterest having made me 2x the cash that Instagram has, no one cares about being awesome with Pinterest.  

      Pinterest is insanely powerful, and that’s in part because there’s so little competition. People don’t think it works, so they don’t use it.

      So while you’re grabbing Insta Ballin to make crazy cash as well as live that influencer life via The Gram, I suggest you also grab Pinterest Pimpin as well.

      It’s always great to have multiple strong traffic sources. At some point the world will catch on to the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is clearly a scaly reptilian alien wearing a human skin, making Instagram implode:

      See, just casually drinking water, like any normal human, sip, sip….

      Also, it’ll likely make you more money and take less time to keep on top of.

      So here we are. I’m throwing caution to the wind, promising you the world with reckless abandon, praying you’ll summon the courage to join me on this maverick journey.

      And by “join me on this maverick journey”, I mean “hand me your hard earned money as soon as possible without hesitation.”

      Ok. Enough frivolity for the moment, I guess I should tell you what these courses are all about:

      Insta Ballin

      1. IDENTIFY INFLUENCE

      Great artists steal. We dive into the platform, using a simple hack to uncover all of the top players. We pull apart every advantage they have and plug these into every part of our strategy to skyrocket success.

      3. CATCHING A WHALE

      We are Ahab! I reveal how I reinvest into my Instagram strategy, literally saving months of time and generating a traffic machine. Not only will build an army of white whale accounts, but we also upgrade them, netting yet another 2x value.

      5. PERMISSION AUTOPILOT

      If you’ve got to this point and your sphincter is thoroughly puckered, that’s because you’ve been reminded that we’re going to run multiple Instagram accounts, and there’s just no way you can keep on top of all that content.

      Well let me reassure you, it will be tens or hundreds of accounts.

      Relaxed now?

      You should be because I have strategies to generate an unlimited amount of top-tier quality for your accounts, all legal, all on autopilot.

      2. SWARM TACTICS

      This trick allowed me 20x the value of my Instagram account. Learn how to channel the swarm, automating numerous Instagram accounts to test all of the content in a niche at once. Once we’re sure of the most valuable audience, we can strike!

      4. HASHTAG LADDERS

      My oldest and still one of my most powerful strategies. This is how to use hashtags the right way! We look at exactly how I find and more importantly, structure,  the most powerful hashtags so that your posts go viral. What’s more, the massive engagement your content gets will protect your accounts against pesky algorithm changes.

      6. THE CONTENT LOOP

      Do you love spending inordinate hours of your day posting content? Or sacrificing half a day each weekend to schedule content?

      No. You don’t.

      So let’s never do that again. We combine the most engaging content, in beautifully branded feeds, with 100% autopilot posting. That’s right, you’ll never need to post or even schedule content when you do this.

      7. TRIBE BEACON

      So you’ve got a huge network of accounts, all pumping out that Heisenberg grade content, next up you need to get that in front of the hardcore Insta junkies.

      We use our research to get our content-crack in front of the most engaged people in your niche, giving your accounts massive engagement, growth, and clicks.

      8. GUARANTEED VIRAL

      Finally, we look at how I get an unreasonable amount of growth from my accounts. This training covers all of the ways you overcome the algorithm to grow at thousands, to hundreds of thousands of followers, PER DAY. If you pull these off right, you can launch an entire brand overnight.

      Insta Ballin

      1. IDENTIFY INFLUENCE

      Great artists steal. We dive into the platform, using a simple hack to uncover all of the top players. We pull apart every advantage they have and plug these into every part of our strategy to skyrocket success.

      2. SWARM TACTICS

      This trick allowed me 20x the value of my Instagram account. Learn how to channel the swarm, creating numerous Instagram accounts to test all of the content in a niche at once. Once we’re sure of the most valuable audience, we can strike!

      3. CATCHING A WHALE

      We are Ahab! I reveal how I reinvest into my Instagram strategy, literally saving months of time and generating a traffic machine. Not only will build an army of white whale accounts, but we also upgrade them, netting yet another 2x value.

      4. HASHTAG LADDERS

      My oldest and still one of my most powerful strategies. This is how to use hashtags the right way! We look at exactly how I find and more importantly, structure,  the most powerful hashtags so that your posts go viral. What’s more, the massive engagement your content gets will protect your accounts against pesky algorithm changes.

      5. PERMISSION AUTOPILOT

      If you’ve got to this point and your sphincter is thoroughly puckered, that’s because you’ve been reminded that we’re going to run multiple Instagram accounts, and there’s just no way you can keep on top of all that content.

      Well let me reassure you, it will be tens or hundreds of accounts.

      Relaxed now?

      You should be because I have strategies to generate an unlimited amount of top-tier quality for your accounts, all legal, all on autopilot.

      6. THE CONTENT LOOP

      Do you love spending inordinate hours of your day posting content? Or sacrificing half a day each weekend to schedule content?

      No. You don’t.

      So let’s never do that again. We combine the most engaging content, in beautifully branded feeds, with 100% autopilot posting. That’s right, you’ll never need to post or even schedule content when you do this.

      7. TRIBE BEACON

      So you’ve got a huge network of accounts, all pumping out that Heisenberg grade content, next up you need to get that in front of the hardcore Insta junkies.

      We use our research to get our content-coke in front of the most engaged people in your niche, giving your accounts massive engagement, growth, and clicks.

      8. GUARANTEED VIRAL

      Finally, we look at how I get an unreasonable amount of growth from my accounts. This training covers all of the ways you overcome the algorithm to grow at thousands, to hundreds of thousands of followers, PER DAY. If you pull these off right, you can launch an entire brand overnight.

      Pinterest Pimpin

      1. LOCATE THE WINNERS  

      A cunning plan to dissect Pinterest and it’s top performers. We’ll disassemble the ruling class and plot our meteoric rise to replace them. This initial scouting saves us literally weeks of wasted effort.

       

      3. UNLIMITED CONTENT

      Posting content is for pleasure…..and robots…. .but not pleasure-robots 🙄..  If you want hoards of traffic, we’ll need to subjugate those conniving machines.

      We run through the most powerful software and content strategy to entirely automate your Pinterest account. That’s it. When you’ve done this, you don’t need to find any more content to repin. EVER.

       

      5. REVEAL THE ELITE

      We cover the secret extra tool I use to DOMINATE Pinterest. I reveal the tool that can find the top 0.1%, MOST-VIRAL content in your niche. We then draw inspiration from this to ensure our content out-performs all competition from day one!

       

      7. THE MOST VIRAL

      Now for the most exciting bit!

      More. Damn. Data.

      Now we’ve learned what the most powerful content for our niche on all of Pinterest. We poke and prod it, searching for squishy bits. When the soft underbelly is revealed, we strike 🐍, annihilating it with a perfectly engineered storm of content the likes of which the world has never seen!

      Got a little carried away* there… anyway… we learn exactly what traits contribute to the perfect pin, and we improve upon it.

      Wild.

      *and perhaps aroused…

      2. PROFILE PERFECTION

      Prepare to pull together the Frankenstein’s Monster of Pinterest perfection! We put our glorious data to use, building an irresistible profile from the get-go.

       

      4. AUTOPILOT FOLLOWERS

      Silly robots, did you think we were done with you… To unleash a viral torrent of traffic, you first need to quickly gain an audience of seeders. We cover the best strategy to attract power users that promote your content so you don’t have to. Once again, we set this up once and it runs forever.

       

      6. RECRUIT THE CROWD

      Rapidly access massive additional audiences to explode your content across the four corners of the internet, before you even have your own following. Combo-wombo-bombo: We also repurpose and automate this into the fastest way to grow a following on the platform – no exceptions 💥

       

       

      8. HEADLINE HYPERDRIVE

      Are we satisfied just dominating the niche?

      NO!

      We learn how to make our pins perform even better! Understand the subtle art of poking people’s monkey brains. We pull apart how to create the most powerful headlines for your blog posts and pins, boosting their viral potential well over 9000.

       

      9. TRAFFICPOCALYPSE NOW

      Defcon 1 initiated.

      We pull together all of this arcane knowledge to create monstrously viral content that unleashes a tidal wave of traffic to your website. We build a super simple system, allowing you to easily automate everything.

      Get ready for the fun! How do thousands of clicks a day on autopilot sound?

      Grab your margarita, give Danika a call, you’re officially a Pinterest Pimp 😉

      Pinterest Pimpin

      1. LOCATE THE WINNERS  

      A cunning plan to dissect Pinterest and it’s top performers. We’ll disassemble the ruling class and plot our meteoric rise to replace them. This initial scouting saves us literally weeks of wasted effort.

      2. PROFILE PERFECTION

      Prepare to pull together the peerless Frankenstein’s Monster of Pinterest perfection! We put our glorious data to use, building an irresistible profile from the get-go.

      3. UNLIMITED CONTENT

      Posting content is for pleasure…..and robots…. .but not pleasure-robots 🙄..  If you want hoards of traffic, we’ll need to subjugate those conniving machines.

      We run through the most powerful software and content strategy to entirely automate your Pinterest account. That’s it. When you’ve done this, you don’t need to find any more content to repin. EVER.

      4. AUTOPILOT FOLLOWERS

      Silly robots, did you think we were done with you… To unleash a viral torrent of traffic, you first need to quickly gain an audience of seeders. We cover the best strategy to attract power users that promote your content so you don’t have to. Once again, we set this up once and it runs forever.

      5. REVEAL THE ELITE

      We cover the secret extra tool I use to DOMINATE Pinterest. I reveal the tool that can find the top 0.1%, MOST-VIRAL content in your niche. We then draw inspiration from this to ensure our content out-performs all competition from day one!

      6. RECRUIT THE CROWD

      Rapidly access massive additional audiences to explode your content across the four corners of the internet, before you even have your own following. Combo-wombo-bombo: We also repurpose and automate this into the fastest way to grow a following on the platform – no exceptions 💥

      7. THE MOST VIRAL

      Now for the most exciting bit!

      More. Damn. Data.

      Now we’ve learned what the most powerful content for our niche on all of Pinterest. We poke and prod it, searching for squishy bits. When the soft underbelly is revealed, we strike 🐍, annihilating it with a perfectly engineered storm of content the likes of which the world has never seen!

      Got a little carried away* there… anyway… we learn exactly what traits contribute to the perfect pin, and we improve upon it.

      Wild.

      *and perhaps aroused…  

      8. HEADLINE HYPERDRIVE

      Are we satisfied just dominating the niche?

      NO!

      We learn how to make our pins perform even better! Understand the subtle art of poking people’s monkey brains. We pull apart how to create the most powerful headlines for your blog posts and pins, boosting their viral potential well over 9000.

      9. TRAFFICPOCALYPSE NOW

      Defcon 1 initiated.

      We pull together all of this arcane knowledge to create monstrously viral content that unleashes a tidal wave of traffic to your website. We build a super simple system, allowing you to easily automate everything.

      Get ready for the fun! How do thousands of clicks a day on autopilot sound?

      Grab your margarita, give Danika a call, you’re officially a Pinterest Pimp 😉

      but there’s no way this will work for me! 

       

      Incorrect. 

      Try again please.

      These platforms are so massive, your audience is on there. 

      And if for some insane reason they weren’t, that doesn’t mean you can’t build an audience and then find something to sell to them. 

      You want money and freedom of time. There are lots of ways to achieve that. 

      To back this up, I have shared many of these techniques with friends and coaching clients, and admittedly to some personal surprise, it fucking works!

       

      Here’s some of the cool shit they’ve been able to achieve with my help, in yoga, mental health and just general money making 😎. Only one is cunningly fabricated, but I’ll let you stretch your noir sleuthing skills:

      My business was started as a part-time venture, while I worked a corporate job and traveled the world as I built it. My time is valuable to me and I’ve had severely limited finances to invest in ads or fancy marketing ideas.

      As I built an online membership and products, I knew I needed to start implementing marketing practices. I finally reached out to Connor to try his methods. When I started at the beginning of April 2018, I had a meager email list of 150 people. My website views only averaged at 1,000 views a month and my Pinterest was at about 35,000 monthly views.

      Within a few months of easy work with Connor, my website views began averaging 17,000 views per month and my Pinterest is at a shocking 3,000,000 monthly views.

      I’ve also been able to grow my email list to 4,000 dedicated readers.

      The numbers are impressive, but what is even better is the simplicity of it all. Most marketers I have talked to told me that I would need to invest much more time and money into ad creation to make my business grow. I can proudly say that I haven’t spent a dime on advertising. Everything I’ve built has been done organically! 

      After seeing such success with my Pinterest growth, I have slowly been implementing some of Connor’s Instagram practices in the last quarter of 2018. Again, the results continue to amaze me. I spent limited time on the platform, but continue to grow my @theremoteyogi account by 50-100 followers a day and should cross 10,000 soon!

      Taryn Raine

      Founder, theremoteyogi.blog

      With Connor’s help, I’ve gone from having no social media presence to becoming one of the biggest influencers in mental health on Instagram with over 36,000 followers on @HowMental, in just one year. He is methodical and kind – and won’t get upset if you don’t follow his advice to a T (even though you know you really should!). I’m amazed at just how many amazing connections this has helped me to create in my industry – I now get into every single event I want – and I have to thank Connor for that.

      George Taktak

      Founder, Feeliom & HowMental

      I don’t over exaggerate when I say prior to working through Connors strategies I was literally a social media caveman – as in no personal FB, IG, Pinterest, Snapchat, Twitter etc.

      I was the definition of clueless and to be honest uninterested, seeing social media as pure procrastination.

      The fact that I was that ignorant now annoys me, knowing what I know now when I ran my first business would have seen us become a major player in our space. However I now run over 100 social media accounts, and work with numerous clients and brands, all from these strategies. The beauty of them are they’re infinitely scalable. I grow my accounts by 1000s of followers per month, and total over 100,000 followers, all while spending under 10 hours per month to make that happen.

      Regarding the man himself, Connor is meticulous in his working and testing on social media – a kind of davinci genius/mad savant. If it’s; possible, can be tested, and can work, he knows about it. If you’re serious about building something, I know he’ll be overjoyed to help.

      Zac Garton

      Connor’s an uber-awesome dude and is 100% responsible for my current success and happiness. He’s super clever and handsome and lovely. I’ve given him ALL of my money. I think your best move is to do the same.

      Connor McCreesh

      A previous mentor of mine; Vin Clancy, is the most well known Growth-Hacker in the world.

      He knows the best marketers in the world for EVERY platform. He lives in LA in the heart of everything social media and influencers.

      My point is, he know’s his shit, and here’s what he had to say about me and my marketing techniques:

      On my Instagram Hashtag Ladders strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “The surprising truth behind dependable, REAL Instagram growth (no follow/unfollow bullsh**) from people in your target niche who will be extremely eager to buy from you (Courtesy of a friend of mine who travels the world making a HUGE living from a single Instagram account)”

      On my Pinterest strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “Peek behind the scenes of the ONLY KNOWN strategy on the entire internet to go from 0-10,000 unique visits a day on Pinterest (any niche)…and use this “strange” method to get a constant flow of traffic to your site guaranteed!”

      Vin Clancy

      Author of “Secret Sauce: A step-by-step guide to growth hacking”. Founder of Magnific, Planet Ivy, Screen Robot.

      BUT THERE’S NO WAY THIS WILL WORK FOR ME! 

       

      Incorrect. 

      Try again please.

      These platforms are so massive, your audience is on there. 

      And if for some insane reason they weren’t, that doesn’t mean you can’t build an audience and then find something to sell to them. 

      You want money and freedom of time. There are lots of ways to achieve that. 

      To back this up, I have shared many of these techniques with friends and coaching clients, and admittedly to some personal surprise, it fucking works!

      Here’s some of the cool shit they’ve been able to achieve with my help, in yoga, mental health and just general money making 😎. Only one is cunningly fabricated, but I’ll let you stretch your noir sleuthing skills:

      My business was started as a part-time venture, while I worked a corporate job and traveled the world as I built it. My time is valuable to me and I’ve had severely limited finances to invest in ads or fancy marketing ideas.

      As I built an online membership and products, I knew I needed to start implementing marketing practices. I finally reached out to Connor to try his methods. When I started at the beginning of April 2018, I had a meager email list of 150 people. My website views only averaged at 1,000 views a month and my Pinterest was at about 35,000 monthly views.

      Within a few months of easy work with Connor, my website views began averaging 17,000 views per month and my Pinterest is at a shocking 3,000,000 monthly views.

      I’ve also been able to grow my email list to 4,000 dedicated readers.

      The numbers are impressive, but what is even better is the simplicity of it all. Most marketers I have talked to told me that I would need to invest much more time and money into ad creation to make my business grow. I can proudly say that I haven’t spent a dime on advertising. Everything I’ve built has been done organically! 

      After seeing such success with my Pinterest growth, I have slowly been implementing some of Connor’s Instagram practices in the last quarter of 2018. Again, the results continue to amaze me. I spent limited time on the platform, but continue to grow my @theremoteyogi account by 50-100 followers a day and should cross 10,000 soon!

      Taryn Raine

      Founder, theremoteyogi.blog

      With Connor’s help, I’ve gone from having no social media presence to becoming one of the biggest influencers in mental health on Instagram with over 36,000 followers on @HowMental, in just one year. He is methodical and kind – and won’t get upset if you don’t follow his advice to a T (even though you know you really should!). I’m amazed at just how many amazing connections this has helped me to create in my industry – I now get into every single event I want – and I have to thank Connor for that.

      George Taktak

      Founder, Feeliom & HowMental

      I don’t over exaggerate when I say prior to working through Connors strategies I was literally a social media caveman – as in no personal FB, IG, Pinterest, Snapchat, Twitter etc.

      I was the definition of clueless and to be honest uninterested, seeing social media as pure procrastination.

      The fact that I was that ignorant now annoys me, knowing what I know now when I ran my first business would have seen us become a major player in our space. However I now run over 100 social media accounts, and work with numerous clients and brands, all from these strategies. The beauty of them are they’re infinitely scalable. I grow my accounts by 1000s of followers per month, and total over 100,000 followers, all while spending under 10 hours per month to make that happen.

      Regarding the man himself, Connor is meticulous in his working and testing on social media – a kind of davinci genius/mad savant. If it’s; possible, can be tested, and can work, he knows about it. If you’re serious about building something, I know he’ll be overjoyed to help.

      Zac Garton

      Connor’s an uber-awesome dude and is 100% responsible for my current success and happiness. He’s super clever and handsome and lovely. I’ve given him ALL of my money. I think your best move is to do the same.

      Connor McCreesh

      A PREVIOUS MENTOR OF MINE; VIN CLANCY, IS THE MOST WELL KNOWN GROWTH-HACKER IN THE WORLD.

      He knows the best marketers in the world for EVERY platform. He lives in LA in the heart of everything social media and influencers.

      My point is, he know’s his shit, and here’s what he had to say about my marketing techniques, as well as featuring me in a post along side the likes of Gretta Ven Riel, Dan Meredith, Charlie Price, Josh Fletcher, Gallant Dill and more (Google them, all are social media giants, many with multiple 7-figure successes).

      On my Instagram Hashtag Ladders strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “The surprising truth behind dependable, REAL Instagram growth (no follow/unfollow bullsh**) from people in your target niche who will be extremely eager to buy from you (Courtesy of a friend of mine who travels the world making a HUGE living from a single Instagram account)”

      On my Pinterest strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “Peek behind the scenes of the ONLY KNOWN strategy on the entire internet to go from 0-10,000 unique visits a day on Pinterest (any niche)…and use this “strange” method to get a constant flow of traffic to your site guaranteed!”

      Vin Clancy

      Author of “Secret Sauce: A step-by-step guide to growth hacking”. Founder of Magnific, Planet Ivy, Screen Robot, WorldsBestAgency.

      Bonus: Lifetime access and free updates to the course.

      Yep I know, seems like grasping for straws as a “bonus”, but, you’d be wrong.

      This course is CURRENTLY delivered as an ebook.

       

      Well why the hell isn’t it an in-depth video course, delivered by an interactive chatbot that has a direct line to you, so we can shoot over any questions or ideas as they arise?”

       

      You politely inquire.

      Well, it’s funny you should ask, as that’s exactly what I have planned.

      Alas, my spirit animal is a potato.

      So that sounds like a terrifying amount of work to get done in one go, so bone-chilling in fact, that I’d likely keep putting it off in favor of all the exciting travel adventures I have thrust upon me weekly.

      Lucky for you, I’ve made a compromise:

      • I’ll make the entire contents of the course as an ebook.
      • I’ll sell it at a discount.
      • When I make the revised version(s), which will be more expensive, I’ll give a free upgrade to anyone that purchased an earlier version.

      There’s no reason for you to wait on this, it will get more expensive, and whilst you wait, more people will be using these strategies to take advantage of all the easy wins still open on Instagram and Pinterest.

      WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE PRICE, CONNOR?!? I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY.”

      Oh wow 😶, could you watch that language please…

      Bonus: Lifetime access and free updates to the course.

      Yep I know, seems like grasping for straws as a “bonus”, but, you’d be wrong.

      This course is CURRENTLY delivered as an ebook.

       

      Well why the hell isn’t it an in-depth video course, delivered by an interactive chatbot that has a direct line to you, so we can shoot over any questions or ideas as they arise?”

       

      You politely inquire.

      Well, it’s funny you should ask, as that’s exactly what I have planned.

      Alas, my spirit animal is a potato.

      So that sounds like a terrifying amount of work to get done in one go, so bone-chilling in fact, that I’d likely keep putting it off in favor of all the exciting travel adventures I have thrust upon me weekly.

      Lucky for you, I’ve made a compromise:

      • I’ll make the entire contents of the course as an ebook.
      • I’ll sell it at a discount.
      • When I make the revised version(s), which will be more expensive, I’ll give a free upgrade to anyone that purchased an earlier version.

      There’s no reason for you to wait on this, it will get more expensive, and whilst you wait, more people will be using these strategies to take advantage of all the easy wins still open on Instagram and Pinterest.

      WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE PRICE, CONNOR?!? I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY.”

      Oh wow 😶, could you watch that language please…

      I’m not joking when I say these are valued at at least $130,000, that’s how much I made using these methods in the 18 months I ran my fitness business. What’s more, I spent a lot of that time figuring this stuff out and trialling things that didn’t work, so it’s arguably worth more.

       

      ON TOP OF THAT – I then made an extra $120,000 selling the business, so arguably the total value here is $¼ million. Lots of people make up some bullshit value for their training, mine’s backed up with real numbers.

       

      Pinterest Pimpin and Insta Ballin are full A-Z guides. Everything you need to know is included so you can go from zero to knowing everything I know for these platforms. It took a lot of time and effort to pull this together into a coherent, step-by-step training. 

        

      Most important for you: If I gave it for free, you wouldn’t do it. If you’re this far down the page, you already know you need to buy this, you’re just trying to rationalize a smart reason not to.

       

      So let me sum it up for you: YOU WILL NOT FIND MORE VALUABLE TRAINING ON THESE PLATFORMS.

      ANYWHERE.

      If you don’t pay, you won’t throw yourself into making these work.

      You know it.

      I know it.

      So give me your money, do the training, let me know if you’re having issues. ([email protected] or @connor.mccreesh)

      I’ll make you a success if it’s the last fucking thing I do.

      I’m not joking when I say these are valued at at least $130,000, that’s how much I made using these methods in the 18 months I ran my fitness business. What’s more, I spent a lot of that time figuring this stuff out and trialling things that didn’t work, so it’s arguably worth more.

       

      ON TOP OF THAT – I then made an extra $120,000 selling the business, so arguably the total value here is $¼ million. Lots of people make up some bullshit value for their training, mine’s backed up with real numbers.

       

      Pinterest Pimpin and Insta Ballin are full A-Z guides. Everything you need to know is included so you can go from zero to knowing everything I know for these platforms. It took a lot of time and effort to pull this together into a coherent, step-by-step training. 

        

      Most important for you: If I gave it for free, you wouldn’t do it. If you’re this far down the page, you already know you need to buy this, you’re just trying to rationalise a smart reason not to.

      So let me sum it up for you: YOU WILL NOT FIND MORE VALUABLE TRAINING ON THESE PLATFORMS.

      ANYWHERE.

      If you don’t pay, you won’t throw yourself into making these work.

      You know it.

      I know it.

      So give me your money, do the training, let me know if you’re having issues. ([email protected] or @connor.mccreesh)

      I’ll make you a success if it’s the last fucking thing I do.

      How About I Pay You?

       

      You heard me….

      I am so confident that these are the most powerful, most effective, and most repeatable strategies you can find for success on Instagram and Pinterest, that I will not only refund anyone that can’t make this work, I’ll double your money.

      If you can’t get massive results within 6 months, I’ll refund you 2x what you paid.

      Makes this all seem a little more like an intelligence test, doesn’t it?

      oooo, gold internet badge, now I’m convinced…

      That’s my 6 month guarantee.

      For the craftier amongst you, you know, the ones that will claim to have accidentally bought this, after spending close to an hour reading a pitchy blog post about it….

      Yes, to you, you get my full 30 days, no questions asked refund. I mean, I may ask, “You’re seriously trying that line after I explicitly called it out in the post that you’re pretending you didn’t read….?”

      But otherwise, no questions. What can I say, I’m a hardcore adrenaline junkie willing to take any risk for a sweet fix.

      How About I Pay You?

       

      You heard me….

      I am so confident that these are the most powerful, most effective, and most repeatable strategies you can find for success on Instagram and Pinterest, that I will not only refund anyone that can’t make this work, I’ll double your money.

      If you can’t get massive results within 6 months, I’ll refund you 2x what you paid.

      Makes this all seem a little more like an intelligence test, doesn’t it?

      oooo, gold internet badge, now I’m convinced…

      That’s my 6 month guarantee.

      For the craftier amongst you, you know, the ones that will claim to have accidentally bought this, after spending close to an hour reading a pitchy blog post about it….

      Yes, to you, you get my full 30 days, no questions asked refund. I mean, I may ask, “You’re seriously trying that line after I explicitly called it out in the post that you’re pretending you didn’t read….?”

      But otherwise, no questions. What can I say, I’m a hardcore adrenaline junkie willing to take any risk for a sweet fix.

      WARNING: Do Not Buy This Training If:

       

      1. You glean a deep sense of meaning from smiling dutifully at yet another of your supervisors, witless jokes.
      1. You think that laughter, happiness and in any way attempting to live a fulfilling life are vastly overrated, and likely just a corporate conspiracy designed to subjugate you (likely distributed via those chemtrails).
      1. You enjoy training that confronts you with a bewildering panoply of nifty account suggestions and ideas, instead of getting a step by step, “idiot-proof” formula that even Danika would have a hard time fucking up.
      1. You think that any level of work is just all too much, preferring to “make the smart bet”, sit on your fat ass, and exclaim that “The Bitcoin price will bounce back any day now and I’ll be rich”, without a hint of parody.

      You should probably buy this product if:

       

      1. You’re not an insufferable tosser like the one described above.

      2. The unbearable torment of following your parents sound career advice is finally too much and you’re ready to strike out on your own, finally working towards a life YOU want.

      3. You want a system that can make you money while you fill your time with fun stuff, you know; climbing mountains, learning to salsa, or sitting in your clauset wearing a tin foil hat and munching on gummy worms.

      4. You want to get an utterly unfair advantage over all the competition by using uniquely powerful and scalable strategies.

      WARNING: Do Not Buy This Training If:

       

      1. You glean a deep sense of meaning from smiling dutifully at yet another of your supervisors, witless jokes.
      1. You think that laughter, happiness and in any way attempting to live a fulfilling life are vastly overrated, and likely just a corporate conspiracy designed to subjugate you (likely distributed via those chemtrails).
      1. You enjoy training that confronts you with a bewildering panoply of nifty account suggestions and ideas, instead of getting a step by step, “idiot-proof” formula that even Danika would have a hard time fucking up.
      1. You think that any level of work is just all too much, preferring to “make the smart bet”, sit on your fat ass, and exclaim that “The Bitcoin price will bounce back any day now and I’ll be rich”, without a hint of parody.

      You should probably buy this product if:

       

      1. You’re not an insufferable tosser like the one described above.

      2. The unbearable torment of following your parents sound career advice is finally too much and you’re ready to strike out on your own, finally working towards a life YOU want.

      3. You want a system that can make you money while you fill your time with fun stuff, you know; climbing mountains, learning to salsa, or sitting in your clauset wearing a tin foil hat and munching on gummy worms.

      4. You want to get an utterly unfair advantage over all the competition by using uniquely powerful and scalable strategies.

      ALERT! BUY SOON, OR ELSE BAD THING WILL HAPPEN!

       

       

      I’ve NEVER released these strategies in a form vaguely as comprehensive

      Right fucking now, is the easiest time you’ll have making a crazy success of this. The more people that are trying this, the more competition it will be and the harder you’ll have to work to crush it. So may as well get in early, get a massive head start and be the leader in your niche.

      Also, I’m going to increase the price.

      Not in like a pretend internet countdown type way. Like ooo, if you don’t buy in three days the price will double because an international information embargo is about to come into effect and I’ll have to start paying to copy-paste the files….

      No, I’ll double the price as in soon I rework the program into an interactive video course because it will take me an ungodly amount of time and effort to do (again, buying now gets a free upgrade to that).

      This could be in a few weeks or a few months, I don’t know, I get distracted eas…

       

      Sorry, what?

      Anyway, you’ve got two choices:

      1. Waste like an hour of your life reading this whole blog post, reassure yourself that not only have you got the time, but also the inclination to figure all of this shit out yourself, and then spend $297 for a therapist to listen to you whine about how you didn’t really want to change your life.

      Or…

      1. Steal all of my painstakingly developed strategies and secrets, and start creating your most awesome life within weeks.

      Think about where you want to be in 6 months. It happened for me, it can happen for you as well.

      ALERT! BUY SOON, OR ELSE BAD THING WILL HAPPEN!

       

       

      I’ve NEVER released these strategies in a form vaguely as comprehensive

      Right fucking now, is the easiest time you’ll have making a crazy success of this. The more people that are trying this, the more competition it will be and the harder you’ll have to work to crush it. So may as well get in early, get a massive head start and be the leader in your niche.

      Also, I’m going to increase the price.

      Not in like a pretend internet countdown type way. Like ooo, if you don’t buy in three days the price will double because an international information embargo is about to come into effect and I’ll have to start paying to copy-paste the files….

      No, I’ll double the price as in soon I rework the program into an interactive video course because it will take me an ungodly amount of time and effort to do (again, buying now gets a free upgrade to that).

      This could be in a few weeks or a few months, I don’t know, I get distracted eas…

       

      Sorry, what?

      Anyway, you’ve got two choices:

      1. Waste like an hour of your life reading this whole blog post, reassure yourself that not only have you got the time, but also the inclination to figure all of this shit out yourself, and then spend $297 on a therapist, to whom you’ll whine about how you didn’t really want to change your life.

      Or…

      1. Steal all of my painstakingly developed strategies and secrets, and start creating your most awesome life within weeks.

      Think about where you want to be in 6 months. It happened for me, it can happen for you as well.

      But I Have SO Many Important Questions for You…

       

      Wonderful……

      Will I have to spend more money when I buy this?

      We use a number of advanced software and these have low monthly costs (approximately $50 per month total). This software massively increases your results, cut down your time involved and honestly will pay for themselves FAST. Again, I managed all of this when I was completely broke, so it’s SUPER cash efficient.

      How Long will it take me to become a baller?

      That very much depends on how much time and intensity you direct at this! I started making money within 4-6 weeks and after 3-4 months I was making a few thousands bucks per month. I didn’t have an A-Z guide like this training and had to make a load of mistakes along the way. 

      Take a second to think about this, what were you doing one year ago, was it much different to today? 

      If you buy and do what is in these trainings, within one year I completely guarantee that you can have the time, cash and location freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, even if you have a job and can’t invest all of your days into this.

      For more backup, look over the reviews again. My friends just followed some of my advice, usually working with me for one day to get crazy results in a few months. You get absolutely every detail of my strategies in a handy format that you can constantly refer to. 

      Bro, automation will kill your Instagram account, everyone knows that.

      It may surprise you to know that for exactly the entire time I’ve been doing this, people with tiny followings have been bemoaning automation, wagging their fingers in my direction and sternly reminding me; “you’ll get blocked, and shadowbanned, and then you’ll see! Mwahahaa”.

      And for precisely as much time, I’ve been growing hundreds of massive accounts and getting none of them blocked. So, channel your finest Sherlock Holmes an deduce your answer. 

      Yes, if you’re dumb, this can happen, but I’m not. And after this training, you won’t be either.f

      But bro… you can find ANY information online. Trust me…

      After spending lots of money on training programs that rehashed readily available content, you’re forgiven for thinking that ALL great findings are indeed shared for free via the magic of the internet.

      However, you should think this, only if you enjoy being wrong.

      Free (and 90% of paid) content generally ends at an intermediate level. It’s only when you’re actually in the deep weeds of a platform, performing hundreds of tests, that you get to the really advanced stuff. If you’re making plenty of cash from performing these strategies, you have little incentive to write out and share all of your gold.

      That’s what I’ve done, and that’s what you’re paying for. That high level, pure, grade A shit.

      So if I buy this, how long do I have access?

      Forever my young padawan.

      The course is currently in an ebook format, but will soon* be updated to an interactive video course. If you buy now, you lock in the cheaper price and get the upgrade for freeeeeeeee.

      *on some timescale… hopefully not geological.

       

      There’s no more reading, just make a decision, Are you not bored of letting life pass you by?

      “But I Have SO Many Important Questions for You…”

       

      Wonderful……

      Will I have to spend more money when I buy this?

      We use a number of advanced software and these have low monthly costs (approximately $50 per month total). This software massively increases your results, cut down your time involved and honestly will pay for themselves FAST. Again, I managed all of this when I was completely broke, so it’s SUPER cash efficient.

      HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE ME TO BECOME A BALLER?

      That very much depends on how much time and intensity you direct at this! I started making money within 4-6 weeks and after 3-4 months I was making a few thousands bucks per month. I didn’t have an A-Z guide like this training and had to make a load of mistakes along the way. 

      Take a second to think about this, what were you doing one year ago, was it much different to today? 

      If you buy and do what is in these trainings, within one year I completely guarantee that you can have the time, cash and location freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, even if you have a job and can’t invest all of your days into this.

      For more backup, look over the reviews again. My friends just followed some of my advice, usually working with me for one day to get crazy results in a few months. You get absolutely every detail of my strategies in a handy format that you can constantly refer to. 

      Bro, automation will kill your Instagram account, everyone knows that.

      It may surprise you to know that for exactly the entire time I’ve been doing this, people with tiny followings have been bemoaning automation, wagging their fingers in my direction and sternly reminding me; “you’ll get blocked, and shadowbanned, and then you’ll see! Mwahahaa”.

      And for precisely as much time, I’ve been growing hundreds of massive accounts and getting none of them blocked. So, channel your finest Sherlock Holmes an deduce your answer.

      Yes, if you’re dumb, this can happen, but I’m not. And after this training, you won’t be either.f

      But bro… you can find ANY information online. Trust me…

      After spending lots of money on training programs that rehashed readily available content, you’re forgiven for thinking that ALL great findings are indeed shared for free via the magic of the internet.

      However, you should think this, only if you enjoy being wrong.

      Free (and 90% of paid) content generally ends at an intermediate level. It’s only when you’re actually in the deep weeds of a platform, performing hundreds of tests, that you get to the really advanced stuff. If you’re making plenty of cash from performing these strategies, you have little incentive to write out and share all of your gold.

      That’s what I’ve done, and that’s what you’re paying for. That high level, pure, grade A shit.

      So if I buy this, how long do I have access?

      Forever my young padawan.

      The course is currently in an ebook format, but will soon* be updated to an interactive video course. If you buy now, you lock in the cheaper price and get the upgrade for freeeeeeeee.

      *on some timescale… hopefully not geological.

       

      There’s no more reading, just make a decision, Are You Not Bored Of Letting life pass you by?

       

      P.S.

      If for some bizarre reason you’ve opted to skip reading the page, in hopes of finding some neat little summary here, well 1. You’re the worst. 2. Ughh fine:

      • These courses cover EVERYTHING you need, A-Z to get colossal amounts of traffic to your website.
      • I’m really talking a lot. You can’t not make money from this much traffic.
      • You’ll build a massive Instagram following which you can use to get free travel opportunities or pick up chicks with really skewed ideas about success in da klurb.
      • You’ll be a master of viral, able to use it to conquer other platforms.
      • You’ll achieve all of this with a system that you can automate allowing you to “work” less and have fun more.

      No catch. No gimmicks.

      If you have zero control over your impulse buying, I’ll give you a full refund within 30 days.

      If you actually intend to try the whole system, rest assured that I’m so confident it works, that I’ll double refund you if you can’t get success within 6 months.

      In 6 months you could be living your dream life, chilling in infinity pools over rice paddies in Bali, or you can still be stuck in your cold miserable flat, with your soul-destroying job, wondering “what if”.

      P.S.S

      Fuck, okay, here goes the secret weapon.

      I’ve almost exhausted my arsenal with the smug sales letter thinly veiled as a motivational blog post. If it hasn’t convinced you to buy Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin, this sure will.

      BE WARNED: This contains a litany of devious, subtle and irresistible psychological warfare tactics, guaranteed to persuade even the most resistant to cough up the cash…

       

      P.S.

      If for some bizarre reason you’ve opted to skip reading the page, in hopes of finding some neat little summary here, well 1. You’re the worst. 2. Ughh fine:

      • These courses cover EVERYTHING you need, A-Z to get colossal amounts of traffic to your website.
      • I’m really talking a lot. You can’t not make money from this much traffic.
      • You’ll build a massive Instagram following which you can use to get free travel opportunities or pick up chicks with really skewed ideas about success in da klurb.
      • You’ll be a master of viral, able to use it to conquer other platforms.
      • You’ll achieve all of this with a system that you can automate allowing you to “work” less and have fun more.

      No catch. No gimmicks.

      If you have zero control over your impulse buying, I’ll give you a full refund within 30 days.

      If you actually intend to try the whole system, rest assured that I’m so confident it works, that I’ll double refund you if you can’t get success within 6 months.

      In 6 months you could be living your dream life, chilling in infinity pools over rice paddies in Bali, or you can still be stuck in your cold miserable flat, with your soul-destroying job, wondering “what if”.

      P.S.S

      Fuck, okay, here goes the secret weapon.

      I’ve almost exhausted my arsenal with the smug sales letter thinly veiled as a motivational blog post. If it hasn’t convinced you to buy Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin, this sure will.

      BE WARNED: This contains a litany of devious, subtle and irresistible psychological warfare tactics, guaranteed to persuade even the most resistant to cough up the cash…