7 Simple Steps to Implode Your Shit Job, Empty Relationship & Parent’s Hopes for Your Future

7 Simple Steps to Implode Your Shit Job, Empty Relationship & Parent’s Hopes for Your Future

TLDR: This 40 minute post runs you through how I went from broken and severely depressed, to traveling full time using Instagram to build and sell a 6-figure business. 

It share’s my most stripped back, easy to implement, A-Z strategy for building a massive Instagram audience and actually making cash! 

 If you finish this uneducated, you’re welcome to return to your shitty life, but unfortunately not your original age. To compensate for this, I hope I’ve pulled together something that will interest and amuse you (providing you don’t take yourself too seriously).

Soooo…. If your life appears to be lacking some immediate promise, and you’d like to change that, perhaps you should stop your excuses, pull up your sleeves, and throw everything you have into this.

Then maybe…. just maybe…… you too will wake up one morning realizing you’re living the life you use to waste your time being jealous of.

 

 

When it comes to finding your success, it’s first important to check that you’re actually sure that the success you seek, will actually turn into happiness.

Answer me this;

 

What does your life look like when you’re truly happy?

 

Duh, I’m a big baller millionaire!

I have a sweet Hollywood Hills mansion. I drive a Lambo, sip margaritas in the sun on Bora Bora island, and on the weekend I pop bottles in the Bellagio, caked in Gucci clad models.

Living. The. Dream.

But are you sure it’s your dream…?

 

The harsh reality is that you’re unlikely to have the cash to just buy all of these things on a whim, so it’s worth thinking about not only what you’d spend those millions on, but also the time it would take to make those dolla dolla bills.

Are you sure the years “invested” will give this magical happiness payoff you’ve become so convinced of?

Would that $6M mansion be in a location you adore, near to people you love? Or an enormous storage locker, waiting to be filled with soulless items that you were convinced would make you much happier than they actually did (think back to your revolutionary new iPhone?)

Would that expensive garage-filler that you enjoy driving once per year on your coastal road trip really fill you with joy the remaining 345 days of the year? Or be an driven at 23 mph in order to avoid sneaky speed bumps that may disembowel it?

And the vapid, cash-obsessed models? I can guarantee that after a handful of hook-ups, you’ll quickly see these encounters are far more pleasurable to contemplate than to consummate.  

So, is there a shortcut to reveal just how wrong your goals really are?

 

The real revelation here is that you can get all of this shit out of the way now.

You don’t need to be a millionaire to see that running down a marble staircase each morning, driving a V12 powered overcompensation machine and listening to one more fucking story about “Daddy’s wonderful yacht in Monaco”, are the complete opposite of where you should be searching for happiness and fulfillment.

If you make a decent four figures each month, you can live like an absolute king almost anywhere in the world, as well as sprinkling in “baller tests” of the above experiences to demonstrate just how little lasting happiness they will bestow upon you.

So, this isn’t necessarily a post about becoming a millionaire, solving the energy crisis or becoming a New York Times bestselling author, unless that’s your thing. Hell, your calling could be to become a xylophone prodigy, or to master whittling the ultimate utensil.

No, this post is about constructing a lifestyle that not only allows you to discover what your calling may be, but to also realize that lifestyle, like now, and not when your schedule is booked full of post-meal naps, unannounced gas, and tales of “the good ol days”.

Yaay…

 

 To find your passion, your calling, what you aim to master and contribute, you first need freedom.

Freedom to work when, where, on what, and for as long as you want.

This post is about constructing the situation where you can show up every damn day filled with raging lightning, shooting laser beams from your eyes and shitting rainbows. It’s about becoming the best, most amazing version of yourself, whatever that may be to you.

“Where can I get these laser beam eyes?!?”

Well, they can be installed by making one simple change.

Let me illustrate; I often ask people the following:

“In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

To which they regale me with elaborate escapades and amazing adventures that their future selves, shall never lead.

My response is swift:

“Well, you clearly don’t really want these experiences your future self is so delighted by, as your current self it sitting here, pathetically doing ZERO to realize those delights.

What needs to change? Finding a lump? Your child dying?? Sleeping with strangers for meth money???”

As you can likely guess, this makes me quite popular at parties.

Yes I know, it’s blunt, but the fact is that almost everyone gives me some variation on:

“I just don’t have enough money, I have work and family commitments, oh and the time, there’s just no way I’d have time to do this, so who the hell invited you to my party anyway?”

Interestingly, in addition to dodging hurled daiquiris, and excluding myself from every social circle to which I’ve previously belonged, I’ve yet to hear anyone say that what they want is actually impossible.

Our world is so connected that we can’t escape the sight of a not insignificant amount of people that are in fact doing the impossible, living life on their own terms.

This fact should make it clear to you;

There’s but one simple change separating you from all the people living your wildest dreams:

 

They stop being such a whiny, little, bitch-ass.

 

That’s right, they decided to grab life by the balls, take charge, and change their lives. You, on the other hand, are still sat on your sofa, devouring cheese dip and jacking off to the thought of Danika on daddy’s Monaco yacht.

The only thing standing in your way is fear. You know it can be done, that there are plenty of hours in your day that aren’t contributing to the greatest, most badass version of yourself.

You’re just scared. Scared of committing to be better. Scared of failure. Scared of your egomaniacal, serpent-tongued mother-in-law’s smug, snide Sunday lunch comments of

“Ewhhh Finneus*…. how’s that business thing going…?”,

“Yes yes alright Susan, it’s a work in progress, politely fuck off already”.

 

*for the full effect, replace “Finneus” with your own name

Now, as scary as avoiding petrification via looking directly into Susan’s eyes seems, it’s NOWHERE NEAR as diabolical as spending years with all thoughts of your future, creativity, and happiness crushed under the sheer weight of existing in a life you somehow convinced yourself that you wanted.

Trust me.

Make the decision by choice.

Listen to the kind chancellor

 

It’s much more pleasant, and I can also promise this; greatness, fulfillment, everything you ever wanted DOES lie on the other side of that fear.

So, let’s direct my question at you. Let’s experience the world as it isn’t and has never been, but as it might be. Let’s escape today as your mind silently transports you into tomorrow…

 

“In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

 

Maybe it was something like this?

  • How about living in a beachfront penthouse in Croatia, moonlight skinny dipping with a national team pole vaulter and screaming insanities from the tower of a medieval castle on a mountaintop in the middle of a lightning storm?

  • Perhaps spelunking through the caves underneath Budapest, realizing you might “have a thing” for being smushed into tight spaces. Maybe raving in an insane thermal bath party or yachting on Hungary’s largest lake?
  • More adrenaline? How about an epic 8-day motorbike trip around the untamed north of Vietnam. Sunkissed hidden valleys, ferocious limestone mountains lined with rice paddies and somehow managing to drive your bike off a cliff.
  • Training with muay thai fighters in Thailand? Partying at the ladyboy cabaret? Diving on the most pristine reefs in the world?.. Or perhaps getting krazy krunk and making mistakes at the full-moon party?
  • Perhaps you’re looking for love? Party with the most beautiful people on the planet in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Eat the best steak. Drink the best malbec. Learn to tango... Fail to learn Spanish because you’re too distracted by the previously mentioned beautiful people.
  • Adventure in the wilds of Peru? Rip through the desert on a dune buggy to the hidden oasis town of Huacachina. Maybe spend 5 days hiking through the Andes mountains, mountain biking at 4,100m, relaxing in thermal springs and squeezing four soaking wet, fully grown men into a two-person tent, all on the way to the ancient wonder of Machu Picchu.
  • More intense? How about paintballing at Pablo Escobar’s holiday home in Colombia? Getting lost in the jungle in a thunderstorm? Repelling down a waterfall? Or staying in a floating Caribbean villa while taking romantic midnight swims in a lagoon lit up with glowing plankton?
  • Maybe you’d like some history, taking a hot air balloon the ancient temple of Teotihuacan in Mexico? Summiting a 4,700ft volcano? Training with professional luchadors in the arena? Or diving through collapsed cave cenotes on the coast?
  •  Perhaps traveling back in time? Smoke Cohiba cigars, drink mojitos in weird art gallery-night club crossovers, and race around in 1950s chevies in Havana.
  • Nature fix? Road trip from Arizona to Canada. Hike and camp in Sedona, the Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, Zion, the volcanic Crater Lake, the Giant Sequoias and Redwoods, Olympic rainforest and Banff National Park. Visit Vegas, Phoenix, San Diego, LA, San Fran, Seattle, and Vancouver.
  •  More magic? Take a midnight hike up Ijen, Java’s blue fire volcano. Take a motorbike to Bali through the mountains and towering hidden waterfalls. Fly across the sea floor with enormous manta rays.

That’s honestly a valiant effort by myself to pick just a few of the highlights from my last 18 months.

So, all of those insane experiences and more, 16 countries, all of those flights, all of the penthouses, and apartments, and exotic food, and parties, and insanity. How much do you think it all cost?

Those are a fraction of the awesome things I’ve done in the last 18 months, and it cost me:

 

Roughly $3,000 total spend per month.

 

Much less than it cost me to live in my tiny apartment in London, a city which is nice for roughly 6 weeks a year, and contains approximately zero adventure.

And if now you’re thinking “Oh Connor you’re very amusing, but I don’t have $3,000 spare”.

Know this… neither did I!

The first 12 months of my adventures and fun I made that money as I went along, and I was living like royalty. I’ve seen some of the most amazing sites in the world, immersed myself in a myriad of interesting cultures, eaten more weird foods than I can count, met hundreds of amazing people, partied my ass off.

All of this, for less money than most people make in a job they despise, living in a city they have no time to enjoy, dining on bland burgers and filling what remains of their day trying to figure out if Steven fucking Avery actually murdered that girl or not.

It’s not about the money, it’s about the freedom.

 

If you can work from wherever you want, whenever you want, on whatever you want, you’ll be surprised at just how many amazing things you can do without being a big baller millionaire, trust fund baby, or crying into a mountain of cocaine about how Danika dumped you for some arsehole with an even more overcompensatory car than you.

 

“You have my attention….. So how do I get all of these freedoms you keep banging on about?”

Why Finneus, I’m so glad you asked…

Remember my not-so dream job? That was with an Instagram software company. Whilst there I learned techniques and hacks for rapidly growing an Instagram account. When we parted ways, I started a fitness business called Transform Fitspo (I do not have a fitness or nutrition certificate of any sort), here’s how it did:

TLDR: This 40 minute post runs you through how I went from broken and severely depressed, to traveling full time using Instagram to build and sell a 6-figure business. 

It share’s my most stripped back, easy to implement, A-Z strategy for building a massive Instagram audience and actually making cash!

 If you finish this uneducated, you’re welcome to return to your shitty life, but unfortunately not your original age. To compensate for this, I hope I’ve pulled together something that will interest and amuse you (providing you don’t take yourself too seriously).

Soooo…. If your life appears to be lacking some immediate promise, and you’d like to change that, perhaps you should stop your excuses, pull up your sleeves, and throw everything you have into this.

Then maybe…. just maybe…… you too will wake up one morning realizing you’re living the life you use to waste your time being jealous of.

 

When it comes to finding your success, it’s first important to check that you’re actually sure that the success you seek, will actually turn into happiness.

Answer me this;

 

What does your life look like when you’re truly happy?

 

Duh, I’m a big baller millionaire!

I have a sweet Hollywood Hills mansion. I drive a Lambo, sip margaritas in the sun on Bora Bora island, and on the weekend I pop bottles in the Bellagio, caked in Gucci clad models.

Living. The. Dream.

But are you sure it’s your dream…?

 

 

The harsh reality is that you’re unlikely to have the cash to just buy all of these things on a whim, so it’s worth thinking about not only what you’d spend those millions on, but also the time it would take to make those dolla dolla bills.

Are you sure that your years “invested” will give this magical happiness payoff you’ve become so convinced of?

Would that $6M mansion be in a location you adore, near to people you love? Or an enormous storage locker, waiting to be filled with soulless items that you were convinced would make you much happier than they actually did (think back to your revolutionary new iPhone?).

Would that expensive garage-filler that you enjoy driving once per year on your coastal road trip really fill you with joy the remaining 345 days of the year?  Or be an driven at 23 mph in order to avoid sneaky speed bumps that may disembowel it?

And the vapid, cash-obsessed models? I can guarantee that after a handful of hook-ups, you’ll quickly see these encounters are far more pleasurable to contemplate than to consummate.  

So, is there a shortcut to reveal just how wrong your goals really are?

 

The real revelation here is that you can get all of this shit out of the way now.

You don’t need to be a millionaire to see that running down a marble staircase each morning, driving a V12 powered overcompensation machine and listening to one more fucking story about “Daddy’s wonderful yacht in Monaco”, are the complete opposite of where you should be searching for happiness and fulfillment.

If you make a decent four figures each month, you can live like an absolute king almost anywhere in the world, as well as sprinkling in tests of the above experiences to demonstrate just how little lasting happiness they will bestow upon you.

So, this isn’t necessarily a post about becoming a millionaire, solving the energy crisis or becoming a New York Times bestselling author, unless that’s your thing. Hell, your calling could be to become a xylophone prodigy, or to master whittling the ultimate utensil.

No, this post is about constructing a lifestyle that not only allows you to discover what your calling may be, but to also realize that lifestyle, like now, and not when your schedule is booked full of post-meal naps, unannounced gas, and tales of “the good ol days”.

Yaay…

To find your passion, your calling, what you aim to master and contribute, you first need freedom.

Freedom to work when, where, on what, and for as long as you want.

This post is about constructing the situation where you can show up every damn day filled with raging lightning, shooting laser beams from your eyes and shitting rainbows. It’s about becoming the best, most amazing version of yourself, whatever that may be to you.

“Where can I get these laser beam eyes?!?”

Well, they can be installed by making one simple change.

Let me illustrate; I often ask people the following:

“In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

To which they regale me with elaborate escapades and amazing adventures that their future selves, shall never lead.

My response is swift:

“Well, you clearly don’t really want these experiences your future self is so delighted by, as your current self it sitting here, pathetically doing ZERO to realize those delights.

What needs to change? Finding a lump? Your child dying?? Sleeping with strangers for meth money???”

As you can likely guess, this makes me quite popular at parties.

Yes I know, it’s blunt, but the fact is that almost everyone gives me some variation on:

“I just don’t have enough money, I have work and family commitments, oh and the time, there’s just no way I’d have time to do this, so who the hell invited you anyway?”

Interestingly, in addition to dodging hurled daiquiris, and excluding myself from every social circle to which I’ve previously belonged, I’ve yet to hear anyone say that what they want is actually impossible.

Our world is so connected that we can’t escape the sight of a not insignificant amount of people that are in fact doing the impossible, living life on their own terms.

This fact should make it clear to you;

There’s but one simple change separating you from all these people living your wildest dreams:

 

They stop being such a whiny, little, bitch-ass.

 

That’s right, they decided to grab life by the balls, take charge, and change their lives. You, on the other hand, are still sat on your sofa, devouring cheese dip and jacking off to the thought of Danika on daddy’s Monaco yacht.

The only thing standing in your way is fear. You know it can be done, that there are plenty of hours in your day that aren’t contributing to the greatest, most badass version of yourself.

You’re just scared. Scared of committing to be better. Scared of failure. Scared of your egomaniacal, serpent-tongued mother-in-law’s smug, snide Sunday lunch comments of

“Ewhhh Finneus*…. how’s that business thing going…?”,

“Yes yes alright Susan, it’s a work in progress, politely fuck off already”.

 

*for the full effect, replace “Finneus” with your own name

Now, as scary as this seems, it’s NOWHERE NEAR as diabolical as spending years with all thoughts of your future, creativity, and happiness crushed under the sheer weight of existing in a life you somehow convinced yourself that you wanted.

Trust me.

Make the decision by choice.

Listen to the kind chancellor

 

It’s much more pleasant, and I can also promise this; greatness, fulfillment, everything you ever wanted DOES lie on the other side of that fear.

So, let’s direct my question at you. Let’s experience the world as it isn’t and has never been, but as it might be. Let’s escape today as your mind silently transports you into tomorrow…

 “In your wildest dreams, absolutely unbound by time and money, what would you do? What breathtaking experiences would you have? How would it change your life? No restrictions.”

 

Maybe it was something like this?

  • How about living in a beachfront penthouse in Croatia, moonlight skinny dipping with a national team pole vaulter and screaming insanities from the tower of a medieval castle on a mountaintop in the middle of a lightning storm?

  • Perhaps spelunking through the caves underneath Budapest, realizing you might “have a thing” for being smushed into tight spaces. Maybe raving in an insane thermal bath party or yachting on Hungary’s largest lake?
  • More adrenaline? How about an epic 8-day motorbike trip around the untamed north of Vietnam. Sunkissed hidden valleys, ferocious limestone mountains lined with rice paddies and somehow managing to drive your bike off a cliff.
  • Training with muay thai fighters in Thailand? Partying at the ladyboy cabaret? Diving on the most pristine reefs in the world?.. Or perhaps getting krazy krunk and making mistakes at the full-moon party?
  • Perhaps you’re looking for love? Party with the most beautiful people on the planet in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Eat the best steak. Drink the best malbec. Learn to tango... Fail to learn Spanish because you’re too distracted by the previously mentioned beautiful people.
  • Adventure in the wilds of Peru? Rip through the desert on a dune buggy to the hidden oasis town of Huacachina. Maybe spend 5 days hiking through the Andes mountains, mountain biking at 4,100m, relaxing in thermal springs and squeezing four soaking wet, fully grown men into a two-person tent, all on the way to the ancient wonder of Machu Picchu.
  • More intense? How about paintballing at Pablo Escobar’s holiday home in Colombia? Getting lost in the jungle in a thunderstorm? Repelling down a waterfall? Or staying in a floating Caribbean villa while taking romantic midnight swims in a lagoon lit up with glowing plankton?
  • Maybe you’d like some history, taking a hot air balloon the ancient temple of Teotihuacan in Mexico? Summiting a 4,700ft volcano? Training with professional luchadors in the arena? Or diving through collapsed cave cenotes on the coast?
  •  Perhaps traveling back in time? Smoke Cohiba cigars, drink mojitos in weird art gallery-night club crossovers, and race around in 1950s chevies in Havana.
  • Nature fix? Road trip from Arizona to Canada. Hike and camp in Sedona, the Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, Zion, the volcanic Crater Lake, the Giant Sequoias and Redwoods, Olympic rainforest and Banff National Park. Visit Vegas, Phoenix, San Diego, LA, San Fran, Seattle, and Vancouver.
  •  More magic? Take a midnight hike up Ijen, Java’s blue fire volcano. Take a motorbike to Bali through the mountains and towering hidden waterfalls. Fly across the sea floor with enormous manta rays.

That’s honestly a valiant effort by myself to pick just a few of the highlights from my last 18 months.

So, all of those insane experiences and more, 16 countries, all of those flights, all of the penthouses, and apartments, and exotic food, and parties, and insanity. How much do you think it all cost?

Those are a fraction of the awesome things I’ve done in the last 18 months, and it cost me:

 

Roughly $3,000 total spend per month.

 

Much less than it cost me to live in my tiny apartment in London, a city which is nice for roughly 6 weeks a year, and contains approximately zero adventure.

And if now you’re thinking “Oh Connor you’re very amusing, but I don’t have $3,000 spare”.

Know this… neither did I!

The first 12 months of my adventures and fun I made that money as I went along, and I was living like royalty. I’ve seen some of the most amazing sites in the world, immersed myself in a myriad of interesting cultures, eaten more weird foods than I can count, met hundreds of amazing people, partied my ass off.

All of this, for less money than most people make in a job they despise, living in a city they have no time to enjoy, dining on bland burgers and filling what remains of their day trying to figure out if Steven fucking Avery actually murdered that girl or not.

It’s not about the money, it’s about the freedom.

 

If you can work from wherever you want, whenever you want, on whatever you want, you’ll be surprised at just how many amazing things you can do without being a big baller millionaire, trust fund baby, or crying into a mountain of cocaine about how Danika dumped you for some arsehole with an even more overcompensatory car than you.

 

“You have my attention….. So how do I get all of these freedoms you keep banging on about?”

Why Finneus, I’m so glad you asked…

Remember my not-so dream job? That was with an Instagram software company. Whilst there I learned techniques and hacks for rapidly growing an Instagram account. When we parted ways, I started a fitness business called Transform Fitspo (I do not have a fitness or nutrition certificate of any sort), here’s how it did:

  • I used Instagram hacks and psychology insights gleaned from a crippling foray into depression, to grow an audience of 250,000 followers in 10 months. 100% organic, 100% for free.
  • I created several fitness training ebooks and started selling them to my Instagram audience. After three months I was making $5,000-12,500 in sales per month.
  • I modified the hacks and visual marketing techniques I’d learned with Instagram for Pinterest. Within 6 months I had 450,000 monthly website visitors, and millions of daily Pinterest profile visitors. 
    • I started an email list to make better use of these visitors, growing almost 30,000 subscribers in 4 months.
    • Transform Fitspo was almost completely automated, taking only 4 hours per month to run for the last 3-4 months.
    • The business made over $100,000 for the 18 months I was running it.
    • When I got tired of the business, I sold it for $120,000 in 4 days of advertising it. No questions asked it was snapped up as it was so simple to manage.

    Once again, almost all of this was achieved while I’ve been traveling full time.

    Before I turned 27.

    This is not impossible.

    I wish to share with you, a little more about how I created this life.

    Even though life’s looking pretty fucking rosy at the moment, having metamorphosed into a somewhat beautiful butterfly, it may amuse you to look at the utter shit-show, that lead me here. 

    These story points may seem odd, or unrelated, but they all come together in integral ways to create the success I’ve just shared with you, so stick with it!

    • I used Instagram hacks and psychology insights gleaned from a crippling foray into depression, to grow an audience of 250,000 followers in 10 months. 100% organic, 100% for free.
    • I created several fitness training ebooks and started selling them to my Instagram audience. After three months I was making $5,000-12,500 in sales per month.
    • I modified the hacks and visual marketing techniques I’d learned with Instagram for Pinterest. Within 6 months I had 450,000 monthly website visitors, and millions of daily Pinterest profile visitors. 
      • I started an email list to make better use of these visitors, growing almost 30,000 subscribers in 4 months.
      • Transform Fitspo was almost completely automated, taking only 4 hours per month to run for the last 3-4 months.
      • The business made over $100,000 for the 18 months I was running it.
      • When I got tired of the business, I sold it for $120,000 in 4 days of advertising it. No questions asked it was snapped up as it was so simple to manage.

      Once again, almost all of this was achieved while I’ve been traveling full time.

      Before I turned 27.

      This is not impossible.

      I wish to share with you, a little more about how I created this life.

      Even though life’s looking pretty fucking rosy at the moment, having metamorphosed into a somewhat beautiful butterfly, it may amuse you to look at the utter shit-show, that lead me here.

      These story points may seem odd, or unrelated, but they all come together in integral ways to create the success I’ve just shared with you, so stick with it!

      Mutilation Contemplation

       

      Time passes like thick molasses.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      It’s a particularly slow Tuesday at the office. I stare so intensely at the clock that for an eternal second, I’m sure I can see it’s atoms buzzing around.

      No.

      Not see, hear.

      A distant buzz will not subside.

      For time immemorial, I’ve been playing one of the world’s most popular sports, the endearingly mindless game of “imagining more enjoyable experiences than this”:

      • Setting off a nail bomb, and attempting to catch said nails, with my face?
      • Hand writing my inner monologue, in an inspired attempt to endanger the world’s supply of “fucks”?
      • Tattooing my foreskin, with a harpoon?

      Roughly 38 seconds have passed.

       

      I decide that getting awesome new ink, learning calligraphy or dramatically improving my impression of a cabbage, are unlikely to radically change my mood.

       

      I resume my attempt to discern the quantum nature of the office clock.

       

      Glaciers melt and empires collapse, raging rivers carve through mountain ranges like butter and stars erupt in spectacular supernovae.

       

      The workday ends.

      Something. needs. to. change.

       

      You see, I’m brutally depressed, a delightful issue that has succeeded in drowning the elaborate tapestry of my experience in a thick, viscous tar. My every moment is permeated by a high pitched, oh-so melodic ringing as if setting off a flash-bang grenade was an integral part of my morning routine, you know, after my yoga, before my green superfood antioxidant gluten-free keto smoothie, obviously.

      To track the start of this wondrous adventure, we need to roll the clock back to cute, adorable 14 year old Connor:

      My first “real” girlfriend of over a year, has just cheated on me with best friend, who’s then claimed the offending party is my other best friend. 😶

      So all at once, three of the people I’m meant to trust most in the world have potentially betrayed me.

      Worse still, I still don’t know what the actual story is, and so have to spend weeks trying to piece it together.

      This is fucking stressful for a 14 year old, or I guess anyone really…

      Anyway, the point of this little nugget is, this is the time I discovered I could employ the strange and charming ability to crush my emotions and objections into a tiny-weeny little box, and bury them so deep within my subconscious, that I’d never need to think about them again.

       

      (let your imagination fade to black so you know we’re moving forward in time..)

      I’m perhaps 21, in an increasingly serious relationship with a beautiful, kind and caring girl who appears completely taken with the idea of graduating, getting a house together and filling it with cozy little trinkets, getting a pup or two and starting our perfect country life together.

      Life is amazing.

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      I cannot shake the feeling that I am 100%, unequivocally, without doubt, not meant to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

       

      What am I supposed to do?? She’s lovely, we kind of fell into a relationship, and I don’t want to crush her.

      So I call on old faithful, my little box of emotions and objections, and I shut any thoughts of being unhappy nice and deep in my subconscious.

      Don’t want to think about you.

      Perfect.

       

      So with that problem nicely resolved, we can take a look at my next bright move.

      At this time, I’m also studying for my Physics degree.

      Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all things sciencey. Space, genetics, nanotech, nuclear energy fucking laser beam blasting robots? Sign me up.

      But the actual degree part……. That’s a different story.

      You see, I wanted to learn Physics for the joy of it, in fact, a year before finishing I learned I didn’t even need the damn degree. I had a job offer for a marketing role, something I’d dabbled with before my studies. A job created especially for me. A job where I could do try out any marketing strategies, tricks, and hacks I wanted.

      “That’s so awesome! So did you quit the degree and start your dream job, or did you just relax in your most difficult year, kick back on the exams and enjoy your classes?”

       

      Apparently, a good portion of my self perceived value while younger had become wrapped up in the strategic balancing of “the cool kid”, and “the smart kid”.

      Since starting university, I appeared to be neither.

      So with a lovely little storm of insecurity brewing, I internalized the need to win at everything, and proceed to take any tasty, logical objections about just how pointless my degree will be, and fold them neatly away in my little emotions box. 

      Off I go, miserably working 16 hours a day, every day, for my entire final year. 

      It’s not like all this conscious and determined repression could, you know, one day explode in a catastrophic meltdown….

      Speaking of the devil, we can now roll forward once more to “the dream job”, and THE MAIN EVENT, OF THE EVENIIING.

      I’m 23 and feeling lighter now that I’ve wrapped up my studies and am ready to start changing up the rest of my life!

      Moving with approximately the speed of continental drift, I’ve recently managed to stop being a complete pussy, and breach the topic to my girlfriend of seven, yes SEVEN years, that maybe… just maybe… I don’t, want to be in a relationship anymore…..?

      This was not my finest moment, especially considering it was Christmas and at her family’s house when I felt it pertinent to raise this quandary.

      It wasn’t pretty. Not at all.

      But was the entire planet enveloped in nuclear inferno, as my brain had clearly convinced me was a very real possibility?

      No.

      Long overdue weight removed.

      Ready to start becoming awesome.

      So, my amazing, one of a kind, created for me, dream job…

      I know, I know, degree done, relationship over, netted the dream job;

      Life is amazing.

      There’s just this one thing.

      Having casually breezed past dating in and before university, having been in this relationship since I was 17, I’m now thoroughly panicked at stepping out on my own.

      How the hell do I hit on girls?

      Do I go to a club? A bar? Tinder? Bumble? Wtf is Coffee Meets Bagel??

      …and, and, and a billion other maddening little questions buzz around my head, generally succeeding only to make me an anxious, depressed mess.

      Surprisingly, this doesn’t give you the creativity to impress at the job that has literally been made for you…

      After several months It’s becoming increasingly obvious that I’m making far less money for the little startup than I’m being paid. My boss, an all-around awesome guy, needs to crank up the pressure. So crank he does.

      The panic this induces begins to erode the very foundation of my being.

      As I mentioned, I’ve been dabbling with online business and marketing for a long time. I’d studied it a lot, made a little cash online when I was a teen selling guides and working as a freelancer.

      The problem is, despite my self image somehow having become that of “the entrepreneur”, I’d never actually had sustained success with these endeavors. The niggling fear that I may not actually be as good at all this shit as I’ve convinced myself, combined with my complete inability to make money for this company, is rapidly crushing me.

      I remember being like 15, reading Richard Branson’s Autobiography, the first book I’d ever voluntarily read, and decided I was going to make awesome businesses, buy an island and take a trip to space.

      Reality however, is just doing a fantastic job of bludgeoning this fantasy into a mushy pulp.

      If I’ve been wrong about all of this business stuff for the last decade, what the fuck am I meant to do with my life instead??

      My entire identity is under threat. I’m terrified.

      You see, in retrospect, the real issue is obvious; my handy little box of repressed emotions.

      I’d clearly been desperate to start my own business since I was 15, and now, almost 10 years later, I’d convinced myself that I should work for someone else. I convinced myself that I could take the safe route, getting a salary to take the risk out of essentially still making a business.

      The only issue here is the risk is essential. I needed the fear, the ability to fail, the drive knowing that 100% of the success of an endeavor was completely in my hands.

      Once again, at some point, I took all of those objections, stuffed them deep inside me, and continued to use the strategy that has clearly been working so stunningly for me until now.

      More amusingly yet, my depressive panic is so monstrous, so reality bending, that I am able to convince myself that all I really need is some remote work, to travel while I keep the safety of my salary.

      I’m firmly convinced that this is the answer.

      THIS one simple change will fix me. I’ll be so happy.

      Oh wow, oh boy, I cannot wait to feel like myself again!

      I’m overjoyed for days, until my weekly meeting with my boss.

      We sit, we banter, we laugh.

      I then mention flights to and hotel in Barcelona, that I’ve already booked

      I remember this so clearly, it still makes me feel nauseous to recall 🤢:

      My boss’s head jerks back slightly, eyes widen, and as calmly as he can, says:

      “That’s an interesting way to ask for a work holiday.”

      It’s at this moment that I realize that my little box, the one designed to be so stealthy, that had until now been hidden better than El Dorado, now proceeds to explode with all the force of a great typhoon (be a, maaaan).

      Remember that dull ringing?

      Well, that’s now taken on the flavor of a cathedral, full of raging hornets…

      Intensity increases.

      Seconds smear out and spaghettify.

      Oh no…

      I have become time itself.

      In response, my brain politely folds in half.

      After being alone with my thoughts for the entire Cretaceous period, I slowly reply:

      “Fuck…. Sorry….”

      Sooo….. After a brief conversation and the even briefer implosion of all existence, I’m given an ultimatum to get my shit together, like yesterday, and I head off for my work holiday.

      All the stress doesn’t matter.

       

      I’m certain that doing a little travel will fix my creativity, I’ll start making sales and everything will be unicorns and fucking rainbows, right?

       

      I’m so stressed with the pressure to shit miracles, that I find myself ugly crying on the docks in  Barcelona.

      It becomes yet another dazzling trophy in my as-of-late rapidly expanding collection of; “not my finest moments”.

      Upon my return, we hash out my “resignation” and within a few weeks, I’m on my way…

      Actually, let’s get a little mental health awareness in here, should be interesting…

      You know the funny thing about a mental breakdown?

      It’s just how unfunny they seem. How ordinary.

      In fact, they’re such a mind-numbing ordinary experience, that we rarely consider that our stunningly spontaneous work holiday, or the equations of the universe scrawled across our bedroom walls are in the slightest bit off. If we did, we’d of course not be acting that way.

      No.

      It’s only when the maddening irrationality of our actions is pointed out to us so clearly, so unarguably, so unequivocally, that we’re forced to consider that maybe we’re being a complete dick to our boss, or that we’ve not somehow completed the work that has eluded a centuries worth of super genius’….

      It’s only then that the raging freight train of reality kindly spatters our brains across the room in such an awe-inspiring way it would make even Pollock blush.

      So, I’m out of the job, everything trapping me is gone, and that little box of emotions is bust right open.
       

      Life is amazing.

       

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      When I look at all of the money in my bank account, it is approximately the size of no money.

      I’ve got enough to last three months, MAXIMUM, and I need to build a successful business from scratch in that time.

      Despite a seemingly impressive ability to transmute seconds into eons, this is not long enough to build a business,

      Or so I thought…

      You see, what I lack in time and money, I appear to more than make up for with luck.

      And, holy fuckingshitballs, was I lucky:

      • Lucky I had no children, loans, dependants, a job, or even friends close by, and had so much practice at working like a psychopath and eating like a knave while studying. This allowed me to sink 16+ hours a day into my business while surviving on sugar-filled sports drinks, caffeine, and instant noodles until my focus was utterly exhausted, and my lap festooned with mushy grey matter. I could then sleep and repeat, for months.
      • Lucky that I studied Physics, giving me a deep appreciation for data, testing, and experimentation. It was in a large part due to all of my tests that I found a profitable business niche so quickly.
      • Lucky that my previous job was with an Instagram marketing tool, familiarising me with the platform, what niches were working on it, and what other tools and tricks could be used to effectively grow audiences.
      • Lucky that I’d been interested in online marketing for over a decade, even without success. This meant I could skip 1-2 months of familiarisation, and get moving with the tests I thought had the best chance at bearing fruit.
      • Lucky I completely fucked up my brain, giving a great incentive to get to grips with psychology and how my stupid monkey brain is constantly attempting to subvert what I actually want at every turn. This intricately immersive look at the human brain gave some brilliant insights into “viral”, allowing me to leverage massive organic growth, without having to pay for clicks like most marketers do.
      • Lucky I made my business work when it did. After three months of working like crazy, I was still making nowhere near enough. I had ~$200 to my name (which may surprise you, is not enough for rent in London…). I was two weeks from a rent bill I would not have been able to pay when everything started miraculously working.
      • Lucky I started toying with Pinterest so that when Instagram changed their algorithm, killing my growth and earnings from it, I could lean on Pinterest whilst I relearned how to make a success out of Instagram.

      Might you get this lucky?

      I really hope so, but a lot of factors had to come together for me to perhaps be uniquely suited to achieving the success I needed to start changing my life into something beautiful, with such limited time, money and knowledge.

      It’s only because of this unlikely panoply of lucky circumstances that my last 2 years had any chance of containing some feats, that in retrospect, are pretty fucking awesome:

      • Building a six-figure, automated fitness business.
      • 250,000 Instagram followers.
      • 450,000 monthly website visitors from Pinterest.
      • 30,000 email subscribers.
      • Staying in 36 cities in 15 countries, always in the best part of town, almost always in villas, penthouses or flashy apartments.
      • Eating out and partying A LOT.   
      • Diving with manta rays, bioluminescent plankton, and giant sea turtles.
      • Breathtaking motorbike adventures in Vietnam, Mexico, Thailand, and Indonesia.
      • Hiking 3 volcanos, swimming 5 jungle waterfalls, scaling countless epic mountain ranges.
      • Visiting some of the world’s most famous tourist sites: Sagrada Familia, ANGKOR WAT, Machu Picchu, The Grand Canyon, Banff National Park.
      • Business sold for $120,000 after 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time.
      • Last three months of business took 12 hours TOTAL to manage.

       

      Most important of all:

      I’ve had the adventures, experiences, and freedom to learn what I really value, what truly makes me feel happy and fulfilled, what I enjoy and want to commit my life to.

      I really cannot put a price on that!

       

      So, slow down, take a deep breath and tell me, Does your current life, reflect your ideal life?

      You, like I once did, likely find life ringing with the feeling of a broken promise.

      That you’ve, somewhat perplexingly, been steered from your grand ambitions of a magnificent life, into an unimaginably dull malaise.

      That your existence is racing by, unfulfilling, and frankly, a little pathetic.

       

      When the day comes to a close, and you’re brushing your teeth, wouldn’t you rather look up in the mirror and see someone with a purpose, someone living up to their potential, someone that each day, you’re more and more proud to be?

       

      This could be the case.

      You know it.

      You merely need to summon the courage and decide to change your life.

      I, alongside numerous others, am living proof of it, and you can imitate everything I’ve done.

      Mutilation Contemplation

       

      Time passes like thick molasses.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      Tick.

       

      It’s a particularly slow Tuesday at the office. I stare so intensely at the clock that for an eternal second, I’m sure I can see it’s atoms buzzing around.

      No.

      Not see, hear.

      A distant buzz will not subside.

      For time immemorial, I’ve been playing one of the world’s most popular sports, the endearingly mindless game of “imagining more enjoyable experiences than this”:

      • Setting off a nail bomb, and attempting to catch said nails, with my face?
      • Hand writing my inner monologue, in an inspired attempt to endanger the world’s supply of “fucks”?
      • Tattooing my foreskin, with a harpoon?

      Roughly 38 seconds have passed.

       

      I decide that getting awesome new ink, learning calligraphy or dramatically improving my impression of a cabbage, are unlikely to radically change my mood.

       

      I resume my attempt to discern the quantum nature of the office clock.

       

      Glaciers melt and empires collapse, raging rivers carve through mountain ranges like butter and stars erupt in spectacular supernovae.

       

      The workday ends.

      Something needs to change.

       

      You see, I’m brutally depressed, a delightful issue that has succeeded in drowning the elaborate tapestry of my experience in a thick, viscous tar. My every moment is permeated by a high pitched, oh-so melodic ringing as if setting off a flash-bang grenade was an integral part of my morning routine, you know, after my yoga, before my green superfood antioxidant gluten-free Buddha bowl, obviously.

      To track the start of this wondrous adventure, we need to roll the clock back to cute, adorable 14 year old Connor:

      My first “real” girlfriend of over a year, has just cheated on me with best friend, who’s then claimed the offending party is my other best friend. 😶

      So all at once, three of the people I’m meant to trust most in the world have potentially betrayed me.

      Worse still, I still don’t know what the actual story is, and so have to spend weeks trying to piece it together.

      This is fucking stressful for a 14 year old, or I guess anyone really…

      Anyway, the point of this little nugget is, this is the time I discovered I could employ the strange and charming ability to crush my emotions and objections into a tiny-weeny little box, and bury them so deep within my subconscious, that I’d never need to think about them again.

       

      (let your imagination fade to black so you know we’re moving forward in time..)

      I’m perhaps 21, in an increasingly serious relationship with a beautiful, kind and caring girl who appears completely taken with the idea of graduating, getting a house together and filling it with cozy little trinkets, getting a pup or two and starting our perfect country life together.

      Life is amazing.

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      I cannot shake the feeling that I am 100%, unequivocally, without doubt, not meant to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

      What am I supposed to do?? She’s lovely, we kind of fell into a relationship, and I don’t want to crush her.

      So I call on old faithful, my little box of emotions and objections, and I shut any thoughts of being unhappy nice and deep in my subconscious.

      Don’t want to think about you.

      Perfect.

       

      So with that problem nicely resolved, we can take a look at my next bright move.

      At this time, I’m also studying for my Physics degree.

      Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all things sciencey. Space, genetics, nanotech, nuclear energy fucking laser beam blasting robots? Sign me up.

      But the actual degree part……. That’s a different story.

      You see, I wanted to learn Physics for the joy of it, in fact, a year before finishing I learned I didn’t even need the damn degree. I had a job offer for a marketing role, something I’d dabbled with before my studies. A job created especially for me. A job where I could do try out any marketing strategies, tricks, and hacks I wanted.

      “That’s so awesome! So did you quit the degree and start your dream job, or did you just relax in your most difficult year, kick back on the exams and enjoy your classes?”

       

      Apparently, a good portion of my self perceived value while younger had become wrapped up in the strategic balancing of “the cool kid”, and “the smart kid”.

      Since starting university, I appeared to be neither.

      So with a lovely little storm of insecurity brewing, I internalized the need to win at everything, and proceed to take any tasty, logical objections about just how pointless my degree will be, and fold them neatly away in my little emotions box. 

      Off I go, miserably working 16 hours a day, every day, for my entire final year. 

      It’s not like all this conscious and determined repression could, you know, one day explode in a catastrophic meltdown….

      Speaking of the devil, we can now roll forward once more to “the dream job”, and THE MAIN EVENT, OF THE EVENIIING.

      I’m 23 and feeling lighter now that I’ve wrapped up my studies and am ready to start changing up the rest of my life!

      Moving with approximately the speed of continental drift, I’ve recently managed to stop being a complete pussy, and breach the topic to my girlfriend of seven, yes SEVEN years, that maybe… just maybe… I don’t, want to be in a relationship anymore…..?

      This was not my finest moment, especially considering it was Christmas and at her family’s house when I felt it pertinent to raise this quandary.

      It wasn’t pretty. Not at all.

      But was the entire planet enveloped in nuclear inferno, as my brain had clearly convinced me was a very real possibility?

      No.

      Long overdue weight removed.

      Ready to start becoming awesome.

      So, my amazing, one of a kind, created for me, dream job…

      I know, I know, degree done, relationship over, netted the dream job;

      Life is amazing.

      There’s just this one thing.

      Having casually breezed past dating in and before university, having been in this relationship since I was 17, I’m now thoroughly panicked at stepping out on my own.

      How the hell do I hit on girls?

      Do I go to a club? A bar? Tinder? Bumble? Wtf is Coffee Meets Bagel??

      …and, and, and a billion other maddening little questions buzz around my head, generally succeeding only to make me an anxious, depressed mess.

      Surprisingly, this doesn’t give you the creativity to impress at the job that has literally been made for you…

      After several months It’s becoming increasingly obvious that I’m making far less money for the little startup than I’m being paid. My boss, an all-around awesome guy, needs to crank up the pressure. So crank he does.

      The panic this induces begins to erode the very foundation of my being.

      As I mentioned, I’ve been dabbling with online business and marketing for a long time. I’d studied it a lot, made a little cash online when I was a teen selling guides and working as a freelancer.

      The problem is, despite my self image somehow having become that of “the entrepreneur”, I’d never actually had sustained success with these endeavors. The niggling fear that I may not actually be as good at all this shit as I’ve convinced myself, combined with my complete inability to make money for this company, is rapidly crushing me.

      I remember being 15 and reading Richard Branson’s Autobiography, the first book I’d ever voluntarily read, and decided I was going to make awesome businesses, buy an island and take a trip to space.

      Reality however, is just doing a fantastic job of bludgeoning this fantasy into a mushy pulp.

      If I’ve been wrong about all of this business stuff for the last decade, what the fuck am I meant to do with my life instead??

      My entire identity is under threat. I’m terrified.

      You see, in retrospect, the real issue is obvious; my handy little box of repressed emotions.

      I’d clearly been desperate to start my own business since I was 15, and now, almost 10 years later, I’d convinced myself that I should work for someone else. I convinced myself that I could take the safe route, getting a salary to take the risk out of essentially still making a business.

      The only issue here is the risk is essential. I needed the fear, the ability to fail, the drive knowing that 100% of the success of an endeavor was completely in my hands.

      Once again, at some point, I took all of those objections, stuffed them deep inside me, and continued to use the strategy that has clearly been working so stunningly for me until now.

      More amusingly yet, my depressive panic is so monstrous, so reality bending, that I am able to convince myself that all I really need is some remote work, to travel while I keep the safety of my salary.

      I’m firmly convinced that this is the answer.

      THIS one simple change will fix me. I’ll be so happy.

      Oh wow, oh boy, I cannot wait to feel like myself again!

      I’m overjoyed for days, until my weekly meeting with my boss.

      We sit, we banter, we laugh.

      I then mention the flights to and hotel in Barcelona, that I’ve already booked

      I remember this so clearly, it still makes me feel nauseous to recall 🤢:

      My boss’s head jerks back slightly, eyes widen, and as calmly as he can, says:

      “That’s an interesting way to ask for a work holiday.”

      It’s at this moment that I realize that my little box, the one designed to be so stealthy, so difficult to find that I ideally never need to deal with the issues it contains, ceases to function as advertised. What had until now been hidden better than El Dorado, now proceeds to explode with all the force of a great typhoon (be a, maaaan).

      Remember that dull ringing?

      Well, that’s now taken on the flavor of a cathedral, full of raging hornets…

      Intensity increases.

      Seconds smear out and spaghettify.

      Oh no…

      I have become time itself.

      In response, my brain politely folds in half.

       

      After being alone with my thoughts for the entire Cretaceous period, I slowly reply:

      “fuck…… sorry”

      Sooo….. After a brief conversation and the even briefer implosion of all existence, I’m given an ultimatum to get my shit together, like yesterday, and I head off for my work holiday.

      All the stress doesn’t matter.

       

      I’m certain that doing a little travel will fix my creativity, I’ll start making sales and everything will be unicorns and fucking rainbows, right?

       

      I’m so stressed with the pressure to shit miracles, that I find myself ugly crying on the docks in  Barcelona.

      It becomes yet another dazzling trophy in my as-of-late rapidly expanding collection of; “not my finest moments”.

      Upon my return, we hash out my “resignation” and within a few weeks, I’m on my way…

      Actually, let’s get a little mental health awareness in here, should be interesting…

      You know the funny thing about a mental breakdown?

      It’s just how unfunny they seem. How ordinary.

      In fact, they’re such a mind-numbing ordinary experience, that we rarely consider that our stunningly spontaneous work holiday, or the equations of the universe scrawled across our bedroom walls are in the slightest bit off. If we did, we’d of course not be acting that way.

      No.

      It’s only when the maddening irrationality of our actions is pointed out to us so clearly, so unarguably, so unequivocally, that we’re forced to consider that maybe we’re being a complete dick to our boss, or that we’ve not somehow completed the work that has eluded a centuries worth of super genius’….

      It’s only then that the raging freight train of reality kindly spatters our brains across the room in such an awe-inspiring way it would make even Pollock blush.

      So, I’m out of the job, everything trapping me is gone, and that little box of emotions is bust right open.
       

      Life is amazing.

       

       

      Except for this one thing…

       

      When I look at all of the money in my bank account, it is approximately the size of no money.

      I’ve got enough to last three months, MAXIMUM, and I need to build a successful business from scratch in that time.

      Despite a seemingly impressive ability to transmute seconds into eons, this is not long enough to build a business,

      Or so I thought…

      You see, what I lack in time and money, I appear to more than make up for with luck.

      And, holy fuckingshitballs, was I lucky:

      • Lucky I had no children, loans, dependants, a job, or even friends close by, and had so much practice at working like a psychopath and eating like a knave while studying. This allowed me to sink 16+ hours a day into my business while surviving on sugar-filled sports drinks, caffeine, and instant noodles until my focus was utterly exhausted, and my lap festooned with mushy grey matter. I could then sleep and repeat, for months.
      • Lucky that I studied Physics, giving me a deep appreciation for data, testing, and experimentation. It was in a large part due to all of my tests that I found a profitable business niche so quickly.
      • Lucky that my previous job was with an Instagram marketing tool, familiarising me with the platform, what niches were working on it, and what other tools and tricks could be used to effectively grow audiences.
      • Lucky that I’d been interested in online marketing for over a decade, even without success. This meant I could skip 1-2 months of familiarisation, and get moving with the tests I thought had the best chance at bearing fruit.
      • Lucky I completely fucked up my brain, giving a great incentive to get to grips with psychology and how my stupid monkey brain is constantly attempting to subvert what I actually want at every turn. This intricately immersive look at the human brain gave some brilliant insights into “viral”, allowing me to leverage massive organic growth, without having to pay for clicks like most marketers do.
      • Lucky I made my business work when it did. After three months of working like crazy, I was still making nowhere near enough. I had ~$200 to my name (which may surprise you, is not enough for rent in London…). I was two weeks from a rent bill I would not have been able to pay when everything started miraculously working.
      • Lucky I started toying with Pinterest so that when Instagram changed their algorithm, killing my growth and earnings from it, I could lean on Pinterest whilst I relearned how to make a success out of Instagram.

      Might you get this lucky?

      I really hope so, but a lot of factors had to come together for me to perhaps be uniquely suited to achieving the success I needed to start changing my life into something beautiful, with such limited time, money and knowledge.

      It’s only because of this unlikely panoply of lucky circumstances that my last 2 years had any chance of containing some feats, that in retrospect, are pretty fucking awesome:

      • Building a six-figure, automated fitness business.
      • 250,000 Instagram followers.
      • 450,000 monthly website visitors from Pinterest.
      • 30,000 email subscribers.
      • Staying in 36 cities in 15 countries, always in the best part of town, almost always in villas, penthouses or flashy apartments.
      • Eating out and partying A LOT.   
      • Diving with manta rays, bioluminescent plankton, and giant sea turtles.
      • Breathtaking motorbike adventures in Vietnam, Mexico, Thailand, and Indonesia.
      • Hiking 3 volcanos, swimming 5 jungle waterfalls, scaling countless epic mountain ranges.
      • Visiting some of the world’s most famous tourist sites: Sagrada Familia, ANGKOR WAT, Machu Picchu, The Grand Canyon, Banff National Park.
      • Business sold for $120,000 after 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time.
      • Last three months of business took 12 hours TOTAL to manage.

       

      Most important of all:

      I’ve had the adventures, experiences, and freedom to learn what I really value, what truly makes me feel happy and fulfilled, what I enjoy and want to commit my life to.

      I really cannot put a price on that!

       

      So, slow down, take a deep breath and tell me, does your current life reflect your ideal life?

      You, like I once did, likely find life ringing with the feeling of a broken promise.

      That you’ve, somewhat perplexingly, been steered from your grand ambitions of a magnificent life, into an unimaginably dull malaise.

      That your existence is racing by, unfulfilling, and frankly, a little pathetic.

       

      When the day comes to a close, and you’re brushing your teeth, wouldn’t you rather look up in the mirror and see someone with a purpose, someone living up to their potential, someone that each day, you’re more and more proud to be?

       

      This could be the case.

      You know it.

      You merely need to summon the courage and decide to change your life.

      I, alongside numerous others, am living proof of it, and you can imitate everything I’ve done.

      Why Now is Still The best time ever to start:

       

      1. Everyone is using Instagram (badly).

      Everyone is tirelessly grinding trying to take perfect smoothie bowl photos, throwing countless hours into a unproven audiences.

      On top of that; no one cares about Pinterest. There. I said it. It has an image problem as most marketers assume it’s just full of moms. Don’t think this is a bad thing – most marketers are just pure wrong, which means you have a much easier time dominating the platform.

      2. Organic marketing is FUCKING DIFFICULT.

      Almost everyone uses paid marketing, which you’ll generally need to invest thousands of dollars before you figure out which ads actually work (let alone how to turn those clicks into cash).

      With organic marketing, you need to be an absolute demon at understanding psychology, because you need the tiny amount of people that see your content to start sharing it. 

      3. Everyone thinks one Instagram account is enough (spoiler alert)..

      It ain’t.

      In a charming entrepreneurial flourish, I decided I would instead use, hundreds. One account can only post 1-5 times a day. You need vastly more data than that to figure out what the most powerful target audience is, and what content works the best. Also, if you rely on one large account, and suddenly the magic algorithm pixies change their minds, it can die. Quickly.

      Don’t do this.

      The problem then becomes figuring out how to manage this behemoth. So that’s what I did!

      The truth is, if you keep doing the same shit as everyone else, you’re going to get the same, shit results.

      You need to dare to dream bigger.

      Come with me, let’s once again frolic in the best of all imaginary tomorrows.

      How would you feel if you could:

      Share your passion to help thousands of people? Every. Single. Week

      How sweet would it be if you could earn a living whittling those artisanal sporks? How energized would you feel each morning, knowing your job description is now: “Get up and kick some fucking ass at whatever I love doing”?

       

      Use a guaranteed way to reach these people without needing $thousands$ to invest?

      How would you feel if in only a few months you could start seeing business success? You, right now, with the pathetic amount of cash you have to your name, without having to risk leaving your career (even though it’s about as fun as chewing glass).

       

      Add extra hours to your day!

      That’s right, how would you feel if you were suddenly adept in time magic? [crippling depression not required]

      Imagine if you could free up your entire day to do whatever the hell you feel like. Want to create awesome content, sail the seven seas, or finally get to making that Instagram account you’ve been dreaming of, you know the one where you snap your pet hedgehog dressed as famous movie villains?

      Whatever floats your boat, Wallace.

      Deeeeeer, der.

       

      Become a super awesome influencer.

      How would it feel to fill the hole left by your existential millennial dread with the adoration of strangers on the Internet? Think about all the amazing free teeth whitening kits, yoga bands and gluten-free granola bars people would send you!

      Sounds wonderful.

       

      Wanna know a secret? This imagined wonderland can all become real if you just focus really hard and manifest it*

       

       

       

      *by manifest it, I mean strategically use Instagram and Pinterest..

      I, my friends and my clients are living breathing proof that this is possible.

      There are formulas for these platforms that give powerful, repeatable, stable results.

      I’ve tried HUNDREDS of strategies, and only a handful of these experiments resulted in generating INSANE amounts of traffic and cash, for free.

      These strategies have made me over $250,000 in the past two years (18 months of that were spent traveling full time, and as you may intuit, adventures through the jungle do not make for the most productive work schedule).

      When running, these strategies took 4 hours PER MONTH to maintain.

      PER.

      MONTH.

      Watch your ass Tim Ferris.

      The fact is, you can create a system like I have used (and am currently repeating for several new businesses).

      You can have the freedoms you want to start building your dream life.

      Work or don’t work.

      Adventure around the world, or start concocting a harrowing work of fiction, where the twisted monster bears just a passing resemblance that heartless, ice-queen of an ex that you’re definitely, totally over..

      The point is, whatever life you desire, no matter how far removed it may seem from your current situation, it is possible for you to have that life.

       

      You have the power to feel truly, deeply fulfilled, but first, you just need the money, time and location freedom to make it so.

      Why Now is Still The best time ever to start:

       

      1. Everyone is using Instagram (badly).

      Everyone is tirelessly grinding trying to take perfect smoothie bowl photos, throwing countless hours into a unproven audiences.

      On top of that; no one cares about Pinterest. There. I said it. It has an image problem as most marketers assume it’s just full of moms. Don’t think this is a bad thing – most marketers are just pure wrong, which means you have a much easier time dominating the platform.

      2. Organic marketing is FUCKING DIFFICULT.

      Almost everyone uses paid marketing, which you’ll generally need to invest thousands of dollars before you figure out which ads actually work (let alone how to turn those clicks into cash).

      With organic marketing, you need to be an absolute demon at understanding psychology, because you need the tiny amount of people that see your content to start sharing it. 

      3. Everyone thinks one Instagram account is enough (spoiler alert)..

      It ain’t.

      In a charming entrepreneurial flourish, I decided I would instead use, hundreds. One account can only post 1-5 times a day. You need vastly more data than that to figure out what the most powerful target audience is, and what content works the best. Also, if you rely on one large account, and suddenly the magic algorithm pixies change their minds, it can die. Quickly.

      Don’t do this.

      The problem then becomes figuring out how to manage this behemoth. So that’s what I did!

      The truth is, if you keep doing the same shit as everyone else, you’re going to get the same, shit results.

      You need to dare to dream bigger.

      Come with me, let’s once again frolic in the best of all imaginary tomorrows.

      How would you feel if you could:

      Share your passion to help thousands of people? Every. Single. Week

      How sweet would it be if you could earn a living whittling those artisanal sporks? How energized would you feel each morning, knowing your job description is now: “Get up and kick some fucking ass at whatever I love doing”?

       

      Use a guaranteed way to reach these people without needing $thousands$ to invest?

      How would you feel if in only a few months you could start seeing business success? You, right now, with the pathetic amount of cash you have to your name, without having to risk leaving your career (even though it’s about as fun as chewing glass).

       

      Add extra hours to your day!

      That’s right, how would you feel if you were suddenly adept in time magic? [crippling depression not required]

      Imagine if you could free up your entire day to do whatever the hell you feel like. Want to create awesome content, sail the seven seas, or finally get to making that Instagram account you’ve been dreaming of, you know the one where you snap your pet hedgehog dressed as famous movie villains?

      Whatever floats your boat, Wallace.

      Deeeeeer, der.

       

      Become a super awesome influencer.

      How would it feel to fill the hole left by your existential millennial dread with the adoration of strangers on the Internet? Think about all the amazing free teeth whitening kits, yoga bands and gluten-free granola bars people would send you!

      Sounds wonderful.

       

      Wanna know a secret? This imagined wonderland can all become real if you just focus really hard and manifest it*

       

       

       

      *by manifest it, I mean strategically use Instagram and Pinterest..

      I, my friends and my clients are living breathing proof that this is possible.

      There are formulas for these platforms that give powerful, repeatable, stable results.

      I’ve tried HUNDREDS of strategies, and only a handful of these experiments resulted in generating INSANE amounts of traffic and cash, for free.

      These strategies have made me over $250,000 in the past two years (18 months of that were spent traveling full time, and as you may intuit, adventures through the jungle do not make for the most productive work schedule).

      When running, these strategies took 4 hours PER MONTH to maintain.

      PER.

      MONTH.

      Watch your ass Tim Ferris.

      The fact is, you can create a system like I have used (and am currently repeating for several new businesses).

      You can have the freedoms you want to start building your dream life.

      Work or don’t work.

      Adventure around the world, or start concocting a harrowing work of fiction, where the twisted monster bears just a passing resemblance that heartless, ice-queen of an ex that you’re definitely, totally over..

      The point is, whatever life you desire, no matter how far removed it may seem from your current situation, it is possible for you to have that life.

       

      You have the power to feel truly, deeply fulfilled, but first, you just need the money, time and location freedom to make it so.

      7 Steps to create your freedom business

       

      Now you’re pumped up and lavishly smothered with back-story, it’s time to get into the strategy!

      STEP 1. Find the Most Valuable Audience

       

      • I always suggest you find the existing strong niche that most closely fits your own business or business idea. You should then find out which part of that niche is most likely to buy the product you sell (or intend to).  
        • For example, I made 10 fitness Instagram accounts: hot fitness guys, hot fitness girls, gym jokes, workouts for women, workouts for men, fitness couples, before and after transformations etc.
        • I made links to fitness programs on Amazon through Bitly.com so I could see which account had the most clicks to the programs.

      STEP 2. Post Proven Content

       

      • Don’t waste your time trying to take perfect photos, or waste money flying yourself half way across the world just to become an annoying Insta-tourist viewing the planet through their iPhone… 
      • This is fine if you have a tens of thousands of followers, but don’t start this way. Instead, you should ask accounts if you can repost their content that is performing well (DM them). You can also find amazing Insta-level content on Unsplash.com.
        • I would only repost content on Instagram that had already been in the top 10% of engagement for any account. If it’s done well once, it’s much more likely to do so again. 

      STEP 3. Post fucking loads

       

      • You need to post 2-8 times a day, EVERY DAY on each of your accounts. 
      • I can’t stress this enough, with lots of accounts, all posting lots, you will be able to rapidly find out which account is focused at the most valuable audience. 
      • It’s that simple! 

       STEP 4. Hashtag ladders

        

      • People need to find your content, and hashtags are still one of the simplest, most effective ways for that to happen. The problem is in selecting them. 
      • Hashtag Ladders are a strategy I came up a few years ago when I started messing with Instagram, and they’re now known the world over as the best hashtag strategy. 
      • To make them, you need to search for hashtags relating to your account’s niche (just use Instagram’s search) and note down all of the ones with 10,000 – 500,000 previous uses. You then want to make sure you have a roughly even distribution of uses, so some with 10,000-20,000, some with 20,000-50,000, etc. 
      • The Ladders work because your posts will easily appear in the hashtag results for the low use tags, gain some engagements, start to appear for higher ones and up and up. 
      • Hashtag ladders can make it so one in every 4-5 posts you make go viral, getting 2-10x their normal engagement and giving you massive follower growth.  
        • Here is an example hashtag ladder! 

      STEP 5. Find the Insta-Junkies 

       

      • If you have time to sit on Instagram all day liking and commenting on photos, you need to thoroughly inspect your life choices up to this point..Instead, you should only be interacting with users that are the MOST likely to become followers. Lucky for you, it’s easy to find them! 
      • You should find some large influencer accounts that are posting the same type of content as you, then you see who has commented on these posts, and do the following:
        • Like their comment.
        • Follow them
        • Like 2-3 of their recent posts.
        • View their stories.
        • Maybe leave a comment on one. 
      • This will send a load of notifications to that account, encouraging them to look at your account. If you do this for 30 minutes a day, you’ll start to get followers that engage with your content, making the hashtag ladders work even better.  

      STEP 6. Talk to your audience! 

       

      • This point is so simple, and so powerful. In whatever way you can, you should ask your audience what their biggest challenge is. Add it to captions of your Instagram posts, maybe make a freebie guide to get people on your email list and include it in your first email. 
      • If you can gather from your audience, in their words, what they think the problem is, you can communicate more effectively with them, as well as sell them things they actually want. 
        • For example, I added “What’s your biggest challenge” to the first email my visitors were sent, and out of 100+ replies, there were only 7 different challenges. 7! 5 challenges made up 90% of them. 
        • Understanding these, I made a popup that called out the top 5 and it did 700% better than my old one. That means that one change ended up getting 7 times as many people to my fitness program page, and made me 7 times the money. One change! 
        • Here’s an example of a client doing the same and getting similar results:

       

      STEP 7. start making money from day 1. 

       

      • Here’s another big point, you can make money straight away. The bio links in your Instagram accounts could go to Amazon products that you think will help and you can make a commission in their partner program. Loads of companies offer “affiliate” programs that work in the same way; if you send a user that makes a sale, you get a cut. Even Airbnb has a credit scheme so you can start to build up free stays in awesome villas etc if you send people. 
      • Spent some time looking for affiliate offers that your audience wants, they can be added to your bio link, or linked in a popup like the one shown above. 
      • Don’t waste the initial follower growth your accounts get, it’s almost entirely new followers that click through your bio link, so have something they can buy. 
      • Bonus: When you’ve found out your audiences biggest challenges, create an information product to solve all of those and sell it with Shopify or WooCommerce. People will pay $50-100 for an information product if you save them a load of research time.  
        • This is exactly what I did with my fitness business, I started off sending people to Amazon workout programs, and then created my own based on all of the biggest problems people faced, selling for $37. 
        • These information products combined with Instagram and Pinterest marketing made me $5,000-$12,500 per month while I was traveling! 

      7 Steps to create your freedom business

       

      Now you’re pumped up and lavishly smothered with back-story, it’s time to get into the strategy!

      STEP 1. Find the Most Valuable Audience

       

      • I always suggest you find the existing strong niche that most closely fits your own business or business idea. You should then find out which part of that niche is most likely to buy the product you sell (or intend to).  
        • For example, I made 10 fitness Instagram accounts: hot fitness guys, hot fitness girls, gym jokes, workouts for women, workouts for men, fitness couples, before and after transformations etc.
        • I made links to fitness programs on Amazon through Bitly.com so I could see which account had the most clicks to the programs.

      STEP 2. Post Proven Content

       

      • Don’t waste your time trying to take perfect photos, or waste money flying yourself half way across the world just to become an annoying Insta-tourist viewing the planet through their iPhone… 
      • This is fine if you have a tens of thousands of followers, but don’t start this way. Instead, you should ask accounts if you can repost their content that is performing well (DM them). You can also find amazing Insta-level content on Unsplash.com.
        • I would only repost content on Instagram that had already been in the top 10% of engagement for any account. If it’s done well once, it’s much more likely to do so again. 

      STEP 3. Post fucking loads

       

      • You need to post 2-8 times a day, EVERY DAY on each of your accounts. 
      • I can’t stress this enough, with lots of accounts, all posting lots, you will be able to rapidly find out which account is focused at the most valuable audience. 
      • It’s that simple! 

       STEP 4. Hashtag ladders

        

      • People need to find your content, and hashtags are still one of the simplest, most effective ways for that to happen. The problem is in selecting them. 
      • Hashtag Ladders are a strategy I came up a few years ago when I started messing with Instagram, and they’re now known the world over as the best hashtag strategy. 
      • To make them, you need to search for hashtags relating to your account’s niche (just use Instagram’s search) and note down all of the ones with 10,000 – 500,000 previous uses. You then want to make sure you have a roughly even distribution of uses, so some with 10,000-20,000, some with 20,000-50,000, etc. 
      • The Ladders work because your posts will easily appear in the hashtag results for the low use tags, gain some engagements, start to appear for higher ones and up and up. 
      • Hashtag ladders can make it so one in every 4-5 posts you make go viral, getting 2-10x their normal engagement and giving you massive follower growth.  
        • Here is an example hashtag ladder! 

      STEP 5. Find the Insta-Junkies 

       

      • If you have time to sit on Instagram all day liking and commenting on photos, you need to thoroughly inspect your life choices up to this point..Instead, you should only be interacting with users that are the MOST likely to become followers. Lucky for you, it’s easy to find them! 
      • You should find some large influencer accounts that are posting the same type of content as you, then you see who has commented on these posts, and do the following:
        • Like their comment.
        • Follow them
        • Like 2-3 of their recent posts.
        • View their stories.
        • Maybe leave a comment on one. 
      • This will send a load of notifications to that account, encouraging them to look at your account. If you do this for 30 minutes a day, you’ll start to get followers that engage with your content, making the hashtag ladders work even better.  

      STEP 6. Talk to your audience! 

       

      • This point is so simple, and so powerful. In whatever way you can, you should ask your audience what their biggest challenge is. Add it to captions of your Instagram posts, maybe make a freebie guide to get people on your email list and include it in your first email. 
      • If you can gather from your audience, in their words, what they think the problem is, you can communicate more effectively with them, as well as sell them things they actually want. 
        • For example, I added “What’s your biggest challenge” to the first email my visitors were sent, and out of 100+ replies, there were only 7 different challenges. 7! 5 challenges made up 90% of them. 
        • Understanding these, I made a popup that called out the top 5 and it did 700% better than my old one. That means that one change ended up getting 7 times as many people to my fitness program page, and made me 7 times the money. One change! 
        • Here’s an example of a client doing the same and getting similar results:

       

      STEP 7. start making money from day 1. 

       

      • Here’s another big point, you can make money straight away. The bio links in your Instagram accounts could go to Amazon products that you think will help and you can make a commission in their partner program. Loads of companies offer “affiliate” programs that work in the same way; if you send a user that makes a sale, you get a cut. Even Airbnb has a credit scheme so you can start to build up free stays in awesome villas etc if you send people. 
      • Spent some time looking for affiliate offers that your audience wants, they can be added to your bio link, or linked in a popup like the one shown above. 
      • Don’t waste the initial follower growth your accounts get, it’s almost entirely new followers that click through your bio link, so have something they can buy. 
      • Bonus: When you’ve found out your audiences biggest challenges, create an information product to solve all of those and sell it with Shopify or WooCommerce. People will pay $50-100 for an information product if you save them a load of research time.  
        • This is exactly what I did with my fitness business, I started off sending people to Amazon workout programs, and then created my own based on all of the biggest problems people faced, selling for $37. 
        • These information products combined with Instagram and Pinterest marketing made me $5,000-$12,500 per month while I was traveling! 

      These honestly are my most powerful strategies. Yes, they’re stripped back, but this post is already long without me adding in an extra 200 pages (not an exaggeration). 😶 

      They work, and if you take these away and put them into action, you will see results. 

      With that said, there is a massive amount of extra detail needed in order to automate and scale this system in a safe way that doesn’t end up getting you banned or even in legal trouble.  

      On that note, I’d like to welcome you, to what is allegedly the sales pitch for my full; “dominate social media, make internet money, have loads of free time and in general be a fucking badass” courses; Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin.

      These courses cover EVERYTHING I know, step-by-step for these platforms. These are exact, refined strategies that made me $250,000 in 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time. 

      If your next move is to recoil in horror, I might add that as you’ve been reading this far, you might also find the rest of this post amusing? Reading it doesn’t commit you to anything, right? 

      If you’re feeling something along the lines of:

      Then might I add, “1. Hold that thought and 2. Steady on now, you don’t even know what you’re buying, yet.”

      The strategies in these training courses are tested in a large number of niches and will work in any.

      They’re only the best, most effective, most refined techniques I’ve found after years of trial and error, all built upon each other to guarantee success.  

      I used a WORSE version of this training (you don’t have to make all the mistakes and do all of the testing I did) to go from broke and alone in a shit flat in Birmingham, so miserable I had a mind-melting but brief depressive breakdown…. to making thousands per month, working just a few hours, having the time of my life adventuring around the World, and making six figures on my business sale, in 18 months!

      Sooooo, why are there two different courses?

       

      Well, 1. Insta Ballin has a super detailed (but still step-by-step) formula that took 178 pages for me to walk through. It’s powerful and no one is doing this, but there are lots of nuances. Pinterest is much more streamlined, meaning I could cover everything in a shapely 83 pages 😅

      Aaaaaand, unfortunately: 2. Because despite Pinterest having made me 2x the cash that Instagram has, no one cares about being awesome with Pinterest.  

      Pinterest is insanely powerful, and that’s in part because there’s so little competition. People don’t think it works, so they don’t use it.

      So while you’re grabbing Insta Ballin to make crazy cash as well as live that influencer life via The Gram, I suggest you also grab Pinterest Pimpin as well.

      It’s always great to have multiple strong traffic sources. At some point the world will catch on to the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is clearly a scaly reptilian alien wearing a human skin, making Instagram implode:

      See, just casually drinking water, like any normal human, sip, sip….

      Also, it’ll likely make you more money and take less time to keep on top of. 

      So here we are. I’m throwing caution to the wind, promising you the world with reckless abandon, praying you’ll summon the courage to join me on this maverick journey.

      And by “join me on this maverick journey”, I mean “hand me your hard earned money as soon as possible without hesitation.”

      Ok. Enough frivolity for the moment, I guess I should tell you what these courses are all about:

      These honestly are my most powerful strategies. Yes, they’re stripped back, but this post is already long without me adding in an extra 200 pages (not an exaggeration). 😶 

      They work, and if you take these away and put them into action, you will see results. 

      With that said, there is a massive amount of extra detail needed in order to automate and scale this system in a safe way that doesn’t end up getting you banned or even in legal trouble.  

      On that note, I’d like to welcome you, to what is allegedly the sales pitch for my full; “dominate social media, make internet money, have loads of free time and in general be a fucking badass” courses; Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin.

      These courses cover EVERYTHING I know, step-by-step for these platforms. These are exact, refined strategies that made me $250,000 in 18 months, 12 of which I was traveling full time. 

      If your next move is to recoil in horror, I might add that as you’ve been reading this far, you might also find the rest of this post amusing? Reading it doesn’t commit you to anything, right? 

      If you’re feeling something along the lines of:

      Then might I add, “1. Hold that thought and 2. Steady on now, you don’t even know what you’re buying, yet 😏.”

      The strategies in these training courses are tested in a large number of niches and will work in any.

      They’re only the best, most effective, most refined techniques I’ve found after years of trial and error, all built upon each other to guarantee success.  

      I used a WORSE version of this training (you don’t have to make all the mistakes and do all of the testing I did) to go from broke and alone in a shit flat in Birmingham, so miserable I had a mind-melting but brief depressive breakdown…. to making thousands per month, working just a few hours, having the time of my life adventuring around the World, and making six figures on my business sale, in 18 months!

      Sooooo, why are there two different courses?

       

      Well, 1. Insta Ballin has a super detailed (but still step-by-step) formula that took 178 pages for me to walk through. It’s powerful and no one is doing this, but there are lots of nuances. Pinterest is much more streamlined, meaning I could cover everything in a shapely 83 pages 😅

      Aaaaaand, unfortunately: 2. Because despite Pinterest having made me 2x the cash that Instagram has, no one cares about being awesome with Pinterest.  

      Pinterest is insanely powerful, and that’s in part because there’s so little competition. People don’t think it works, so they don’t use it.

      So while you’re grabbing Insta Ballin to make crazy cash as well as live that influencer life via The Gram, I suggest you also grab Pinterest Pimpin as well.

      It’s always great to have multiple strong traffic sources. At some point the world will catch on to the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is clearly a scaly reptilian alien wearing a human skin, making Instagram implode:

      See, just casually drinking water, like any normal human, sip, sip….

      Also, it’ll likely make you more money and take less time to keep on top of.

      So here we are. I’m throwing caution to the wind, promising you the world with reckless abandon, praying you’ll summon the courage to join me on this maverick journey.

      And by “join me on this maverick journey”, I mean “hand me your hard earned money as soon as possible without hesitation.”

      Ok. Enough frivolity for the moment, I guess I should tell you what these courses are all about:

      Insta Ballin

      1. IDENTIFY INFLUENCE

      Great artists steal. We dive into the platform, using a simple hack to uncover all of the top players. We pull apart every advantage they have and plug these into every part of our strategy to skyrocket success.

      3. CATCHING A WHALE

      We are Ahab! I reveal how I reinvest into my Instagram strategy, literally saving months of time and generating a traffic machine. Not only will build an army of white whale accounts, but we also upgrade them, netting yet another 2x value.

      5. PERMISSION AUTOPILOT

      If you’ve got to this point and your sphincter is thoroughly puckered, that’s because you’ve been reminded that we’re going to run multiple Instagram accounts, and there’s just no way you can keep on top of all that content.

      Well let me reassure you, it will be tens or hundreds of accounts.

      Relaxed now?

      You should be because I have strategies to generate an unlimited amount of top-tier quality for your accounts, all legal, all on autopilot.

      2. SWARM TACTICS

      This trick allowed me 20x the value of my Instagram account. Learn how to channel the swarm, automating numerous Instagram accounts to test all of the content in a niche at once. Once we’re sure of the most valuable audience, we can strike!

      4. HASHTAG LADDERS

      My oldest and still one of my most powerful strategies. This is how to use hashtags the right way! We look at exactly how I find and more importantly, structure,  the most powerful hashtags so that your posts go viral. What’s more, the massive engagement your content gets will protect your accounts against pesky algorithm changes.

      6. THE CONTENT LOOP

      Do you love spending inordinate hours of your day posting content? Or sacrificing half a day each weekend to schedule content?

      No. You don’t.

      So let’s never do that again. We combine the most engaging content, in beautifully branded feeds, with 100% autopilot posting. That’s right, you’ll never need to post or even schedule content when you do this.

      7. TRIBE BEACON

      So you’ve got a huge network of accounts, all pumping out that Heisenberg grade content, next up you need to get that in front of the hardcore Insta junkies.

      We use our research to get our content-crack in front of the most engaged people in your niche, giving your accounts massive engagement, growth, and clicks.

      8. GUARANTEED VIRAL

      Finally, we look at how I get an unreasonable amount of growth from my accounts. This training covers all of the ways you overcome the algorithm to grow at thousands, to hundreds of thousands of followers, PER DAY. If you pull these off right, you can launch an entire brand overnight.

      Insta Ballin

      1. IDENTIFY INFLUENCE

      Great artists steal. We dive into the platform, using a simple hack to uncover all of the top players. We pull apart every advantage they have and plug these into every part of our strategy to skyrocket success.

      2. SWARM TACTICS

      This trick allowed me 20x the value of my Instagram account. Learn how to channel the swarm, creating numerous Instagram accounts to test all of the content in a niche at once. Once we’re sure of the most valuable audience, we can strike!

      3. CATCHING A WHALE

      We are Ahab! I reveal how I reinvest into my Instagram strategy, literally saving months of time and generating a traffic machine. Not only will build an army of white whale accounts, but we also upgrade them, netting yet another 2x value.

      4. HASHTAG LADDERS

      My oldest and still one of my most powerful strategies. This is how to use hashtags the right way! We look at exactly how I find and more importantly, structure,  the most powerful hashtags so that your posts go viral. What’s more, the massive engagement your content gets will protect your accounts against pesky algorithm changes.

      5. PERMISSION AUTOPILOT

      If you’ve got to this point and your sphincter is thoroughly puckered, that’s because you’ve been reminded that we’re going to run multiple Instagram accounts, and there’s just no way you can keep on top of all that content.

      Well let me reassure you, it will be tens or hundreds of accounts.

      Relaxed now?

      You should be because I have strategies to generate an unlimited amount of top-tier quality for your accounts, all legal, all on autopilot.

      6. THE CONTENT LOOP

      Do you love spending inordinate hours of your day posting content? Or sacrificing half a day each weekend to schedule content?

      No. You don’t.

      So let’s never do that again. We combine the most engaging content, in beautifully branded feeds, with 100% autopilot posting. That’s right, you’ll never need to post or even schedule content when you do this.

      7. TRIBE BEACON

      So you’ve got a huge network of accounts, all pumping out that Heisenberg grade content, next up you need to get that in front of the hardcore Insta junkies.

      We use our research to get our content-coke in front of the most engaged people in your niche, giving your accounts massive engagement, growth, and clicks.

      8. GUARANTEED VIRAL

      Finally, we look at how I get an unreasonable amount of growth from my accounts. This training covers all of the ways you overcome the algorithm to grow at thousands, to hundreds of thousands of followers, PER DAY. If you pull these off right, you can launch an entire brand overnight.

      Pinterest Pimpin

      1. LOCATE THE WINNERS  

      A cunning plan to dissect Pinterest and it’s top performers. We’ll disassemble the ruling class and plot our meteoric rise to replace them. This initial scouting saves us literally weeks of wasted effort.

       

      3. UNLIMITED CONTENT

      Posting content is for pleasure…..and robots…. .but not pleasure-robots 🙄..  If you want hoards of traffic, we’ll need to subjugate those conniving machines.

      We run through the most powerful software and content strategy to entirely automate your Pinterest account. That’s it. When you’ve done this, you don’t need to find any more content to repin. EVER.

       

      5. REVEAL THE ELITE

      We cover the secret extra tool I use to DOMINATE Pinterest. I reveal the tool that can find the top 0.1%, MOST-VIRAL content in your niche. We then draw inspiration from this to ensure our content out-performs all competition from day one!

       

      7. THE MOST VIRAL

      Now for the most exciting bit!

      More. Damn. Data.

      Now we’ve learned what the most powerful content for our niche on all of Pinterest. We poke and prod it, searching for squishy bits. When the soft underbelly is revealed, we strike 🐍, annihilating it with a perfectly engineered storm of content the likes of which the world has never seen!

      Got a little carried away* there… anyway… we learn exactly what traits contribute to the perfect pin, and we improve upon it.

      Wild.

      *and perhaps aroused…

      2. PROFILE PERFECTION

      Prepare to pull together the Frankenstein’s Monster of Pinterest perfection! We put our glorious data to use, building an irresistible profile from the get-go.

       

      4. AUTOPILOT FOLLOWERS

      Silly robots, did you think we were done with you… To unleash a viral torrent of traffic, you first need to quickly gain an audience of seeders. We cover the best strategy to attract power users that promote your content so you don’t have to. Once again, we set this up once and it runs forever.

       

      6. RECRUIT THE CROWD

      Rapidly access massive additional audiences to explode your content across the four corners of the internet, before you even have your own following. Combo-wombo-bombo: We also repurpose and automate this into the fastest way to grow a following on the platform – no exceptions 💥

       

       

      8. HEADLINE HYPERDRIVE

      Are we satisfied just dominating the niche?

      NO!

      We learn how to make our pins perform even better! Understand the subtle art of poking people’s monkey brains. We pull apart how to create the most powerful headlines for your blog posts and pins, boosting their viral potential well over 9000.

       

      9. TRAFFICPOCALYPSE NOW

      Defcon 1 initiated.

      We pull together all of this arcane knowledge to create monstrously viral content that unleashes a tidal wave of traffic to your website. We build a super simple system, allowing you to easily automate everything.

      Get ready for the fun! How do thousands of clicks a day on autopilot sound?

      Grab your margarita, give Danika a call, you’re officially a Pinterest Pimp 😉

      Pinterest Pimpin

      1. LOCATE THE WINNERS  

      A cunning plan to dissect Pinterest and it’s top performers. We’ll disassemble the ruling class and plot our meteoric rise to replace them. This initial scouting saves us literally weeks of wasted effort.

      2. PROFILE PERFECTION

      Prepare to pull together the peerless Frankenstein’s Monster of Pinterest perfection! We put our glorious data to use, building an irresistible profile from the get-go.

      3. UNLIMITED CONTENT

      Posting content is for pleasure…..and robots…. .but not pleasure-robots 🙄..  If you want hoards of traffic, we’ll need to subjugate those conniving machines.

      We run through the most powerful software and content strategy to entirely automate your Pinterest account. That’s it. When you’ve done this, you don’t need to find any more content to repin. EVER.

      4. AUTOPILOT FOLLOWERS

      Silly robots, did you think we were done with you… To unleash a viral torrent of traffic, you first need to quickly gain an audience of seeders. We cover the best strategy to attract power users that promote your content so you don’t have to. Once again, we set this up once and it runs forever.

      5. REVEAL THE ELITE

      We cover the secret extra tool I use to DOMINATE Pinterest. I reveal the tool that can find the top 0.1%, MOST-VIRAL content in your niche. We then draw inspiration from this to ensure our content out-performs all competition from day one!

      6. RECRUIT THE CROWD

      Rapidly access massive additional audiences to explode your content across the four corners of the internet, before you even have your own following. Combo-wombo-bombo: We also repurpose and automate this into the fastest way to grow a following on the platform – no exceptions 💥

      7. THE MOST VIRAL

      Now for the most exciting bit!

      More. Damn. Data.

      Now we’ve learned what the most powerful content for our niche on all of Pinterest. We poke and prod it, searching for squishy bits. When the soft underbelly is revealed, we strike 🐍, annihilating it with a perfectly engineered storm of content the likes of which the world has never seen!

      Got a little carried away* there… anyway… we learn exactly what traits contribute to the perfect pin, and we improve upon it.

      Wild.

      *and perhaps aroused…  

      8. HEADLINE HYPERDRIVE

      Are we satisfied just dominating the niche?

      NO!

      We learn how to make our pins perform even better! Understand the subtle art of poking people’s monkey brains. We pull apart how to create the most powerful headlines for your blog posts and pins, boosting their viral potential well over 9000.

      9. TRAFFICPOCALYPSE NOW

      Defcon 1 initiated.

      We pull together all of this arcane knowledge to create monstrously viral content that unleashes a tidal wave of traffic to your website. We build a super simple system, allowing you to easily automate everything.

      Get ready for the fun! How do thousands of clicks a day on autopilot sound?

      Grab your margarita, give Danika a call, you’re officially a Pinterest Pimp 😉

      but there’s no way this will work for me! 

       

      Incorrect. 

      Try again please.

      These platforms are so massive, your audience is on there. 

      And if for some insane reason they weren’t, that doesn’t mean you can’t build an audience and then find something to sell to them. 

      You want money and freedom of time. There are lots of ways to achieve that. 

      To back this up, I have shared many of these techniques with friends and coaching clients, and admittedly to some personal surprise, it fucking works!

       

      Here’s some of the cool shit they’ve been able to achieve with my help, in yoga, mental health and just general money making 😎. Only one is cunningly fabricated, but I’ll let you stretch your noir sleuthing skills:

      My business was started as a part-time venture, while I worked a corporate job and traveled the world as I built it. My time is valuable to me and I’ve had severely limited finances to invest in ads or fancy marketing ideas.

      As I built an online membership and products, I knew I needed to start implementing marketing practices. I finally reached out to Connor to try his methods. When I started at the beginning of April 2018, I had a meager email list of 150 people. My website views only averaged at 1,000 views a month and my Pinterest was at about 35,000 monthly views.

      Within a few months of easy work with Connor, my website views began averaging 17,000 views per month and my Pinterest is at a shocking 3,000,000 monthly views.

      I’ve also been able to grow my email list to 4,000 dedicated readers.

      The numbers are impressive, but what is even better is the simplicity of it all. Most marketers I have talked to told me that I would need to invest much more time and money into ad creation to make my business grow. I can proudly say that I haven’t spent a dime on advertising. Everything I’ve built has been done organically! 

      After seeing such success with my Pinterest growth, I have slowly been implementing some of Connor’s Instagram practices in the last quarter of 2018. Again, the results continue to amaze me. I spent limited time on the platform, but continue to grow my @theremoteyogi account by 50-100 followers a day and should cross 10,000 soon!

      Taryn Raine

      Founder, theremoteyogi.blog

      With Connor’s help, I’ve gone from having no social media presence to becoming one of the biggest influencers in mental health on Instagram with over 36,000 followers on @HowMental, in just one year. He is methodical and kind – and won’t get upset if you don’t follow his advice to a T (even though you know you really should!). I’m amazed at just how many amazing connections this has helped me to create in my industry – I now get into every single event I want – and I have to thank Connor for that.

      George Taktak

      Founder, Feeliom & HowMental

      I don’t over exaggerate when I say prior to working through Connors strategies I was literally a social media caveman – as in no personal FB, IG, Pinterest, Snapchat, Twitter etc.

      I was the definition of clueless and to be honest uninterested, seeing social media as pure procrastination.

      The fact that I was that ignorant now annoys me, knowing what I know now when I ran my first business would have seen us become a major player in our space. However I now run over 100 social media accounts, and work with numerous clients and brands, all from these strategies. The beauty of them are they’re infinitely scalable. I grow my accounts by 1000s of followers per month, and total over 100,000 followers, all while spending under 10 hours per month to make that happen.

      Regarding the man himself, Connor is meticulous in his working and testing on social media – a kind of davinci genius/mad savant. If it’s; possible, can be tested, and can work, he knows about it. If you’re serious about building something, I know he’ll be overjoyed to help.

      Zac Garton

      Connor’s an uber-awesome dude and is 100% responsible for my current success and happiness. He’s super clever and handsome and lovely. I’ve given him ALL of my money. I think your best move is to do the same.

      Connor McCreesh

      A previous mentor of mine; Vin Clancy, is the most well known Growth-Hacker in the world.

      He knows the best marketers in the world for EVERY platform. He lives in LA in the heart of everything social media and influencers.

      My point is, he know’s his shit, and here’s what he had to say about me and my marketing techniques:

      On my Instagram Hashtag Ladders strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “The surprising truth behind dependable, REAL Instagram growth (no follow/unfollow bullsh**) from people in your target niche who will be extremely eager to buy from you (Courtesy of a friend of mine who travels the world making a HUGE living from a single Instagram account)”

      On my Pinterest strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “Peek behind the scenes of the ONLY KNOWN strategy on the entire internet to go from 0-10,000 unique visits a day on Pinterest (any niche)…and use this “strange” method to get a constant flow of traffic to your site guaranteed!”

      Vin Clancy

      Author of “Secret Sauce: A step-by-step guide to growth hacking”. Founder of Magnific, Planet Ivy, Screen Robot.

      BUT THERE’S NO WAY THIS WILL WORK FOR ME! 

       

      Incorrect. 

      Try again please.

      These platforms are so massive, your audience is on there. 

      And if for some insane reason they weren’t, that doesn’t mean you can’t build an audience and then find something to sell to them. 

      You want money and freedom of time. There are lots of ways to achieve that. 

      To back this up, I have shared many of these techniques with friends and coaching clients, and admittedly to some personal surprise, it fucking works!

      Here’s some of the cool shit they’ve been able to achieve with my help, in yoga, mental health and just general money making 😎. Only one is cunningly fabricated, but I’ll let you stretch your noir sleuthing skills:

      My business was started as a part-time venture, while I worked a corporate job and traveled the world as I built it. My time is valuable to me and I’ve had severely limited finances to invest in ads or fancy marketing ideas.

      As I built an online membership and products, I knew I needed to start implementing marketing practices. I finally reached out to Connor to try his methods. When I started at the beginning of April 2018, I had a meager email list of 150 people. My website views only averaged at 1,000 views a month and my Pinterest was at about 35,000 monthly views.

      Within a few months of easy work with Connor, my website views began averaging 17,000 views per month and my Pinterest is at a shocking 3,000,000 monthly views.

      I’ve also been able to grow my email list to 4,000 dedicated readers.

      The numbers are impressive, but what is even better is the simplicity of it all. Most marketers I have talked to told me that I would need to invest much more time and money into ad creation to make my business grow. I can proudly say that I haven’t spent a dime on advertising. Everything I’ve built has been done organically! 

      After seeing such success with my Pinterest growth, I have slowly been implementing some of Connor’s Instagram practices in the last quarter of 2018. Again, the results continue to amaze me. I spent limited time on the platform, but continue to grow my @theremoteyogi account by 50-100 followers a day and should cross 10,000 soon!

      Taryn Raine

      Founder, theremoteyogi.blog

      With Connor’s help, I’ve gone from having no social media presence to becoming one of the biggest influencers in mental health on Instagram with over 36,000 followers on @HowMental, in just one year. He is methodical and kind – and won’t get upset if you don’t follow his advice to a T (even though you know you really should!). I’m amazed at just how many amazing connections this has helped me to create in my industry – I now get into every single event I want – and I have to thank Connor for that.

      George Taktak

      Founder, Feeliom & HowMental

      I don’t over exaggerate when I say prior to working through Connors strategies I was literally a social media caveman – as in no personal FB, IG, Pinterest, Snapchat, Twitter etc.

      I was the definition of clueless and to be honest uninterested, seeing social media as pure procrastination.

      The fact that I was that ignorant now annoys me, knowing what I know now when I ran my first business would have seen us become a major player in our space. However I now run over 100 social media accounts, and work with numerous clients and brands, all from these strategies. The beauty of them are they’re infinitely scalable. I grow my accounts by 1000s of followers per month, and total over 100,000 followers, all while spending under 10 hours per month to make that happen.

      Regarding the man himself, Connor is meticulous in his working and testing on social media – a kind of davinci genius/mad savant. If it’s; possible, can be tested, and can work, he knows about it. If you’re serious about building something, I know he’ll be overjoyed to help.

      Zac Garton

      Connor’s an uber-awesome dude and is 100% responsible for my current success and happiness. He’s super clever and handsome and lovely. I’ve given him ALL of my money. I think your best move is to do the same.

      Connor McCreesh

      A PREVIOUS MENTOR OF MINE; VIN CLANCY, IS THE MOST WELL KNOWN GROWTH-HACKER IN THE WORLD.

      He knows the best marketers in the world for EVERY platform. He lives in LA in the heart of everything social media and influencers.

      My point is, he know’s his shit, and here’s what he had to say about my marketing techniques, as well as featuring me in a post along side the likes of Gretta Ven Riel, Dan Meredith, Charlie Price, Josh Fletcher, Gallant Dill and more (Google them, all are social media giants, many with multiple 7-figure successes).

      On my Instagram Hashtag Ladders strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “The surprising truth behind dependable, REAL Instagram growth (no follow/unfollow bullsh**) from people in your target niche who will be extremely eager to buy from you (Courtesy of a friend of mine who travels the world making a HUGE living from a single Instagram account)”

      On my Pinterest strategy featured in his “Secret Sauce” book:

      “Peek behind the scenes of the ONLY KNOWN strategy on the entire internet to go from 0-10,000 unique visits a day on Pinterest (any niche)…and use this “strange” method to get a constant flow of traffic to your site guaranteed!”

      Vin Clancy

      Author of “Secret Sauce: A step-by-step guide to growth hacking”. Founder of Magnific, Planet Ivy, Screen Robot, WorldsBestAgency.

      Bonus: Lifetime access and free updates to the course.

      Yep I know, seems like grasping for straws as a “bonus”, but, you’d be wrong.

      This course is CURRENTLY delivered as an ebook.

       

      Well why the hell isn’t it an in-depth video course, delivered by an interactive chatbot that has a direct line to you, so we can shoot over any questions or ideas as they arise?”

       

      You politely inquire.

      Well, it’s funny you should ask, as that’s exactly what I have planned.

      Alas, my spirit animal is a potato.

      So that sounds like a terrifying amount of work to get done in one go, so bone-chilling in fact, that I’d likely keep putting it off in favor of all the exciting travel adventures I have thrust upon me weekly.

      Lucky for you, I’ve made a compromise:

      • I’ll make the entire contents of the course as an ebook.
      • I’ll sell it at a discount.
      • When I make the revised version(s), which will be more expensive, I’ll give a free upgrade to anyone that purchased an earlier version.

      There’s no reason for you to wait on this, it will get more expensive, and whilst you wait, more people will be using these strategies to take advantage of all the easy wins still open on Instagram and Pinterest.

      WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE PRICE, CONNOR?!? I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY.”

      Oh wow 😶, could you watch that language please…

      Bonus: Lifetime access and free updates to the course.

      Yep I know, seems like grasping for straws as a “bonus”, but, you’d be wrong.

      This course is CURRENTLY delivered as an ebook.

       

      Well why the hell isn’t it an in-depth video course, delivered by an interactive chatbot that has a direct line to you, so we can shoot over any questions or ideas as they arise?”

       

      You politely inquire.

      Well, it’s funny you should ask, as that’s exactly what I have planned.

      Alas, my spirit animal is a potato.

      So that sounds like a terrifying amount of work to get done in one go, so bone-chilling in fact, that I’d likely keep putting it off in favor of all the exciting travel adventures I have thrust upon me weekly.

      Lucky for you, I’ve made a compromise:

      • I’ll make the entire contents of the course as an ebook.
      • I’ll sell it at a discount.
      • When I make the revised version(s), which will be more expensive, I’ll give a free upgrade to anyone that purchased an earlier version.

      There’s no reason for you to wait on this, it will get more expensive, and whilst you wait, more people will be using these strategies to take advantage of all the easy wins still open on Instagram and Pinterest.

      WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE PRICE, CONNOR?!? I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY.”

      Oh wow 😶, could you watch that language please…

      I’m not joking when I say these are valued at at least $130,000, that’s how much I made using these methods in the 18 months I ran my fitness business. What’s more, I spent a lot of that time figuring this stuff out and trialling things that didn’t work, so it’s arguably worth more.

       

      ON TOP OF THAT – I then made an extra $120,000 selling the business, so arguably the total value here is $¼ million. Lots of people make up some bullshit value for their training, mine’s backed up with real numbers.

       

      Pinterest Pimpin and Insta Ballin are full A-Z guides. Everything you need to know is included so you can go from zero to knowing everything I know for these platforms. It took a lot of time and effort to pull this together into a coherent, step-by-step training. 

        

      Most important for you: If I gave it for free, you wouldn’t do it. If you’re this far down the page, you already know you need to buy this, you’re just trying to rationalize a smart reason not to.

       

      So let me sum it up for you: YOU WILL NOT FIND MORE VALUABLE TRAINING ON THESE PLATFORMS.

      ANYWHERE.

      If you don’t pay, you won’t throw yourself into making these work.

      You know it.

      I know it.

      So give me your money, do the training, let me know if you’re having issues. ([email protected] or @connor.mccreesh)

      I’ll make you a success if it’s the last fucking thing I do.

      I’m not joking when I say these are valued at at least $130,000, that’s how much I made using these methods in the 18 months I ran my fitness business. What’s more, I spent a lot of that time figuring this stuff out and trialling things that didn’t work, so it’s arguably worth more.

       

      ON TOP OF THAT – I then made an extra $120,000 selling the business, so arguably the total value here is $¼ million. Lots of people make up some bullshit value for their training, mine’s backed up with real numbers.

       

      Pinterest Pimpin and Insta Ballin are full A-Z guides. Everything you need to know is included so you can go from zero to knowing everything I know for these platforms. It took a lot of time and effort to pull this together into a coherent, step-by-step training. 

        

      Most important for you: If I gave it for free, you wouldn’t do it. If you’re this far down the page, you already know you need to buy this, you’re just trying to rationalise a smart reason not to.

      So let me sum it up for you: YOU WILL NOT FIND MORE VALUABLE TRAINING ON THESE PLATFORMS.

      ANYWHERE.

      If you don’t pay, you won’t throw yourself into making these work.

      You know it.

      I know it.

      So give me your money, do the training, let me know if you’re having issues. ([email protected] or @connor.mccreesh)

      I’ll make you a success if it’s the last fucking thing I do.

      How About I Pay You?

       

      You heard me….

      I am so confident that these are the most powerful, most effective, and most repeatable strategies you can find for success on Instagram and Pinterest, that I will not only refund anyone that can’t make this work, I’ll double your money.

      If you can’t get massive results within 6 months, I’ll refund you 2x what you paid.

      Makes this all seem a little more like an intelligence test, doesn’t it?

      oooo, gold internet badge, now I’m convinced…

      That’s my 6 month guarantee.

      For the craftier amongst you, you know, the ones that will claim to have accidentally bought this, after spending close to an hour reading a pitchy blog post about it….

      Yes, to you, you get my full 30 days, no questions asked refund. I mean, I may ask, “You’re seriously trying that line after I explicitly called it out in the post that you’re pretending you didn’t read….?”

      But otherwise, no questions. What can I say, I’m a hardcore adrenaline junkie willing to take any risk for a sweet fix.

      How About I Pay You?

       

      You heard me….

      I am so confident that these are the most powerful, most effective, and most repeatable strategies you can find for success on Instagram and Pinterest, that I will not only refund anyone that can’t make this work, I’ll double your money.

      If you can’t get massive results within 6 months, I’ll refund you 2x what you paid.

      Makes this all seem a little more like an intelligence test, doesn’t it?

      oooo, gold internet badge, now I’m convinced…

      That’s my 6 month guarantee.

      For the craftier amongst you, you know, the ones that will claim to have accidentally bought this, after spending close to an hour reading a pitchy blog post about it….

      Yes, to you, you get my full 30 days, no questions asked refund. I mean, I may ask, “You’re seriously trying that line after I explicitly called it out in the post that you’re pretending you didn’t read….?”

      But otherwise, no questions. What can I say, I’m a hardcore adrenaline junkie willing to take any risk for a sweet fix.

      WARNING: Do Not Buy This Training If:

       

      1. You glean a deep sense of meaning from smiling dutifully at yet another of your supervisors, witless jokes.
      1. You think that laughter, happiness and in any way attempting to live a fulfilling life are vastly overrated, and likely just a corporate conspiracy designed to subjugate you (likely distributed via those chemtrails).
      1. You enjoy training that confronts you with a bewildering panoply of nifty account suggestions and ideas, instead of getting a step by step, “idiot-proof” formula that even Danika would have a hard time fucking up.
      1. You think that any level of work is just all too much, preferring to “make the smart bet”, sit on your fat ass, and exclaim that “The Bitcoin price will bounce back any day now and I’ll be rich”, without a hint of parody.

      You should probably buy this product if:

       

      1. You’re not an insufferable tosser like the one described above.

      2. The unbearable torment of following your parents sound career advice is finally too much and you’re ready to strike out on your own, finally working towards a life YOU want.

      3. You want a system that can make you money while you fill your time with fun stuff, you know; climbing mountains, learning to salsa, or sitting in your clauset wearing a tin foil hat and munching on gummy worms.

      4. You want to get an utterly unfair advantage over all the competition by using uniquely powerful and scalable strategies.

      WARNING: Do Not Buy This Training If:

       

      1. You glean a deep sense of meaning from smiling dutifully at yet another of your supervisors, witless jokes.
      1. You think that laughter, happiness and in any way attempting to live a fulfilling life are vastly overrated, and likely just a corporate conspiracy designed to subjugate you (likely distributed via those chemtrails).
      1. You enjoy training that confronts you with a bewildering panoply of nifty account suggestions and ideas, instead of getting a step by step, “idiot-proof” formula that even Danika would have a hard time fucking up.
      1. You think that any level of work is just all too much, preferring to “make the smart bet”, sit on your fat ass, and exclaim that “The Bitcoin price will bounce back any day now and I’ll be rich”, without a hint of parody.

      You should probably buy this product if:

       

      1. You’re not an insufferable tosser like the one described above.

      2. The unbearable torment of following your parents sound career advice is finally too much and you’re ready to strike out on your own, finally working towards a life YOU want.

      3. You want a system that can make you money while you fill your time with fun stuff, you know; climbing mountains, learning to salsa, or sitting in your clauset wearing a tin foil hat and munching on gummy worms.

      4. You want to get an utterly unfair advantage over all the competition by using uniquely powerful and scalable strategies.

      ALERT! BUY SOON, OR ELSE BAD THING WILL HAPPEN!

       

       

      I’ve NEVER released these strategies in a form vaguely as comprehensive

      Right fucking now, is the easiest time you’ll have making a crazy success of this. The more people that are trying this, the more competition it will be and the harder you’ll have to work to crush it. So may as well get in early, get a massive head start and be the leader in your niche.

      Also, I’m going to increase the price.

      Not in like a pretend internet countdown type way. Like ooo, if you don’t buy in three days the price will double because an international information embargo is about to come into effect and I’ll have to start paying to copy-paste the files….

      No, I’ll double the price as in soon I rework the program into an interactive video course because it will take me an ungodly amount of time and effort to do (again, buying now gets a free upgrade to that).

      This could be in a few weeks or a few months, I don’t know, I get distracted eas…

       

      Sorry, what?

      Anyway, you’ve got two choices:

      1. Waste like an hour of your life reading this whole blog post, reassure yourself that not only have you got the time, but also the inclination to figure all of this shit out yourself, and then spend $297 for a therapist to listen to you whine about how you didn’t really want to change your life.

      Or…

      1. Steal all of my painstakingly developed strategies and secrets, and start creating your most awesome life within weeks.

      Think about where you want to be in 6 months. It happened for me, it can happen for you as well.

      ALERT! BUY SOON, OR ELSE BAD THING WILL HAPPEN!

       

       

      I’ve NEVER released these strategies in a form vaguely as comprehensive

      Right fucking now, is the easiest time you’ll have making a crazy success of this. The more people that are trying this, the more competition it will be and the harder you’ll have to work to crush it. So may as well get in early, get a massive head start and be the leader in your niche.

      Also, I’m going to increase the price.

      Not in like a pretend internet countdown type way. Like ooo, if you don’t buy in three days the price will double because an international information embargo is about to come into effect and I’ll have to start paying to copy-paste the files….

      No, I’ll double the price as in soon I rework the program into an interactive video course because it will take me an ungodly amount of time and effort to do (again, buying now gets a free upgrade to that).

      This could be in a few weeks or a few months, I don’t know, I get distracted eas…

       

      Sorry, what?

      Anyway, you’ve got two choices:

      1. Waste like an hour of your life reading this whole blog post, reassure yourself that not only have you got the time, but also the inclination to figure all of this shit out yourself, and then spend $297 on a therapist, to whom you’ll whine about how you didn’t really want to change your life.

      Or…

      1. Steal all of my painstakingly developed strategies and secrets, and start creating your most awesome life within weeks.

      Think about where you want to be in 6 months. It happened for me, it can happen for you as well.

      But I Have SO Many Important Questions for You…

       

      Wonderful……

      Will I have to spend more money when I buy this?

      We use a number of advanced software and these have low monthly costs (approximately $50 per month total). This software massively increases your results, cut down your time involved and honestly will pay for themselves FAST. Again, I managed all of this when I was completely broke, so it’s SUPER cash efficient.

      How Long will it take me to become a baller?

      That very much depends on how much time and intensity you direct at this! I started making money within 4-6 weeks and after 3-4 months I was making a few thousands bucks per month. I didn’t have an A-Z guide like this training and had to make a load of mistakes along the way. 

      Take a second to think about this, what were you doing one year ago, was it much different to today? 

      If you buy and do what is in these trainings, within one year I completely guarantee that you can have the time, cash and location freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, even if you have a job and can’t invest all of your days into this.

      For more backup, look over the reviews again. My friends just followed some of my advice, usually working with me for one day to get crazy results in a few months. You get absolutely every detail of my strategies in a handy format that you can constantly refer to. 

      Bro, automation will kill your Instagram account, everyone knows that.

      It may surprise you to know that for exactly the entire time I’ve been doing this, people with tiny followings have been bemoaning automation, wagging their fingers in my direction and sternly reminding me; “you’ll get blocked, and shadowbanned, and then you’ll see! Mwahahaa”.

      And for precisely as much time, I’ve been growing hundreds of massive accounts and getting none of them blocked. So, channel your finest Sherlock Holmes an deduce your answer. 

      Yes, if you’re dumb, this can happen, but I’m not. And after this training, you won’t be either.f

      But bro… you can find ANY information online. Trust me…

      After spending lots of money on training programs that rehashed readily available content, you’re forgiven for thinking that ALL great findings are indeed shared for free via the magic of the internet.

      However, you should think this, only if you enjoy being wrong.

      Free (and 90% of paid) content generally ends at an intermediate level. It’s only when you’re actually in the deep weeds of a platform, performing hundreds of tests, that you get to the really advanced stuff. If you’re making plenty of cash from performing these strategies, you have little incentive to write out and share all of your gold.

      That’s what I’ve done, and that’s what you’re paying for. That high level, pure, grade A shit.

      So if I buy this, how long do I have access?

      Forever my young padawan.

      The course is currently in an ebook format, but will soon* be updated to an interactive video course. If you buy now, you lock in the cheaper price and get the upgrade for freeeeeeeee.

      *on some timescale… hopefully not geological.

       

      There’s no more reading, just make a decision, Are you not bored of letting life pass you by?

      “But I Have SO Many Important Questions for You…”

       

      Wonderful……

      Will I have to spend more money when I buy this?

      We use a number of advanced software and these have low monthly costs (approximately $50 per month total). This software massively increases your results, cut down your time involved and honestly will pay for themselves FAST. Again, I managed all of this when I was completely broke, so it’s SUPER cash efficient.

      HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE ME TO BECOME A BALLER?

      That very much depends on how much time and intensity you direct at this! I started making money within 4-6 weeks and after 3-4 months I was making a few thousands bucks per month. I didn’t have an A-Z guide like this training and had to make a load of mistakes along the way. 

      Take a second to think about this, what were you doing one year ago, was it much different to today? 

      If you buy and do what is in these trainings, within one year I completely guarantee that you can have the time, cash and location freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, even if you have a job and can’t invest all of your days into this.

      For more backup, look over the reviews again. My friends just followed some of my advice, usually working with me for one day to get crazy results in a few months. You get absolutely every detail of my strategies in a handy format that you can constantly refer to. 

      Bro, automation will kill your Instagram account, everyone knows that.

      It may surprise you to know that for exactly the entire time I’ve been doing this, people with tiny followings have been bemoaning automation, wagging their fingers in my direction and sternly reminding me; “you’ll get blocked, and shadowbanned, and then you’ll see! Mwahahaa”.

      And for precisely as much time, I’ve been growing hundreds of massive accounts and getting none of them blocked. So, channel your finest Sherlock Holmes an deduce your answer.

      Yes, if you’re dumb, this can happen, but I’m not. And after this training, you won’t be either.f

      But bro… you can find ANY information online. Trust me…

      After spending lots of money on training programs that rehashed readily available content, you’re forgiven for thinking that ALL great findings are indeed shared for free via the magic of the internet.

      However, you should think this, only if you enjoy being wrong.

      Free (and 90% of paid) content generally ends at an intermediate level. It’s only when you’re actually in the deep weeds of a platform, performing hundreds of tests, that you get to the really advanced stuff. If you’re making plenty of cash from performing these strategies, you have little incentive to write out and share all of your gold.

      That’s what I’ve done, and that’s what you’re paying for. That high level, pure, grade A shit.

      So if I buy this, how long do I have access?

      Forever my young padawan.

      The course is currently in an ebook format, but will soon* be updated to an interactive video course. If you buy now, you lock in the cheaper price and get the upgrade for freeeeeeeee.

      *on some timescale… hopefully not geological.

       

      There’s no more reading, just make a decision, Are You Not Bored Of Letting life pass you by?

       

      P.S.

      If for some bizarre reason you’ve opted to skip reading the page, in hopes of finding some neat little summary here, well 1. You’re the worst. 2. Ughh fine:

      • These courses cover EVERYTHING you need, A-Z to get colossal amounts of traffic to your website.
      • I’m really talking a lot. You can’t not make money from this much traffic.
      • You’ll build a massive Instagram following which you can use to get free travel opportunities or pick up chicks with really skewed ideas about success in da klurb.
      • You’ll be a master of viral, able to use it to conquer other platforms.
      • You’ll achieve all of this with a system that you can automate allowing you to “work” less and have fun more.

      No catch. No gimmicks.

      If you have zero control over your impulse buying, I’ll give you a full refund within 30 days.

      If you actually intend to try the whole system, rest assured that I’m so confident it works, that I’ll double refund you if you can’t get success within 6 months.

      In 6 months you could be living your dream life, chilling in infinity pools over rice paddies in Bali, or you can still be stuck in your cold miserable flat, with your soul-destroying job, wondering “what if”.

      P.S.S

      Fuck, okay, here goes the secret weapon.

      I’ve almost exhausted my arsenal with the smug sales letter thinly veiled as a motivational blog post. If it hasn’t convinced you to buy Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin, this sure will.

      BE WARNED: This contains a litany of devious, subtle and irresistible psychological warfare tactics, guaranteed to persuade even the most resistant to cough up the cash…

       

      P.S.

      If for some bizarre reason you’ve opted to skip reading the page, in hopes of finding some neat little summary here, well 1. You’re the worst. 2. Ughh fine:

      • These courses cover EVERYTHING you need, A-Z to get colossal amounts of traffic to your website.
      • I’m really talking a lot. You can’t not make money from this much traffic.
      • You’ll build a massive Instagram following which you can use to get free travel opportunities or pick up chicks with really skewed ideas about success in da klurb.
      • You’ll be a master of viral, able to use it to conquer other platforms.
      • You’ll achieve all of this with a system that you can automate allowing you to “work” less and have fun more.

      No catch. No gimmicks.

      If you have zero control over your impulse buying, I’ll give you a full refund within 30 days.

      If you actually intend to try the whole system, rest assured that I’m so confident it works, that I’ll double refund you if you can’t get success within 6 months.

      In 6 months you could be living your dream life, chilling in infinity pools over rice paddies in Bali, or you can still be stuck in your cold miserable flat, with your soul-destroying job, wondering “what if”.

      P.S.S

      Fuck, okay, here goes the secret weapon.

      I’ve almost exhausted my arsenal with the smug sales letter thinly veiled as a motivational blog post. If it hasn’t convinced you to buy Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin, this sure will.

      BE WARNED: This contains a litany of devious, subtle and irresistible psychological warfare tactics, guaranteed to persuade even the most resistant to cough up the cash…

       

      Depression, My Secret Power for Personal Growth and Fulfillment

      Depression, My Secret Power for Personal Growth and Fulfillment

      Depression, My Secret Power for Personal Growth and Fulfillment

      My Half Decade Journey to Recreate My Entire Life

      Originally published April 2018.

      This post has literally been in the writing for approaching two years. I’ve gone back and forth, editing and rearranging it, but it’s time enough.

      I want to share my story of a spiraling descent that had me a hair’s width from full mental breakdown, and flipping between locking myself in my room for days, and acting incredibly recklessly with my closest relationships.

      I want to talk about what depression is and isn’t (courtesy of science).

      I want to talk about how I believe that this horrific illness, with a LOT of work, can be used as the most potent driver of self transformation I’ve ever experienced. How misery so dark it sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it, can be the impetus that drives you to completely restructure everything in your life, from those ashes birthing something that you find truly extraordinary.

      But most of all, I want people to have a greater understanding of this illness.

      Often times it’s still shrugged off by society as weakness, when in fact having the vulnerability to even speak about it takes vast courage for a great number of men (generally).

      Western society as a whole still does a great job of projecting an image of the emotionless, tough guy as the perfect man. Out in the wilderness, felling trees with his hand axe and wrestling grizzly bears for laughs.

      I am maaaaaaannnn

      But here’s the big, grizzly problem with that image — it raises a massive amount of men that really don’t know how to deal with their emotions. Not only are they unable or unwilling to communicate their emotions to others, they don’t even know what their emotions feel like.

      The sad truth is that the biggest killer of men in many Western societies, isn’t car crashes or drugs, criminal violence or war, it’s themselves.

      In the UK, suicide is the largest killer of men under FORTY FUCKING FIVE. It breaks my heart to think of so many people, feeling so lost, so isolated and so unable to change their lives, that they feel the only resort is to take that life…

      A Lead Blanket and a Knot in Your Stomach.

      You’re under water, a metal barrel hoop is tight around your chest, it has enough room for you to breathe, but not by much.

      You’re slow, floating but heavy.

      Sounds are distant and muffled.

      You’re not in water, but thick tar.

      It’s difficult to move, you’re so tired.

      Leaving the house is exhausting. Replying to friends is exhausting. Getting out of bed is exhausting.

      So you shut down, switch your phone off, remain in bed, and watch every romantic comedy in existence whilst you survive on peanut butter, hoping that these elicit some feelings.

      They do not.

      Dating is near impossible.

      If you can manage to catch someone’s interest, how are you supposed to keep it, when 90% of the time the last thing you feel like is seeing to or talking to anyone.

      Gemma Correll

      Your ambition, all of your energy and motivation, these are all directed towards working for goals in your future, but you existing in the now, so they evaporate away.

      This pisses you off.

      You’re defined in a large part by your drive, enthusiasm and passion to do big things.

      That part of you is gone.

      You feel pretty sure that the driven part of you will come back, but again, that is in the future, which has little meaning for you.

      You get impatient and annoyed waking up each day, thinking “Is my motivation back?! Am I me again?!

      Only for the cold slap of reality to hit you in the face, and normally before you’re even up for 5 minutes and out of the shower.

      Nope. Still broken. And into nothingness you slide.

      Are you sad?

      Nope.

      You wish you felt sad.

      You feel nothing.

      You’re an empty husk.

      On the surface that is.

      Just below, a maelstrom rages…

      You’re subconscious is a vicious, raging storm of self doubt, worries, anxieties and potential situations blown so far out of reality, they border on insanity.

      But you don’t know this.

      You’ve no idea what these emotions feel like.

      You’ve spent all of your adult life up until now making a conscious decision to take any complex negative emotion, and to squish it down into a tiny box to bury somewhere in your depths.

      You just feel a knot in your stomach. A lethargy. A shutdown.

      And when you do get a glimpse at these feelings.

      When some are actually so intense they break through your decade built barrier of stifled emotions and shut down feelings.

      You are struck with such an intensely burning, yet bone chilling dread, you’ll find yourself feeling so trapped and helpless, that you just want to scream and cry, and act in ways that are so selfish and against your character, that you’ll start to question who you really are.

      Yup… Elysian Dreams Tumblr

      That is just a peak behind the curtain at what depression feels like.

      Guess what.

      It.

      Fucking.

      Sucks.

      I get depression.

      Due to what was a shocking lack of connection to my own emotions, I’m not even sure how long it has been happening for.

      At least 6 years I’d say.

      I’ve only been aware of it, and working my arse of to fix it for the last two years. And even still, with a colossal amount of self reflection, communication and personal work, I still get a mild but manageable wave every month or two.

      How did I get depression?

      So, I believe I’ve got a good handle on the inciting incident, and years later, the combination of life circumstances that started the typhoon of dread. All of the circumstances are varied, but all put me in a situation where I FELT trapped and thus panicked, and FELT like it was necessary for me to remain in those situations, and thus I did for far longer than was good for my health.

      1. Shooting Myself in the Foot

      I’m perhaps 14–15 years old. I’m in my first serious relationship. We’ve been together for about a year.

       

      Apart from the occasional rumor of my partner’s lack of faith, which I confidently brush off as just that; rumor, often with panicked persuasion from her. It seems to be going well.

       

      I think I’m in love.

      Yes, I’m aware of how silly this may sound, but a whole swathe of mental and social issues are ingrained in people in their teens and younger from experiences they find extremely traumatic.

      And what happened next sure felt extremely traumatic to me at the time.

      It comes to light, that she’s been cheating on me with MY BEST FRIEND. That he’s been secretly messaging her, hooking up with her, and convincing her that I’ll be happy if she breaks up with me to be with him.

       

      What’s more, after several story changes, she only tells me that she likes “one of my friends” when she finally shatters my illusion, and leaves me. A situation that he uses to quickly put the blame on my other closest friend, causing me to all at once have my little life shattered.

       

      My girlfriend and my two closest friends. Gone. I don’t know who to believe. I don’t know who to trust.

       

      It freaks me out so fucking much, that it’s one of my most vivid memories of my young teens.

      This didn’t start my depression, but it was almost certainly the inciting incident that caused me to change my personality in an unproductive way.

      I made the conscious decision that I wasn’t going to feel negative emotions. That I was just going to turn them off. And it worked, for a time. In fact, I really enjoyed that about me, for a time.

      I essentially practiced half of stoicism for the next 6–7 years. I decided not to react to my emotions. But unlike stoicism, I did not reflect on these emotions, on what they meant, on how I should make a measured reaction to them.

      I just squished them down so deep in side of my subconscious, that I needed not deal with them.

      This technique was operating on borrowed time.

      I’d shot myself in the foot.

      It was a dumb move. More dumb than internet people … 😑

      2. Cage of the Self Competition

      This is the first situation that caused me to realize I was depressed, to put a name to it.

      It’s my fourth and final year of university.

       

      I’ve selected to study physics as I want to learn how to universe works.

       

      I’m sure the problem solving and mindset it will give will be great for business, which I’ve been doing since I was 15–16.

      I do think that physics was really great for me. I absolutely loved learning it and I really do think it’s crazy helpful (it’s also Elon musk’s suggested degree, and that dude is doing okay I hear).

      But, I still find myself sitting in the senior tutors office, half way through my final year explaining to him that I just don’t care anymore, that I think I’m depressed.

       

      I’ve come to university to study physics because I wanted to learn about it. I don’t need the degree for a career.

       

      The conflict arises between this and my overly ambitious brain. Exacerbated by the fact that I’ve received a job offer in a marketing role, and the founder of the company had no interest in whether I get the degree or not.

       

      When I’m in lectures learning about physics, or running experiments, it’s awesome, I love it.

       

      But when it comes to exams, I just have no motivation to do well other than “I want to do well because I need to win”.

       

      This conflict is colossal for me. It’s this feeling that’s making me feel trapped.

       

      I won’t drop out or do worse because my competitive brain won’t let me.

       

      This is one of the first times I seriously consider that I’m medically depressed.

       

      Again, I cut down any thoughts of concern for my mental health, repressing any emotions and intelligent thoughts about quitting deep into my subconscious.

       

      In this final year, I grit my teeth and make myself work 10–15 hours almost every single day from the start of the summer holidays, until I finish my exams. So 10–11 months at that rate.

       

      I really, really have to recruit all of my brain drive. I force myself through a deep, overriding feeling that I don’t need the degree (true), that the final mark is just a stupid number (also true), and that there are better things I can be working on that will contribute much more towards my future (true again).

      Was it worth it?

      Fuck no.

      It did a number on my brain. For what? I could have tried 10x less to get the same degree without the top grade.

      But, do I regret it?

      No.

      In many ways, I really did love university. I made some amazing friends there and I don’t think I’d be half the person I am today if I didn’t go.

      As painful as it was to force myelf to do a year of straight lunatic work, this would serve me well when working long hours on my own business when I had to do less fulfilling parts of it.

      It gave me an incredible insight into a vast array of people, their motives, drives, and ultimately into the structure of society itself.

      University let me understand how the world actually works, and made me a better person on reflection, I just wish I could have had all of those benefits without breaking my brain.

      3. Cage of Fear

      I’ve graduated from university and am staying in a small converted shed in Worcestershire, rented on Airbnb with my girlfriend of seven years.

       

      She’s a sweet, kind girl, and has sacrificed a lot for me.

       

      She started university a year later than me, and so decided to join one in Derby, a city an hour away from where I studied in Birmingham, so we didn’t have to try long distance.

       

      She found a wildlife volunteering job about 20 minutes walk from where I lived, so she could stay over and work whilst I studied.

       

      She even went to great lengths to find a job that was close to Birmingham, as I’d already firmly said to her that I had a job here, and I only wanted to take it (more on my dream job next).

       

      She studied zoology, and as you might imagine, people love animals, and they’re willing to work for nothing or pennies to get a job with animals. This makes finding a decent job in the entire country difficult, let alone within an hour or so of one city.

       

      And me? Something just isn’t right with me, brewing deep inside.

       

      I just don’t feel that we want the same things, or that we are heading in the same direction.

       

      But guess what. I have no fucking idea how to communicate this. Again, because I’ve crushed all aptitude to communicate with my emotions deep into my subconscious, and thus I’m unable to understand and communicate them with others.

       

      The worst part is this issue doesn’t often creep into day to day life. But, when the emotions burst through, I realize very quickly that I feel horribly trapped. Instead of dealing with them, I go into complete emotional shutdown until they subsided.

       

      I spend months in that shed stuck in bed all day whilst she’s working a summer job.

       

      I’m meant to be building my business, Provos during this time in preparation to test pitch it to investors in India in a few months, but I’m not.

       

      I’m just sat in bed playing video games and watching movies. Anything to distract myself from focusing on the chasm of emptiness that pervades the rest of my existence.

       

      What I end up with is a relationship that in many ways is great, coupled with this orchestral, low rumbling dread that if they’re not the right person, then at some point we’ll have to break up.

       

      And as we both continue to grow and develop into the people we want to be. People that are less aligned with the futures of each other. That rumbling dread becomes a vicious, deafening chorus of pain.

       

      But there’s never a good time to break up.

       

      Breaking up fucking sucks.

       

      And guess what.

       

      The longer I leave it, the worse it gets. As the pressures and expectations of family, friends and my partner rise and rise.

       

      When are you getting a house together?

       

      When are you going to get married?

       

      When will you have grandchildren so I can have a baby girl to play with? (Mum 😑)

       

      As the clock ticks and ticks and the decision becomes more and more monumental.

       

      I just shut down.

       

      I’m crippled in a cage of fear for what happens to the lives we’ve so closely intertwined when I rip them apart.

       

      I feel fear because I know we’ll have to break up, I’ve known it for a long time, but I keep suppressing and forgetting, but it keeps building.

       

      I feel fear because she won’t see it coming and it will crush her, and I don’t want to do that.

       

      I find a near unlimited amount of reasons to put it off over and over, making me feel trapped and paralyzed.

      Waiting kills both of you. Action kills both of you. Sayuri1314 Deviant Art

      All at once, just a few days after Christmas, after months of trying to understand my depression, and starting to build the ability to communicate with my emotions and my partner, we have a conversation that ends everything in roughly 20 minutes.

       

      I’m shell shocked, and it’s miserable, but it’s necessary for us both to grow.

      So there’s depression trigger number two, being in a relationship with someone that through no fault of their own, no longer aligns with your future.

      I have no regrets about being in the relationship.

      I do of the many poor ways in which I handled parts of it, but I don’t regret it. It’s a big part of what’s built me into the person I am today. And I keep liking myself more and more, month by month.

      4. Cage of Apathy

      It’s university and I’ve been running the entrepreneurs society for a couple of years. I’ve met my future boss Mike via that several times.

       

      He’s a super awesome guy, really one of the most genuinely nice, patient guys I know, someone I’ve got loads of respect for.

       

      A natural entrepreneur, oozing charisma and fun.

       

      I know his company is growing so I pitch myself to him about a year before I finish my studies. He’s a part of the New Entrepreneurs Foundation, and suggests I apply for it.

      NEF pays a significant amount of money for you to receive world class business training. You work with a host company for a year, and your host company also pays a significant amount to NEF in part to pay for this training, as well as giving you one or two extra days off a month to go for training events in London.

      NEF seeks to build the business leaders of tomorrow and it’s an awesome program, where I’ve met some of the most impressive people I’ve ever encountered.

      Mike offers to be my host company if I’m able to get on to NEF. On top of this, he gives me an extra three weeks off near the start of my contract to go to India for three weeks to check out the entrepreneur ecosystem there and to test pitching the startup I’ve been working on for several years to investors and grant providers.

       

      I get on NEF, and I land what what is my dream job, or at least that’s what I convince myself.

       

      I can basically do anything I want, marketing or online business related, to make some more money for the company. I have free reign to try out any fun strategies I want. And this is completely irrespective of how my degree goes. I could drop out of university and still have this job.

       

      I’m so pumped for it, it’s perfect and exactly what I thought I was looking for.

       

      I know I can do online marketing, I’ve done it before. At this exact company even!

       

      During the summer before I start the job, when I’m living in the “shed”, I spend two weeks there, a brief period of relative positivity. I helped identify and develop a strategy that scales out to bring in the bulk of their revenue for months and months.

       

      I’m even more pumped up now. My brain is exploding with possibilities.

       

      But after I start. I just can’t move the needle.

       

      I try for months, I really do, but I just can’t muster the creativity, intelligence or persistence to develop effective marketing channels.

       

      I’m not working effectively, despite often being convinced I am.

       

      It confuses and frustrates me, a lot.

       

      A whole chunk of my self confidence is tied up in my ability to pull this off. Marketing is something I’ve never had a formal education in. Am I even any good at it?

       

      Tsunamis of doubt crash over me.

       

      Over my first four months there I start sliding faster and faster, until, I brake up with my girlfriend of seven years as I mention above.

       

      This delivered slithers of respite due to finally making a decision, the lack of which has been slowly, and ever more noticeably crushing me for years. And again, it’s something that’s definitely the right move to make, and that needed to be made.

       

      But mainly, at this time, is something that succeeds to further whiplash me into a spiral of misery.

       

      I need to find a place to live, and figure if I move in with other people it will be great way to pick myself up again.

       

      I go out house hunting and one of the first places I come across is cheap, close enough to work and another 5 people live there. I don’t get a chance to meet them, but with 5 others, I figure I’ll make at least one friend to hang with.

       

      Amazing, just what I need.

       

      Except it isn’t.

       

      The people that live there are either never in, or are so nervous, they’ll not enter the kitchen if someone else is in there, for fear of conversation perhaps.

       

      All of my friends moved to London after graduating.

       

      I’m alone, trapped by a contract, and with an ever growing confusion at my inability to make money for this company.

       

      For months I continue to spiral down and down, like one of those penny drop toys where the coin spins round and round towards the abyss.

       

      Within minutes of waking into the office I’m completely under water.

       

      I arrive in the office and just stare at my screen for hours and hours. Sometimes a whole day passes and I’m not be convinced I’ve even attempted anything. Time passes like treacle.

       

      I just wear sweatpants and gym clothes and in general exude a vibe of “lazy and unmotivated”, because I’m lost, I’m drowning. This isn’t unnoticed by other people in the office.

       

      I spend increasing lengths of time just sat in a toilet cubicle staring at the wall. I’m just listening to a low humming noise, like I’ve been near a bomb that’s gone off, that permeates every moment of my existence.

      Felt a little something like this. Shawn Coss Art

      I start acting increasingly erratic, short sighted, self centered and self sabotaging.

       

      My whole world starts to close in to a tunnel existing only in the now (but not in the fun, mindful, live in the now way..)

       

      At the crescendo of this malice, I convince myself that I really just need some adventure.

       

      That adventure will fix me. We’ve traveled abroad to do remote work before and it’s been fun and productive.

       

      So, with that simplified down so nicely in my head, I book a flight to Barcelona that returns a week later.

       

      And then I tell my boss about it.

       

      “That’s an interesting way to ask to work remotely”

       

      Is his calm, but clearly shocked and somewhat upset response.

      fuck, fuck, fuck, Fuck, Fuck, FUCK.

      And then my whole world comes crashing down around me.

       

      The short sightedness, the lack of professionalism, it just being a shitty thing to do to my boss who’s been beyond supportive of my struggles with depression for my whole time working here.

       

      I near vomit.

       

      No bueno.

       

      Anyway, I go to Spain.

       

      I panic work.

       

      I walk to the seaside.

       

      I sit down on a bench at the docks..

       

      And I. Just. Break.

       

      I have a piercing moment of really, deeply missing my ex.

       

      I’m full on ugly crying, and I don’t give a fuck what any passers by think.

       

      The trip is nice, but doesn’t fix the problem.

       

      Fuck.

       

      I don’t know what the problem is, and my confusion just rises.

       

      What the fuck is up?

       

      Why can’t I just get the motivation and drive to make this work?

       

      Am I no good at marketing?

       

      Do I even know anything about my abilities?

       

      Fuck. I just want. to.

       

      Ahh.

       

      I. JUST. WANT. TO. SCR. AHHHHH.

      I just want to scream. Krains Deviant Art.

      In hindsight, it’s more obvious.

      I’d just spent 4 years feeling trapped by university, being irritated that I couldn’t just do my own thing.

      I also split with my long term girlfriend and was dealing with the emotional fallout of that.

      So the problem wasn’t the job, so much as it was me having any job.

      Consciously I was all in with it. I really thought it was a company I’d stay at, and I told many close friends this.

      Subconsciously, I knew I needed to just do my own thing.

      Unsurprisingly, what I’d spent the last 6–7 years of my life wanting, I still wanted. The job seemed like a perfect fit, something that could still get me to my goals, but that didn’t provide the journey to them I really wanted, deep down.

      I’d built an invisible cage of apathy for myself. I thought I loved the job. I didn’t.

      I needed complete control over my life. I needed to do whatever I wanted. I needed complete responsibility to both succeed and potentially fail horribly.

      That conflict, rooted by years of desires was again ignored by my logical brain suppressing my emotions deep into my subconscious.

      Depression is subconscious. It’s the storm of thoughts and doubts just below the surface, raging and spiraling so rapidly that you’ve no idea what the real cause is, what they’re saying.

      I’d got onto NEF, I couldn’t afford it without a host company, which just so happened to be working with an entrepreneur I’d been inspired by, and wanted to learn from, doing essentially whatever I wanted, in the field I wanted to dive into, and it was only a year, right?

      It was so easy to convince myself that it was the perfect idea for me, and standing alone that’s still correct. But, this neglects the years of desire to do my own thing, 100%, and circumstance trapping me from being able to do so.

      Again, I have no regrets about this job. But, once again, I do regret how I acted at times, and my boss was BEYOND patient and understanding throughout it all. Like, really.

      I’m certain I’d not be succeeding at the moment if I’d not had this job.

      It taught me a LOT about taking action vs planning, convincing me that bootstrapping was what I wanted to do, and being efficient at doing so.

      I just couldn’t pull it together in time to make it work.

      What Causes Depression?

      That’s my story of how various circumstances came together to cripple the brain of someone that on the surface, had (and has), it pretty damn sweet.

      Now I want to dive into a little more on the science of depression, how to deal with it as an outsider, and as someone suffering with it.

      So, being me, needing to know everything about everything, and also having the crazy strong urge to stop feeling absolutely, fucking, shit, I did some research!

      First up, I’m not a doctor, don’t take my word on these things, be smart. I’m talking based on research I’ve done and based on my own experience.

      They seem to align pretty nicely.

      Depression is often caused by being trapped in situations that induce panic or fear in you.

      Let’s look at evolution a little (apologies if I butcher this).

      Situation 1

      You’re on the plains of Africa.

      Some big ol lion is coming for you.

      An adrenaline rush kicks your fight or flight response in and you run.

      Fear over, adrenaline subsides.

      Or you’re eaten, in which case you’re out of the evolution game.

      So fight or flight gets passed on genetically.

      Situation 2

      Plains of Africa again.

      Your an infant and said lion eats your mother.

      Again, adrenaline rush strikes so you’re ready for action, but you’re an infant so you’re not going anywhere.

      As the lion is prowling around for you for ages, you either;

      instinctively cry out for your mother (in which case you get eaten, again, you’re out of the evolution game

      OR

      you instinctively quieten down, stay in the bushes in this state and hope your tribe fam comes and gets you.

      They do.

      You win the evolution game.

      So, theory goes, that’s the genetic basis for quieting down in some scary situations.

      The issue is, in the modern world this is taken to extremes.

      Our stupid monkey brains don’t know the difference between fear of lions and fear of deadlines. For much of our lives, especially for ambitious people, deadlines, tests, getting the job, these are all fearful pressures that we make up in our heads.

      These freak us the fuck out all day, every day, for months at a time.

      And what does months of made up, constant fear do to your brain?

      Depression.

      After feeling trapped for so long with so much underlying panic about success, needing things to go right or your life is fucked, after months or years of this, your brain rewires itself giving depressive disorder.

      More evidence for this is that depression is a strikingly first world issue.

      Tribal communities who objectively live much tougher, more harsh lives than Westerners do, have next to no cases of depression.

      They live in tight nit social groups of 50–200 who they spend all of their time with, and they don’t have these constant panics about needing to succeed or else be miserable and unfulfilled for all of their lives.

      Two things that can’t be said for a vast number of young people today.

      So many young people willingly sacrifice happiness now, for the promise of more happiness later, often tied up with money.

      “If I just grit my teeth and stick with this shit job I’ll be able to get promoted, and then I can buy a nice house and car and I’ll be happy.”

      There are two common, negative ways this plays out:

      1. You grit your teeth and suffer for 5 years at a job you hate, jump up the chain and the things that would actually fulfill you, don’t, because you’ve fucked up your brain in the process and can’t be happy.
      2. You grit your teeth and suffer for 5 years at a job you hate, jump up the chain and the money, the house, the car, they don’t actually fulfill you, you’ve been solve a false dream. Oh, and you’re brain is also fucked up from the process.

      Neither seem that great hey?

      Depression is often a results of ignoring your feelings or gut, and just suffering with short term pain for long term results.

      This can be a sound strategy if you really would feel better by achieving those long term results, but often you’ve not thought about why you actually want them. Often it’s because society as a whole (which benefits from you working like a maniac and not thinking all that much) tells you that you want these results.

      The human brain isn’t wired for happiness. Happiness doesn’t help you survive. The human brain wants you to constantly desire more. It’s natural to constantly move the goal posts and think you’ll be more satisfied, or satisfied for longer with these results than is actually accurate.

      So what happens to many? Constant cycles of accepting misery, for delayed happiness that will never come.

      How to Deal with Depression?

      First up, if you know someone that’s depressed, please don’t mistake them for being sad.

      Please don’t ask them WHY they’re sad.

      1. They’re likely not sad, they just feel nothing, and this is scary. If they are sad, they’re sad because they are worried that they will never feel anything again.

      2. They don’t know what the fuck the problem is. The best they can likely do is lay out all the potential issues that may be causing this bout. If, “luckily” there is only one big problem in their life at the moment, they may have an easier time with this. But in most cases, they will have few clues to what the problem actually is.

      Its subconscious.

      😶

      Honestly, I think the best thing you can do for a friend or loved on that’s depressed, is to be there to support them. Understand them, and be there to talk to them if they need it.

      As you may gather from my personal story, my depression could have likely been avoided had I been more capable of communicating, both with my emotions, and with others.

      If this is the case for the person you care about, just talking to them, trying to dig into what they’re experiencing can be by far the most helpful thing for them.

      Depression is an illness of the brain. A good conversation and some new realisations really can pull someone out of a depressive episode. Sometimes, lifting that fog can be enough for them to realise that fixing the problem is possible, it is worth it.

      Don’t be mistaken into thinking that one conversation will fix the problem. As I mentioned, I’ve been working on this actively for years, and it’s still not completely fixed. It’s a rewiring of the brain, and these depressive patterns take a long time to rewire. But one conversation can reveal the path to health, which is the first step to getting over it.

      So, I’d made out in the title like depression can be a good thing and all I’ve done is talk about how much it sucks.

      Well..

      1. Haha, I fooled you, it fucking sucks. Avoid if at all possible.

      2. There is some truth to the title!

      In a weird double edged sword, the subconscious nature of depression — not knowing what causes it, can be quite helpful.

      When I feel depressed, I can either:

      • Lie in bed eating junk food and watching Netflix (which I often do for a day, just to give myself a break)
      • Make a list of every possible problem in my life and start addressing them one at a time until I feel better.

      The useful byproduct of this is that solving all of these problems is good for me and my development as a person.

      If I’m not feeling fulfilled and I don’t know why, I feel depressed. If I feel depressed, I have to make myself better by fixing or actively working on every problem I currently have in my life — making me feel fulfilled.

      It’s like a radar for fulfillment. Or unfulfillment? Anyway, it’s not all doom and gloom is what I’m getting at!

      Over time, you’ll likely notice patterns emerge.

      Do you often worry about wanting more adventure, more alone time, more social time?

      More dates, less dates?

      Working harder? Relaxing more?

      Having a constant assessment (I do think in a daily journal) of what your problems may be, helps you get to grips with things that actually make you feel trapped and unhappy.

      This can be the first step in figuring out what your perfect life actually look like.

      By looking at what makes you unhappy and unfulfilled, you may be able to tease out the core values and drives that do make you feel fulfilled.

      For me, I can see few less respectable pursuits than finding out what actually fulfills and motivates you, what gets you up in the morning, and constructing a life that allows you to fill ever increasing amounts of your time with that.

      Another enormous benefits is my increased connection with my subconscious allows me to understand much more quickly if I’m not working in the right direction, or if I need some down time.

      It’s like growing a muscle. The more I reflect on and think about my subconscious emotions, the more I get it right. The more you practice giving yourself space when you need it, the better you get at doing that quickly, and communicating to others that you either need space or support.

      The final large benefit that comes to mind is the vast level up in emotional intelligence I’ve had. I’ve met a vast array of people whilst traveling and studying. Different ages, nationalities and backgrounds. And the one thing that really seems to reveal people’s emotional maturity, is how much shit they’ve been through.

      Going through awful ordeals and coming out the other side gives you immense emotional fortitude. These people are the most empathetic, as the can really feel the pain of others, they’ve experienced it. They’re much more selfless and giving of themselves. They’re much more patient, having experienced that resolving trauma takes time, no matter how quick you want it fixed.

      So there you have it, there’s a silver lining. I’d really not recommend becoming depressed just to fix it and become better… But, if you are depressed, just know that working on it and overcoming it will almost certainly leave you a person you have a deep respect for.

      To finish with some advice; if you do feel the way I’ve mentioned (you might not have even considered that it might be depression) then my biggest suggestions would be:

      1. Talk to someone about it. If you don’t want to go to a doctor, just tell a friend.

      Honestly, as soon as I realised I had depression, I decided I was going to own it and I started being open about it.

      2. Try writing down things you’re worried about. Write out what’s the worst that happens if you change and don’t change them.

      Often the act of getting the thoughts that are cycling around your head out and on to paper, really helps to show that you’re just worrying about nothing, or not much.

      3. Meditation can really help. Again, if you’re depressed, chances are you’re not the best at communicating with your subconscious feelings. Meditation can help to change this.

      No spirity woo woo necessary (unless that’s yo jam), there’s a shit tonne of rigorous science backing up the effectiveness of meditation.

      If you’re miserable, you can spare 10 minutes a day for something that can have a profound difference (even if you only keep it up for 3–4 months like I did.).

      4. Chat to a doctor. By all means try out the suggestions above if a doctor scares you too much, but do know that for many, many people, professional counseling / coaching, and medication are needed to get over this. I know many people that have used anxiety and depression medication and it’s been a game changer for them.

      Don’t play with your life, seek appropriate help.

      It’s not your fault, it’s society, they’ve broken your brain.

      Fuck yooou society.

      Start working at it, give yourself space when you feel down, write about ittalk to someone (even though that’s the absolute last thing you will feel like doing), meditate.

      It takes a long time to rewire your brain, so be patient, but know that if you keep making small but definite steps towards getting better, you will get there!

      I guess if you know anyone that this might help, send them a link? I found that seeing someone describe my exact symptoms in a post under the name “depression” helped me realize I did have a problem and should start trying to fix it.

      Final note — Once again, if you know someone that’s depressed, please don’t try to fix them. If you’re depressed, you’ve got to make the decision yourself to get help, so just be supportive and understanding of them. Get them to text you if they’re feeling down and call them, they won’t want to talk but it will help!

      Peaceee

      Yo, I’m Connor!

      I’m a smart person. I don’t do smart things.

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      9 Steps to Go From 0–10,000 DAILY Website Visitors from Pinterest in Under 6 Months

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      9 Steps to Go From 0–10,000 DAILY Website Visitors from Pinterest in Under 6 Months

      Despite What You’ve Been Told, This Ain’t Yo Momma’s Social Media Platform…

      Originally published January 2018.

      At the start of 2017 I was just like you. I too thought that Pinterest was nothing but hordes of mums.

      I was lost.

      Confused.

      Completely. Fucking. Wrong.

      Pinterest is a traffic beast, and may be a smarter investment of your time than more popular platforms (hint, Instagram, hint).

      Want to start Pinterest pimpin?

      Let’s set the scene with a little story..


      It’s the start of a wonderful new year. Whilst using IFTTT, I noticed they have a “Repost from Instagram to Pinterest” automation.

      I set up a simple profile and just let it auto post out.

      See what happens.

      [Spoiler alert]

      Sweet fuck all. For months.

      Several months later…

      After a large expanse of nothingness, I notice a traffic spike that catches my attention..

      intresting😏..

      Turns out, good Instagram content is also good Pinterest content (I’m now confident that this can be extended to any visual platform).

      I make my profile look better, create 10–15 varied boards, and start posting tens of daily posts across those boards.

      Working, but not for me..

      I notice that some content I’m reposting is gaining repins, but the majority is getting little to none.

      Also, the pins that are gaining traction, are only going to be sending traffic to the external sites that they link to.

      I think I need more followers to seed out the content. That way I can determine which type of content does well more quickly.

      I start using some engagement automation to follow, like content and unfollow the accounts of my competition’s followers.

      Ooooooo….

      I notice 10–15 of the repins I’ve done are getting shared 10,000+ times… Interesting..

      I decide to make my own versions, and direct them at my own website and blog content, and then..

      10,000 shares.

      20,000!

      And then…

      50,000!

      100,000!!

      250,000!!!

      The shares keep on climbing, as does the traffic those pins are sending to my website.

      Some peak at over 1,000 unique hits A DAY.

      I know I know, it sounds really sweet, right?

      But don’t worry, I know there’s one burning question on your mind…

      “Mmmm, sounds impressive, but I think I’ll just keep bashing my head against a wall with Instagram. Could you talk about that instead?”

      Look, I’m known for being good at both Instagram and Pinterest.

      I’m acutely aware that Instagram is all that everybody cares about with regards to visual marketing.

      I get asked about it far more often.

      But you know what?

      Everybody might be dumb.

      Don’t get me wrong, Instagram’s traffic is GOLD. It really does convert very well for (mostly) cold traffic.

      But, it’s now a nightmare to do well at Instagram without investing serious time and or cash.

      It can give the best results.

      But not for you.

      Because you’re a business owner with a million and one tasks and projects to juggle in order to make your baby a success.

      You got no time.

      You got no money.

      You need marketing with maximum bang for your buck!

      What do I know about Instagram? I grew my business’ account from 0–250,000 followers in 10 months.

      Sounds awesome right?

      It was, but Instagram has a massive problem at the moment.

      You only really get website clicks based on new followers.

      To reliably add new followers, you need not only post effective, regular content, but you need to keep on top of every new feature in order to remain in the algorithm’s good graces.

      That doesn’t mean that Instagram can’t work. I have lots of friends having success with it, and running large Instagram marketing groups.

      Vivien and Tasha have an awesome group — Instagram Growth and Engagement. It’s more branding focused.

      Jeannette , Daniel & Len have a great one as well — Dream Team Instagram Secrets. It’s more growth hack focused.

      So if you insist on Instagram, check them out.

      It can work. I just think you’re unlikely to have an easy win with it.

      Instagram’s biggest business issue is that you can’t currently share content on it.

      The lack of shareability means that your existing audience is only so powerful. Again, the majority of website clicks comes from new followers.

      Yes, they will engage with your content, which helps it get in front of more new potential followers — meaning your audience GENERALLY grows at an accelerating rate, but they can’t propagate your content .

      Once content is posted, it will be useful to you for maybe 3–7 days.

      If Instagram content could be shared, then your followers could seed out content you create.

      This would make having more followers, more useful, as they’re essentially posting your content to all of their followers. It would also give your content a MUCH longer lifetime.

      So, which platform has the best potential for shared content…..?

      You guessed it 😉

      Pinterest is absolutely insane for content sharing.

      With just 500 relevant followers, you can have your content become one of the most repinned in your niche (if you’re smart with your content creation).

      Not only is this great for reach, but as each pin can link back to your website, one super successful pin can generate hundreds of clicks a day, for months and months.

      If you think you could get results from Instagram, you 100% can get results from Pinterest.

      Here are the 9 steps you need to follow to get a tsunami of traffic from Pinterst:

      1. Change your mindset about Pinterest

      • It’s the 2nd biggest referrer of traffic online (after Facebook).
      • It’s not just full of mums — you’re audience is there, and no one is effectively marketing to them.

      2. Do your research

      Use Pinterest’s search to:

      • Find keywords in your niche.
      • Find influencer accounts with 5,000+ followers.
      • Find board name inspiration from the influencers.

      3. Build your profile

      • Fill your account name and description with keywords relevant to your niche.
      • Create 10–20 boards in your niche. Get granular. Use the influencer accounts you researched for inspiration.
      • Fill your board descriptions with relevant keywords.
      • Create a covers for each board.

      4. Repost A LOT to find the best content

      Pinterest use to give repin counts on all content, so it was easy to see what the best performing content was.

      Today is different. Now you need to repin lots of content in order to see what bubbles to the top.

      • Use post 50–100 posts across your boards DAILY.
      • Look at the influencer accounts you identified and schedule any pins you see them reposting often.
      • Schedule pins that the search returns near the top of the results for your keywords.

      5. Engagement automation

      With no followers, no one is getting alerts when you repost all of this content, and so no one is sharing it.

      You need to hit about 500 followers to start getting good repin counts.

      • Follow the followers of your identified influencers (start unfollowing them once you’re following ~10,000 people)

      6. Content seeding with group boards

      Group boards are boards that you can request to contribute to.

      Joining them means you can repin content to an existing audience. This can greatly increase your follower growth and greatly shorten the time it takes to identify which pin style is the most shareable.

      • Find group boards in your niche and follow the boards steps to become a contributor. This may be email, commenting on a specific post, sending them a DM etc.
      • See if your influencers are part of group boards, its a good place to start.

      7. Identify content that resonates

      Now comes the waiting game. Sometimes this may take a week or two, sometimes it could take a few months.

      It’s a case of viral natural selection — you need to figure out what works the best, the more followers you can gain, the faster this should work.

      • Look at which pins are getting the most traction, being shared the most.
      • Repost those pins more, and schedule more that are of a similar style.
      • Stop reposting the content that is performing the worst.

      8. Run with the winners

      Whist you’re repinning, you’re just sharing other peoples content. Generating traffic for them.

      The next step is to create your own pins and direct them to your website.

      • Wait until 5–10 of your repins, have been repinned over 1,000 times.
      • Create your own versions of these pins with corresponding blog posts.
      • Enable rich pins to pull your blog post titles to display with your pins — this will make them perform better.

      9. Create a blog post system

      Once you’ve had a few of your own pins reach 10,000+ repins, it’s time to create a system.

      • Find a type of blog post you can easily whip up in 30–90 minutes that suits the type of pin you’ve identified as high performing: recipes, listicles, workouts, quizez etc.
      • Alternatively — if you have a strong enough profit engine from your website, pay people to write unique content. Point is, you want lots of content relevant to the pin style, and you want it fast.
      • Churn out 50+ of these blog posts and pin combos.
      • Profit!

      Make sure to constantly analyse the similarities between your top performing pins:

      What words in blog post titles are performing the best?

      What structure of post title?

      What imagery style is performing best on the pins?

      What colours are performing the best?

      What you’ll likely find is that pins that reflect fixing the fears, relieving the pains, or enabling the desires of your audience will perform the best.

      So make sure you understand your audience, it will only hasten your success!

      That’s it!

      You’ll be amazed at how much traffic you can start to pull from Pinterest once you run through this strategy.

      It takes a while to gather the data, but once you know what works and start directing pins to your own site, you’ll start hitting 1,000+ clicks daily before you know it, and it’s not difficult to maintain this!

      Post August dip is because I created zero new pins for 3–4 months when I started traveling 😅

      Yo, I’m Connor!

      I’m a smart person. I don’t do smart things.

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      The Profound Lesson Learned Whilst Driving a Motorbike Off a Cliff in Vietnam

      The Profound Lesson Learned Whilst Driving a Motorbike Off a Cliff in Vietnam

      The Profound Lesson Learned Whilst Driving a Motorbike Off a Cliff in Vietnam

      A secret to wipe anger, sorrow, and frustration from your brain?

      Originally published January 2018.

      It’s 10 am on my 26th birthday. We’ve been on our bikes for 30 minutes, traversing the drizzled, foggy hills outside of Dong Van, a picturesque town on Vietnam’s northern border with China.

      The eight of us zip up and down the quarried slopes, our tracks flanked by the sheer drops that make East Asia’s limestone cliffs so awe inspiring.

      Thang tears ahead on his enormous dirt bike, easily conquering the “roads”. By this point in our odyssey we’d come to learn these were little more than gravel, mud and potholes loosely connected by ribbons of tarmac — if we were lucky.

      Directly behind him, I pick up speed and confidence as I acclimatize to the slip and slide of the bike. Cruising through slick mud and freshly formed rivers from the previous night’s storm.

      Gathering speed on an uphill, the cliff side path veers left. The “road” is merely two deep, parallel trenches with a muddy bank between them.

      Thang blasts through the right hand trench, closest to the cliff edge.

      Bumps inward up the middle bank, and flicks his back tire around as he pulls out of the obstacle.

      I kill off much of my speed from the uphill and follow his line.

      Right hand trench.

      “This is deeper than I anticipated….” flicks across my brain for a fraction of a second.

      My back tire slides.

      “Perhaps my 125cc semiauto bike isn’t as capable as our guide’s off-road monster”

      Pull inwards.

      Bike bounces up the bank, away from the cliff.

      “Correct. Fuck. Correct. Fuck”

      Back wheel flicks over the bank and into the left hand trench, knocking it’s side and directing me towards the cliff edge.

      “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck”

      I scramble to correct, leaning in left, pumping the breaks, knocking down the gears.

      Existence shrinks down to a strobing set of images and gut punch emotional reactions.

      Seconds stretch out. The edge hurtles towards me.

      “FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.”….


      Get ready for one of the most profound life lessons I’ve learned, wrapped up in a crazy story, wrapped up in a (hopefully) amusing highlight reel of my bike trip around North Vietnam.

      The insanity of Hanoi was oppressive and overwhelming for many I’m traveling with. But I, I found the elevated discomfort in almost every aspect of my life exhilarating.

      Want to cross the road?

      Prepare to die.

      Want to eat the food?

      Prepare to die.

      Want to converse with 99% of the population without pointing and hand gesturing?

      Good. fucking. luck.

      Hanoi’s streets are tight and sprawling, with countless thousands of people all living on top of each other.

      Her roads a terrifying chaos of motorbikes beeping and sliding between each other.

      Her smells flick and flutter from the rich aromas of garlic, galangal, and chili to the arresting kick of exhaust smog and sewage.

      The magnitude of sensory overload is electric. The mounting discomfort makes my heart thump.

      For me, being immersed to the neck in an uncomfortable situation leaves me awash with the taste of growth.

      The opportunity to raise to the situation and conquer it. To fight and flow through it.

      To come out on the other side a person I enjoy more today than I did yesterday.

      So with the scene set, and your appetite for excitement hopefully piqued, let me share just some of the fun from my Vietnamese adventure.

      Sunday: You sure we’re prepared for this?

      After spending less than an hour learning how to actually drive a bike the previous day, Eddie, Tibor, Remy, Mark, John, Joe, myself and our guide Thang prepare to exit the mayhem of Hanoi and begin our adventure.

      Thang, is a lunatic.

      A tiny Vietnamese guy in his early twenties with an electric passion for off road driving.

      He seems to mistake our excitement and eagerness, for an indication of driving ability when planning out our route.

      He plans out the most beautiful (deadly) route he knows, and we head out into the moto-carnage that is downtown Hanoi.

      We drive for 45 minutes and through a chorus of horn honks, and feverish mirror checks, we make it safely outside the greater city.

      Safely that is, until another biker swerves in front of Mark.

      He slams the beaks.

      The bike doesn’t like it.

      Mark bails, throwing the bike down and sliding.

      His hand and arm are bloodied. The bike is functional. We bandage him up and 30 minutes later we’re off.

      Lesson learned — assume everyone is an imbecile with a death wish.

      We’re on the road again.

      Perhaps 3 minutes pass.

      A woman by the side of the road stands there with her bike, and then without warning decides to walk it into the road.

      I slam the breaks.

      The bike doesn’t like it.

      I bail, throwing the bike down and sliding.

      The woman that caused me to bail just looks at me on the floor, pinned under my bike and continues on walking…

      Cheers.

      My right arm, leg and ankle are bloodied. My bike is not functional. I laugh it off, get bandaged up and we grab lunch whilst we wait an hour for another bike.

      Lesson ACTUALLY learned — assume everyone is an imbecile with a death wish.

      Great start.

      Onward we ride. I’m now vigilant of anyone anywhere near the road, giving them extra room for unexplained crazy.

      When we finally break from Hanoi we’re greeted by wide open roads. We ride across a gorgeous expanse of planes, greeted by my first real sight of Asia’s arresting limestone mountains.

      John Michael Eubank

      After a couple of hours we pull up at a junction in a small town. Whilst we figure out which direction Thang took we’re treated by the sight of, in 8 or so pieces, a cooked dog…

      Interesting…..

      So interesting in fact, that John somehow thinks this would be a good image to send to our 50 person Whatsapp group message.

      It was not.

      Silly John.

      We figure out where to go, and as darkness descends we head up into the mountains. And with that darkness, rumbles in a spectacular tropical thunderstorm.

      The heavens open and inky blackness is blown away by blinding cracks. The sky glows as tendrils of lightning rip it apart. Thunderclaps are so seismic I can feel them shake through my body over the rumbling engine beneath me.

      It’s an electrifying end to a exciting first day as we pull into Ba Be lake to settle down at our local homestay.

      Monday: We’re really dumb…

      Morning breaks and we’re up early. I now get a chance to see the prehistoric beauty of Ba Be lake.

      We hop on a boat and spend an hour on the lake.

      Calm and cool, surrounded by dense rainforest. Towering, monolithic, jungle covered cliffs press skywards as clouds tumble and pour between their valleys.

      If a triceratops burst from the trees, chased by a hungry tyrannosaur, I’d not be the least bit surprised. It is haunting..

      📸: @jobob2992

      We get back, gear up, hop on our motors and start our ascent from the lake. As we wind back and fourth on thin, hairpin roads, the rest of the group pulls ahead of Joe and I.

      I just can’t seem to get the hang of these tight corners.

      I try to throw myself into them a little more, but I still continue to drift out to the other side of the road on my exit.

      Not being instantly good at everything, frustrates me.

      I give it another go and can’t seem to get my balance right for long enough. I pull around a particularly sharp hairpin and find myself quickly drifting out not only to the edge of the road, but the edge of a cliff.

      “Shit. Think quick.”

      I pump the breaks.

      Still drifting…

      I tighten my sphincter.

      Still drifting….

      “Ahhh, fuck.”

      I slam the breaks and throw myself to the floor.

      I scraping along exactly the same side, in exactly the same places as yesterday 😑

      100% accurate. No drama…

      Wounds torn open again, I laugh that I’m not dead, check the bike’s fine, and ride on.

      First hour of the day appears to be my danger zone. I’m pissed that I can’t get the hang of it as quickly as I’d like, but I’m keen to rise to the challenge.

      Remy hangs back for a bit and gives some pointers.

      Trial by fire — I learn how to do tight corners properly.

      I kind of hope I don’t need to learn everything about my bike this way…

      Today we climb up and down kilometer high cliffs, stopping at the tops to view tropical forests below. The sun shimmering across them through slithers in the cloud cover.

      📸 @marky_mark38

      John is apparently so distracted by this beauty, he drives straight into a ditch.

      Silly John.

      But no, the carnage for the day is only just beginning.

      As we scale up and down drenched mountain roads, it becomes apparent to me, perhaps most so due to my acute knowledge of exactly what our bikes CAN’T do, that these slick downhill sections are ludicrously risky.

      We’re on a long downhill stretch, perhaps 35⁰, everyone is in sight. Thang and Joe overtake two cars before a tight right corner. This alone seems questionable to me, but Thang know’s his shit, so I assume all is fine.

      What I don’t think they notice is the car that pulls around that corner as they lose sight of it to make the overtake.

      Mark’s next up and also hasn’t seen this car. He attempts to follow.

      I’m slamming my horn to alert him but he moves out to attempt the overtake.

      He quickly realizes this isn’t going to work, and hits the breaks to pull back in.

      Too hard.

      His rear wheel starts to slide, and then it goes.

      Mark’s down, sliding with his bike down this slick hill.

      If the cars in front of him hit the beaks, Mark’s fucked.

      Remy’s behind, he slams the breaks to avoid Mark.

      Remy’s down.

      If he slides out towards the oncoming traffic, Remy’s fucked.

      He joins Mark sliding down the mountain road.

      Eddie pulls up behind, slam his breaks, and send his bike careening into Tibor, leaving both of them on the floor..

      “Well that fucking was dumb..”

      We all agree, laugh that we’re alive, and head on our way.

      2 days in, everyone has gone down.

      Everyone, except Joe.

      Tick. Tock.

      We end in the bustling town of Cao Bang. Finishing up in the best way imaginable — with a couple glasses each of Vietnamese coffee.

      A coffee delightfully different than any I’ve had before, so chocolaty, smooth, fruity.

      Yep, it’s that good you’ll want it in the evening.

      Gazing longingly at that black gold…

      Tuesday: No words.

      We head to the garage to grab our bikes and there’s a family down there with a couple of ducks…

      The father proceeds to quickly butcher one, drain it’s blood, defeather it, and chop it up, in front of his child (I assume), in approximately 4 minutes…

      It was an odd way to start the day 😶

      We’re on the road for an hour or so before we pass a small dragon fruit farm, grab one for the road, and have a short lived “debate” on taking a safe route vs the most beautiful one.

      Weird morning, weird fruit. 📸: @marky_mark38

      Debate quickly over, we pull off the tarmac to a small dirt and gravel trail up into the hills, a hundred yards of so past the farm.

      What we’ve seen so far has been entrancing yes, but it pales in comparison to today.

      Today is the first day I’m actually lost for words. So baring this in mind, I’ll attempt to paint a picture.

      With words.

      That I was lost for.

      We ascend the winding dirt path through the center of a small, lush valley. Intermittent showers give us ample time to stop, take on and off waterproofs, and drink in the slowly increasing grandeur of our surrounds.

      At the third stop, the valley floor opens up and on a distant valley slope is a single, enormous tree above all the rest.

      It looks like a painting. A bonsai, perfected over decades, scaled up and just popped right on the side of this valley.

      My heart starts to thump.

      “Yep, this is up there, maybe top 10 most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen.”

      That’s the tree! 📸: @marky_mark38

      We take off around two more bends.

      I slam the breaks on, lean back on my bike and..

      “Holy fucking shit balls.”

      “Seriously?”

      My gaze is thrust hundreds of meters down into a verdant, sun rippled valley.

      Millennia sealed in stone, rise up from its base to tower over me. I’m dwarfed.

      A tiny ribbon of dirt snakes back and fourth, marking the path of my descent into Eden.

      “Mmm, this is likely the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.”

      It takes a few minutes, but I catch my breath, quell my raging butterflies and begin my looping path to the valley floor.

      The next hour is bliss.

      The sound of the bike fades out and the wonder of my surroundings pours into my being.

      The roads, too narrow and treacherous for anything larger than a bike, are completely ours.

      The border between myself and my bike slowly start to evaporate.

      Through dense forested fields, beneath the watch of the epic limestone, we twist and bob, up hills and through hairpins.

      And all of a sudden.

      The valley opens.

      “Ughhhhhhh……”

      My back tire screeches to a halt. Breath is savagely ripped from my lungs.

      My soul is pierced. Shattered.

      Primal majesty.

      Wow…

      A tsunami of splendor near knocks me from my seat.

      The valley tears wide open. Vivid jade fields shoot out into the distance.

      To the right, amber rice paddies, ready for harvest, dance upon terraces rising towards the heavens.

      To the left, a waterfall explodes from the summit. An ephemeral rainbow shimmers in it’s spray.

      The titanic cliffs made all the more striking against these softly rolling hills, and tiny dotted dwellings.

      As the sunlight flutters and twirls across this vista I’m awash in ecstasy.

      My heart aches. My fingers tingle.

      Hell, I even shed a tear.

      📸: @marky_mark38

       

      Words don’t do it justice. Pictures don’t do it justice. Videos don’t do it justice.

      This raw.

      Emotional.

      Gut punch, needs to be seen for even a slight appreciation of just how awe inspiring it feels.

      If you get the chance to explore some of Asia’s off the beaten track countryside.

      Fucking. Do It.

      Anyway, I get my shit together and head on wards through the valley.

      We run into some locals who direct us to a nearby waterfall and cave.

      So off course he head off with them to check that out!

      We find an awesome little waterfall, flowing from what we assume is the cave — something that can be seen into via a crack in the cliff, but not entered.

      We go to walk off before we’re beckoned back by another local. He gets us to climb up the cliff with him over the waterfall, where we actually find the cave.

      It’s a spectacular, alien world.

      Like some eerie Lovecraftian cathedral.

      Enormous limestone tendrils drip down from the ceiling.

      Stalagmites line the floor like the fossilized teeth of some long dead behemoth.

      Crystal clear lakes shoot off around submerged corners and corridors.

      Apparently, with snorkels it’s possible to traverse a kilometer or two, coming up in another valley at another village!

      Gives me chills, in the best way.

      📸: @marky_mark38

      We finish up the first day with the long ascent out of the valley.

      It’s absolute bliss.

      I take off by myself to enjoy the climb without having to start and stop for everyone else.

      I really can see why people get so passionate about bikes.

      There really is nothing between you and nature. You’ve got this amazing ability to reach difficult locations. With the twist of a key, you can be off your bike ready to silently drink in whichever gorgeous view has caught your eye.

      And then there’s the feeling.

      Oooof it feels good.

      When you’ve been out for a few hours, the difference between you and the bike really just disappears. Everything becomes fluid.

      Is gumming your brain up with too much testosterone a smart idea?

      From experience, clearly not.

      Are bikes whirring metal death machines?

      Obv.

      But, do I now understand why people love them?

      Hell fucking yes.

      Once again, I get the pleasure of finishing up the last hour of my day seeing the sky set ablaze in a crazy tropical storm as we arrive into Bao Lac.

      Also!

      Didn’t crash today.

      Boom.

      📸: @marky_mark38

      Wednesday: It gets better.

      Today we continue our journey towards the China boarder.

      The jungle thins as we pass through lush mossy hills. The cliffs are very different now. Jet black,ominous, even more towering.

      📸:@marky_mark38

      A small passage opens at their base, and we pass across the floor of a narrow valley.

      And then,

      I’m no longer in Vietnam, I’ve ridden into Middle Earth, the gates of Mordor.

      An enormous basin opens up before me.

      A river and lake just below me.

      Thang’s favorite road, the “Happy road”, hugs the side of the obsidian cliffs to the left, snaking it’s way up them through the clouds.

      Today is every bit as awe inspiring as yesterday. Diametrically opposite, but equally arresting.

      Again, I merge with my machine and take to ripping up the cliffs, bursting through the clouds, adrenaline sharpening every second into a tiny eternity.

      Falling prohibited. 📸: @marky_mark38

      After an amazing drive we arrive in the town of Dong Van. Thang takes the lead, and we follow, assuming he’s taking us to a hotel.

      We pass through the town, down some small alley, and then start to climb a hill with an incline that is rapidly increasing.

      I make no comment, blindly following Thang’s lead.

      Turns out, he’s trying to take us and our bikes up to Don Cao, an old military fortress from France’s colonization days.

      Up a 50–60⁰ incline!

      Did I mention he was crazy..?

      Most of our pathetic little bikes have no chance of making it.

      Joe’s in front of me and on a gravel filled corner, tries to power up it and goes nowhere.

      His bike starts sliding backwards, before falling on him, pinning him.

      He’s not very pleased.

      So we all immediately rush to his aid

      Oh no wait, until this point, Joe was the only one of us not to crash.

      So we stand above him and laugh for 2–3 minutes before offering to help.

      Now he’s really not very pleased.

      Silly Joe.

      After sticking our bikes in first gear, leaving the throttle full, and walking them up, we manage to reach the top (still have no idea why we didn’t just walk up without them..)

      And guess what?

      The view’s mindbogglingly gorgeous.

      We have a 360 of the whole area from hundreds of meters up.

      Below us is Dong Van, with rice paddies extending down the valley floor left and right, as far as the eye can see.

      Behind us are the formidable mountains that cloak China.

      After soaking in the sights, we spend an eternity trying to get out bikes down the same incline — again, no idea why we took them up there, before reaching our hotel.

      Another crash free day for me.

      Boom.

      We get freshened up and head down for a hot pot dinner — Thang’s favorite (favorite road, favorite dish, making Joe finally fall over, Thang had a good day).

      As it’s my birthday tomorrow, it takes little time for the beers to escalate into several hours of rice wine, finding a massage place, befriending the guys that worked there, getting driven around in their bus/golf cart hybrid at 4am and other silliness…

      📸: @marky_mark38

      Thursday: It gets worse.

      “Fak.”

      I could feel better today, but it was an amusing birthday.

      So, I pull myself together, and on wards we ride to Ha Giang.

      It’s 10am on my 26th birthday. We’ve been on our bikes for 30 minutes.

      The eight of us zip up and down the quarried slopes, our tracks flanked by sheer drops.

      Thang tears ahead on his enormous dirt bike, easily conquering the “roads”.

      Directly behind him, I pick up speed and confidence as I acclimatize to the slip and slide of the bike. Cruising through slick mud and freshly formed rivers from the previous nights storm.

      Gathering speed on an uphill, the cliff side path veers left, the “road” is merely two deep, parallel trenches with a muddy bank between them.

      Thang blasts through the right hand trench, closest to the cliff edge, bumps in up the middle banks and flicks his back tire around as he pulls out of the obstacle.

      I kill off much of my speed from the uphill and follow his line.

      Right hand trench.

      “This is deeper than I anticipated….” flicks across my brain for a fraction of a second.

      My back tire slides.

      Next thought blast;

      “Perhaps my 125cc semiauto bike isn’t as capable as our guide’s off-road monster”

      Pull inwards.

      Bike bounces up the bank, away from the cliff.

      Back wheel flicks over the bank and into the left hand trench, knocking it’s side and directing me towards the cliff edge.

      I scramble to correct, leaning in left, pumping the breaks, knocking down the gears.

      Existence shrinks down to a strobing set of images and gut punch emotional reactions.

      The edge hurtles towards me.

      I’m airborne for a moment as I leave the road.

      Everything is flashing.

      Off I fly, 15 or so feet down a pile of boulders.

      On the same, fucking, side 😑

      .

      .

      .

      Breathe in….

      Breathe out….

      .

      I’m alive.

      I can’t move. But, I don’t think I’m hurt.

      “McCreesh….”

      Mark half yells, half questions.

      “Ha! I’m o-kAy!”

      I holler back in what may have been an Italian accent..

      Mark now starts a laugh that lasts the best part of three days.

      An uncontrollable laugh that pretty much prevents him from talking to me, as every time he sees my dumb face, he imagines me flailing off that cliff….

      Ten to fifteen locals seem to emerge from the bushes and before I know it, my bike is being picked off me, and we’re all pushing it back up the side of the cliff.

      Ironically, one of them is wearing a tshirt with the emblazoned slogan:

      “Shit Happens”

      Brilliant..

      Video starts about half way up 😑 📸: @where_is_remy

      By the time I get to the top, Thang has cycled back and he and Joe are incredibly perplexed by just how cheery I am.

      “You keep almost dying… Why are you not a trembling mess?”

      Asks Joe.

      “I no understand. You crazy”

      Says Thang, who we’ve established, is actually crazy.

      And here we come to the profound lesson….

      There’s no point holding on to the negative emotion that your mind at first wants to thrust upon you.

      It eats into you.

      The lesson from this incident is; be WAY more fucking alert in the first hour of riding. I know it’s the danger zone.

      My emotional response of laughter vs terror is largely irrelevant to me learning that.

      Laughter is more enjoyable, so I chose that.

      It wasn’t until this incident that I realized just how pervasive this mindset change had been in shaping my life.

      As soon as the epiphany hits, example after example, going back the best part of a decade, flood into my mind.

      • You’re pushed into a swimming pool, destroying your phone. Irritation and anger become laughter and acceptance. Tears won’t fix the phone.
      • Someone has an opinion you find distasteful, idiotic or abhorrent. Frustration and anger become curiosity. You won’t convince anyone by telling them how wrong they are. May as well be interested in how they’ve arrived at the opinions they have. Great way not to hate everyone.
      • You and your friends are brutally assaultedBlind rage and panic become sharp focus. Anger exacerbates angry situations. Much more important to defuse and protect.
      • A stranger insults you. Upset and irritation become pitied amusement.Snap judgement and pigeon holing based on surface or extraneous characteristics is narrow minded. Do this robs them of beauty held in the depths of others. Their stories.

      My oldest example of this response rewiring wasn’t clear to me until the end of my month in Vietnam, at our farewell event.

      Roughly thirty of us are at an eco-lodge, retreat outside the city. We are all sat in a room discussing failure, and what it means to us. The question is posed:

      “What does failure mean to you?”

      I run the question through my mind, puzzled as I let it percolate around my brain.

      “Not being able to meet the expectations of my parents.”

      “Not being able to buy a house”

      “Not achieving my career goals”

      These are just a few of the answers offered up.

      And for me? I let this question burrow deep into me.

      I really, really strain to come to my answer.

      And…

      Absolutely. NOTHING.

      It’s not that I don’t understand the question. Or that I couldn’t think of what failure meant to me.

      It’s that failure has COMPLETELY ceased to hold meaning as a concept to me.

      There is a technique to achieve this, and it’s equally as powerful for you to completely sever a tie between an action and the emotion you respond with.

      This may seem different the previously mentioned examples, but I assure you it’s the same mechanism.

      Here’s are the steps to change your emotional response to a negative situation:

      1. Identify the trigger and your normal emotional response. For example, the normal emotional response to failure is to be humiliated, upset, embarrassed, dejected, perhaps to give up. Often the fear of these results may prevent you from putting yourself out there in the first place.

      2. Think about what this trigger actually means. What does it actually mean to fail at your goal? Will you be homeless? Will you starve to death? Is there no route to repair the damage that failure does?

      Often failures will lead to some personal or professional discomfort, but rarely are they the end of the world. Our minds like to overemphasis fears into unconquerable monstrosities, regardless of how true that may be.

      3. Focus on embodying the emotion or persona that will pull you through the reality of the situation. In the case of failure, it’s something that happens for an instant. You then have the choice of how long you carry it’s emotional baggage around. The longer you carry that baggage, the longer you waste not trying to achieve your goal in another way, or not trying to repair any damage done by the failure.

      When I was perhaps 16, I just decided that “I would be successful”. It was that simple.

      I then started telling that to everyone I knew, regardless or not of if I believed it. Saying it created a persona that I tried to live up to, creating a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.

      Over years, more and more people started to attach that characteristic to me. Over yet more years, I actually internalized this message so deeply that I started to believe it myself.

      If I was going to be successful, than failure was only temporary. There was thus no point dwelling on failures (or fuck ups as I now call them). It was just wasting time. Time I should be spending towards the future “successful” me.

      4. When the trigger happens, practice your embodiment. It won’t just magically work, so give yourself time to experience your normal emotions. But not for too long. Give yourself a time limit, then pick yourself up and focus on your embodiment.

      If you fail; kick and scream a bit, pick yourself up, and get back to moving forward. You can’t change the past, so don’t live there.

      5. Practice this! You won’t just magically change your response. It takes time. It takes patience. You really need to be considered with it.

      It took me years to internalize, and be convinced by my “I will be successful”message through exclaiming it to everyone that I met.

      It may have taken me years longer to completely sever my connection to my concept of failure.

      But!

      When you do manage to do this, you’ll realize that the neural muscle (so to speak) that you’re training, isn’t unique to your one example!

      After I’d practiced swapping out wallowing in failure, or fear of doing so, it was easy to swap all of the negative responses I bullet pointed above.

      Once you do this once, you can apply it to a vast amount of problems you face. In quick succession you can unburden your mind from a multitude of fears, worries and imagined pressures.

      It feel amazingly liberating to:

      • Not get annoyed, angry, worried etc. about situations you cannot change, past, present or future.
      • Not care about things that are of no consequence to you or others, for example, what strangers think of you.

      Back to the bikes!

      Anyway, for those more interested in travel than becoming all zen, lets wrap up the rest of the bike trip 😅

      So, I’m alive, bike’s fine, off we go.

      Thang, thinks the roads we’ve been on so far as too good, so he decides to take up over a mountain on an road that’s mid construction.

      We are literally driving over piles of boulders, on piece of shit bikes.

      📸: John Michael Eubank and @marky_mark38

      Joe crashes twice more.

      Lol…..

      They were both VERY slow so he was okay, but he was irritated for a long time none the less.

      Emotional responses 😉

      Today the scenery was, you guessed it, breath taking!

      The black cliffs make way for rolling green fields and alpine forests.

      It reminds me very much of Britain, if the landscape were vertically stretched to give hills four times the height.

      Just how far the hills stretch from valley base to summit evokes thoughts of gargantuan Sci Fi O’Neal cylinders. Massive cylindrical spacecraft, rotating along their long axis to create spin gravity and leading to landscapes that reach up the insides of the cylinder, before looping back over your head.

      📸: @marky_mark38 & kromekat.com

      We finish up at a homestay outside Ha Giang, trekking through fireflies to a secluded waterfall where we all go swimming.

      And by we all, I don’t mean me. I’m covered in holes as I insist on testing my apparent inability to break myself…

      Adorably, the homestay owners have gotten me a birthday cake with my freaking name on it! 😍

      It’s beyond lovely, so we finish our delicious dinner and cake desert, and turn in early.

      📸: John Michael Eubank and @marky_mark38

      Friday: Once more, just for fun.

      By this point, I’ve had more than enough of crashing.

      We cruise over a mountain range covered in dense jungle.

      Tight valleys and magic waterfalls are around every turn.

      📸: @marky_mark38

      We pass over the mountains, and come towards to a small town for lunch.

      I hear a tire screech (the sound of which still sends shivers down my spine to this day).

      I look forward to Mark.

      I see his tire skid out a little before he recovers it. I figure that’s what the sound was from.

      It doesn’t take me long to see that I was wrong.

      All though I’ve had enough of crashing, Remy, it seems, has not.

      He tears through a dusty corner ahead of me, underestimating how sharp it is.

      His front wheel locks up and he proceeds to superman over the handlebars.

      Onto his face.

      Ouch.

      He laughs it off, despite missing half a tooth, and with a few big gashes. We head over to a conveniently placed hospital in the nearby town to get him stitched up.

      We grab food, wait for Remy, and we head on our way.

      After the descent, we follow a river on a (surprisingly good) road that hugs the bottom of a steep valley.

      Another treat awaits….

      We’ve seen lots of rice paddies so far, but none overlaid on such mesmerizing gradients, and few quite so close up.

      Terraces stack hundreds of meters up. The landscape takes on an enchanting blend of man made and natural. Unharvested rice grass dances with a prismatic shimmer. Orange, yellow and green pulsate and wave in the breeze.

      Interestingly, The strange geometry transports me to Minecraft. Are we in a simulation? 😏

      📸: @marky_mark38

      A darkness closes in, we arrive in Xin Man, a sooty mining town with not a second thought given to tourist catering.

      This is real industrial Vietnam.

      And tucked in it’s dilapidated streets is the best food I ate in my entire time in Vietnam! Thang, as always, has full reign to pick what we eat, and really outshines himself this time.

      Vietnam doesn’t appear to have a massive range of signature dishes: Pho, bahn mi, bun cha, spring rolls, omlette, stir fry meat and rice are likely to make up the majority of what you eat here.

      But what this does mean, is you can really find some exquisite variations on these if you search hard enough.

      We grab a big assortment of dishes from a tiny family diner. Never before have I tried such a transcendental omelette! The spring rolls are mouthwatering. The soy sauce is the most deep and delicate I’ve ever experienced.

      And the coffee…

      Ohhh my…

      This was the best Vietnamese coffee I’ve ever had. Which is in itself the best coffee I’ve ever had.

      I want to fly across the globe to this (arguably) dirty nowhere just for this coffee again.

      Also!

      A random stray rottweiler bites Mark on the ass for no apparent reason 😂

      It was funny.

      For me.

      He didn’t seem to think as much…

      Saturday: A chipper red head.

      Today brings our trip to an end. We head out for our last full day ride towards the town of Sa Pa, located to the North West on a high plateau.

      On our way we have yet another captivating mountain ascent. As we head up to higher altitudes again, the jungle makes way for more alpine trees and scrub.

      The transitions are striking, and hard to communicate visually. The rich smell of pine resin fills the air. The humidity dissipates.

      It feels like another continent.

      Atop one of the highest peaks I stop for a brooding picture.

      📸: @marky_mark38

      As does everyone else 😆….

      📸: @marky_mark38

      Heading down the mountain, the steep road quickly turns into a muddy river.

      It’s pretty damn slippery, as Eddie finds out.

      We’re all stopped waiting as bikes pass one by one through a slick, thin passage caused by a landslide.

      Eddie pulls up behind me and pushes his breaks lightly.

      His wheels stop moving.

      His bike does not.

      Impressively, as the bike slides and goes down, he steps off it onto his feet as if nothing happened.

      Joe, isn’t so lucky..

      Whilst traversing the passage, his bike isn’t playing ball.

      Without the space to hop off, he falls into the landslide, which is just an enormous pile of mud 😑

      Poor Joe.

      The upside — he seems way more chipper this time!

      Perhaps all of our laughing in the face of near imminent death is rubbing off on him…

      At the bottom of the mudslide we reach a bustling rural market, full of all manner of occult trinkets and exotic(risky) foods.

      I grab some assorted goods on sticks. Chicken feet (not good). Mushrooms (not good). Pink mystery balls (you guessed it).

      To left I can be seen donning a voguish armored jacket. Thang insisted after, you know, I drove off a cliff…. 📸: @marky_mark38

      The exit from the market marks our last stretch as Vietnam’s rice paddy game is upped once more.

      Over the next mountain we are treated to another massive expanse of wide open valleys and peaks. This time littered with hundreds of golden rice terraces ready for harvest.

      And that’s not all.

      For one of the few times during the trip, we are treated to..

      GOOD FUCKING ROADS!

      We get like two hours riding without constantly dipping and swerving to avoid potholes. What a treat.

      That is until we’re about an hour out from Sa Pa…

      Then it’s not the roads that are the issue, but the ludicrous amount of semi trucks that seem to be heading up the steep roads to the plateau town.

      Bumper to bumper traffic. Bikes darting in and out. Crazy overtakes needed to get past two or three semis at a time. It’s pandemonium. And also really quite fun 😆

      📸: @marky_mark38

      We arrive in Sa Pa early evening and head out for too many cocktails to celebrate, not dying? Before heading to Lao Cai to catch the overnight train back the following day.

      Would I recommend it?

      I’m not convinced if this is an endorsement for a Vietnam bike trip or not. On the one hand, I have NO FUCKING IDEA how none of us were severely injured.

      We crashed a LOT.

      On the other hand, it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. The pictures and my description barely scratch the surface. It was natural splendor, exhilaration and wonder that likes of which I’ve never felt.

      Enrapturing, visceral beauty.

      Personally, I would do it again at the drop of a hat.

      You made to the end, WOW!

      Thank you so much.

      I’m currently putting much more focus on my writing, so if you enjoyed this in any way, then sharing this with interested friends, or in relevant locations, would be truly mean so much to me.

      I’m getting a lot of enjoyment from people’s thoughts and feedback on my writing, so the more that see it, there more I get to experience that.

      Thanks again ❤️

      Yo, I’m Connor!

      I’m a smart person. I don’t do smart things.

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      Wine Fueled Adventures & Romance in Portugal

      Originally posted October 2017.

      Portugal, my home for the third month of my new digital nomad life, has been an awesome experience! Drinking too much. Working too much. Business diversification. Racism and assault. Epic adventures fueling a nerd brain explosion. Crazy month.

      Is this a long ass post?

      Yep.

      Am I trying to write it 1–2 months after the fact and so might much of it be fictional?

      Also, possible.

      Will it make you laugh?

      Irrelevant. It makes me laugh and it’s my blog.

      So, after too much fun before leaving Budapest, I’m back into work mode in Lisbon.

      Sunday

      Go to a cute cafe to blast out some work for a few hours. Before heading over to WiP, our work space for the month to check out the city preview.

      The preview is when the local team at the work space run us through everything they recommend we check out. Sites, food, bars, activities. All the fun stuff.

      The local team seems awesome.

      I, quite enjoying a complete lack of preparation for everything non-work related, forget to save a pin for our apartment.

      After the preview, I spend 45 minutes wondering up and down what I’m sure is our street. Checking and trying all doors with a weird split key like ours, like some lunatic.

      Friends eventually turn up and show me where we actually live.

      I’m not even on the right side of the road…

      Monday

      Up early and in manic work mode.

      Ariela and I march up Lisbon’s never ending hills to “A Cevicheria”. This tiny Peruvian joint, serves ceviche, beef tartar tacos and a surf and turf sandwich that

      BLOWS.

      MY.

      MIND.

      Mmmm! Ooo, even thinking about it is making me salivate…

      Anyway, the food in Lisbon is the shit. I decide I’ll be back at this place to clean out the entire menu.

      My mentor reminds me that I’m quite good at getting social traffic. He suggests I should diversify to offer coaching and consulting.

      I diversify to offer coaching and consulting.

      I spend the rest of the day diving through the operating processes I’ve given my virtual assistant to see how easy they’d be to scale for clients.

      Tuesday

      I’ve known since the first week of doing this travel that a large amount of the people I’m traveling with want to start their own businesses. I decide I should just launch a class for it!

      If people follow it and start making money — amazing! If they don’t, I’ll have a full course recorded which I can sell myself.

      Either way I win.

      This is always my favorite kind of gamble.

      First month of classes covers Instagram and 25+ people turn up! 🎉

      For dinner I head out with Mel, Kathy and Joe for Portuguese food in some spectacular, Arabic style hotel.

      Again, the food here is dope.

      Still being in maniac mode, I head back to WiP and smash out work for a few hours more, accompanied by some green wine.

      Kiwi and I, who are regularly the first in and last out of work, hit up a kebab joint, which again, is too tasty, and have a fun business chat.

      Wednesday

      Find a gym for the first time that is actually well equipped, apart from a lack of 20kg bumpers.

      I make do..

      John, Joe and I go to A Cevicharia, I eat everything that isn’t on the taster menu (need an excuse to come at least once more…)

      OMG.

      It’s so damn tasty.

      A running theme for this month is the food here is so freaking good, I couldn’t decide between dishes. I often ended up eating two or more mains for variety. This was also expensive…

      I head back to work late and go over to Taryn’s house to pretend to write blog posts. In honesty, just to drink wine, catch up and receive next-level back scratches 😍

      Thursday

      I get up early for Taryn’s Yoga class on the roof of WiP.

      Feel so zen after.

      Work like a maniac, again.

      I then head to 4 Caravelas, an adorable little bar on Pink St., the party road in Lisbon, for a cocktail making class.

      We compete with each other to speed make, and drink, about 10–15 cocktails.

      I off course, must DESTROY ALL COMPETITION, as revealed by my concentration face..

      When you’re so competitive that victory appears to come at the cost of a small stroke…

      The cocktails are ludicrously tasty, the owners are lovely, AND we get two for one before 11.

      I’ll be back here a lot…

      After getting a little loosey goosey on some cocktails, we all head to a few more bars on Pink St.

      Kara’s niece and friend, Rachael and Shar are over to visit.

      Rachael, is really cute 😏

      We drink some more before deciding to find a club along the water to go to.

      Seems to only be Rachael and I by the time we arrive at the club, so we head in regardless and dance away for a few hours.

      We head home along the water and Rachael decides to go and dip her feet in the river.

      This was a mistake.

      Unbeknownst to us, the stones down to the water are slippery AS FUCK.

      About four meters from the actual water, Rachael’s feet literally launch from beneath her. She hits the deck before rapidly sliding up to her chest in the city river water.

      “Holy shit”

      I yell before attempting to save her.

      This too, was a mistake.

      Unsurprisingly, the rocks are still just as slick for me as they are for her. I also go down before sliding in to the syphilis water up to my waist.

      I honestly can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.

      It’s 5am.

      We’re drunk.

      Soaking wet.

      And covered in river sludge.

      It’s hilarious to the point of making my face ache 😅

      Friday

      Decide (via way of hangover), that I should have a chill day.

      Me and Rachael grab some food in Time Out market, a giant food hall with every food you could want. Mexican, Portuguese, French, Thai, all the food.

      I can’t decide between Vietnamese spring rolls or Thai massaman curry.

      I get both.

      They’re both bomb!

      We finish that and just start wondering the streets and chatting. Through tiny alleys, up and up hills, past beautiful hidden churches and up to gorgeous views across the entire city.

      If you’re in Lisbon, suck it up and climb the hills. The vista’s are SO worth it!

      @rachelyancey — different Rachel..

      Hours fly by. It’s loads of fun.

      We Uber back and I head off for a nap.

      After recharging, I sit and chat to Pino for a bit before heading to Time Out again with her to meet Remy, Kiwi and Milana.

      I can’t decide between tuna tartar or beef tartar.

      I get both.

      They’re both bomb!

      I head out to Pink St. to grab a drink or two (or three or four….) for Adi’s Birthday.

      Somehow, we’re going to a club again. I suggest Urban beach after it seeming fun last night.

      This was a mistake.

      Short version, we turn up and are viciously assaulted by the racist thugs on the door with zero provocation.

      Long version here: When Assault, Robbery and Destruction of Property are Perfectly Legal. Mad Dogs in Lisbon.

      Saturday

      So I’m pretty exhausted after the last few days and try to nap.

      Apparently I’m suffering with some post traumatic rage, so that doesn’t happen.

      Go to WiP, smash coffee, smash angry music, smash work.

      Duffs drops in for a catch up / to check I’m okay which is very sweet.

      I head back to my flat late and loads of friends are over. We drink wine and catch up and it’s all adorable.

      Jake, drunk on ambition, decides to construct this monstrously impressive fort in under 30 minutes.

      You can’t see the palace suite and jacuzzi from this angle…

      Sunday

      I wake up feeling good.

      I get in the shower aaaaand I’m angry again, 😑

      The sea is my happy place, so a group of about 10 of us head to the Oceanarium.

      Walking in we pass a very friendly looking member of security. My stomach turns.

      (This is something I mention more in the above post about Friday’s incident. The PTS that followed the event for a week or two was really irritating.

      It pissed me off that an act that took 10 minutes for those scumbags had to stick with me for all that time.)

      Anyway, the Oceanarium is wonderful. Ooof, it’s so relaxing and beautiful seeing the fish floating around. Seeing the light shimmering through the water. Gives me shivers.

      Amusingly, as we walk around I notice that it’s just me, John and Mel.

      We, being massive fucking nerds, take twice as long to get around the place as everyone else. We’re too busy running around like children, gawping at every little sea critter, talking about super interesting science shit 🤓

      Left @j.m.eubank, Right two @mdoesthings

      We finally catch up to the others who have been waiting at the exit. We grab a Gondela lift over the bay to a tasty little Chinese spot.

      I can’t decide what to eat. So I EAT EVERYTHING.

      The dim sum and bao are magical.

      We head back and most of the crew head on a walking tour.

      I go to bed on my face, HARD.

      I wake up a puddle of drool and Kib comes over as he wants some company and to talk out Friday night.

      We hang for an hour and I bounce out to chill with Rachael.

      I’m pleased to hear that the walking tour everyone went on was basically the same tour we wondered on ourselves a couple of days prior.

      Don’t need no guide 😎

      We drink wine and chat into the early hours. She tells me some story about a corpse bride from a church they’d found on the tour. It sounds like real life Game of Thrones and I’m skeptical of it’s historical accuracy..

      But she tells it in a hilarious, excited way so I’m enthralled. I’m reminded that hanging out with her is so funny it makes my face hurt.

      She’s heading back to America on Tuesday, and I’m pretty sure I have a massive crush on her.

      Fuck.

      Monday

      Back on that work hype. Grab my first consulting client! I start pulling together the info to turn them into an Instagram baller.

      I head to Amelia’s to watch Game of Thrones with everyone. 😱 That dragon fight though…

      Take a walk through a cute little park with Rachael and we grab some wine back at mine. Loads a fun.

      Tuesday

      Wake up 10.40. Realize I have a cooking class at 11 😑

      Run over to Time Out just in time to cook up some delicious salt cod dishes.

      We make some beautiful not-bruschetta, and some gorgeous not-risotto.

      Those dishes are from Italy and we’re in Portugal.

      I eat, I nap (system works..), I work out, run a second Instagram Internet Money session and head out for Rachael’s last night.

      It’s sad to see her leave, but it was very fun. Swings and roundabouts hey.

      @specifically.random, definitely not risotto, or bruschetta..

      Wednesday

      Errrr….. Wednesday… What does anyone do on a Wednesday?

      I believe I spent the day training up Michelle to do some Instagram account management, and worked a lot. Think I booked a couple of clients for Pinterest coaching. And likely napped.

      That sounds like a day I would do…

      Thursday

      Another crazy work day (Lisbon seemed to take work and play to the extreme). Put in about 13 hours til 10pm, then head out to meet friends on the water for cocktails.

      Stop at Amelia’s for a catch up and to generally dump all my thoughts and emotions out to her to chat through them.

      I’m Watson..

      Friday

      Smash the gym. Smash the work. Go to grab food and pass Jake on the way out.

      He reminds me that we need Visa photos and application forms for Vietnam next month…. So I go on a mission across the city to find a photo booth with him.

      We grab tasty Italian pizza bread sandwich things….

      I can’t decide between the pesto & mozzarella, and the prosciutto one.

      I get both.

      Worth ittt…

      I walk 90% of the way back to WiP, down all the hills, before realizing I’m hairy.

      So I walk back up all the hills in search of the best barbers.

      Tucked away through an unassuming, graffiti filled alley, out onto a tiny courtyard is an awesome little barbershop. Belarmino.

      I go in and am greeted with a cold beer and hard rock. Sleeve tattooed, pointy mustached guys are both giving and receiving haircuts.

      You have my attention.

      So anyway I sit down and grab likely the best haircut of my life from Miguel, the owner. I grab recommendations on all the best bars and food places to check out. The most interesting of which is “Red Frog”. A hidden speak easy that does some of the best rated cocktails in the World…

      I stay up working til some time after 11. Amelia then comes over for a catch up and to generally dump all her thoughts and emotions out to me to chat through them.

      We have a system 😄

      Saturday

      I take a boat trip to some gorgeous hidden beaches. This is the first time I’ve left Lisbon this month, so this is something I really need!

      We sail past gorgeous, towering cliffs made from layer upon layer of stone. The sun is shining, the sea is glistening.

      It looks so damn inviting.

      We stop off at a beach only reachable via a long hike, and flanked by enormous cliffs. It looks gorgeous.

      Johnathan jumps off the boat into the shimmering sea. Before he surfaces, I take a dive from the top deck straight into the beautiful,

      shimmering,

      glistening

      So innocent, so unaware….. (@dre.by.day)

      Altantic. Fucking. Ocean.

      “Faaaaaaakkk this is cold”

      Runs through my head as I plunge deeper and deeper from the enthusiasm of my dive.

      At the same time, my balls jump rapidly to my throat, 😑

      I then have the pleasure of swimming for 10 minutes (an eternity) to the shore.

      Anyway, the beach is breathtaking. Made more so by the beach’s “entry fee”. The 20 minute hike required to get there for those without a boat! This means that many of those on the beach are athletic, bikini clad women.

      Lovely.

      After this, Kib, Isaac, Pino, Beth, Dario and I head out for illegal Chinese food . Unsurprisingly, this is in an illegal Chinese “restaurant”.

      This has us ringing a doorbell on a random apartment. Walking into some sketchy building. Through a kitchen and into a converted dining area.

      The food was insane. And luckily, I didn’t have to make any choices on what I ate as it was dirt cheap, cash in hand Chinese food.

      Amusingly enough, our next stop also has us ringing some random, unassuming doorbell. We head to Red Frog, as recommended by Miguel.

      He wasn’t wrong.

      I have without a doubt the two (couldn’t pick one..) most exquisite cocktails I’ve ever experienced!

      Flavors that have no business off a plate, blend into a refreshing sour symphony in my mouth. If you’re in Lisbon, put Red Frog on your list.

      We finish up the night in Bairro Alto, bumping into more of our RY crew. Laura and Michelle are a tiny bit drunk… So we decide 3am is a good enough time to finish up the night and take them home.

      Sunday

      Well it appears I’ve completely exhausted my social points.

      The man period begins, so I blanket hate everyone. I decide most of my Sunday is best spent smashing out some work alone in WiP.

      I work up an appetite and decide I can be social, if it’s for a short time and there’s food involved..

      We hit a Peruvian place and like everything else culinary in Lisbon, it’s fucking bomb.

      I can’t pick what to eat so I double up my mains. Causa and ceviche 😋

      With that done I dash off to hermit by myself again. Easy.

      Monday

      Still socially exhausted. Buckle in for another crazy work day, taking a break for the gym (important to keep me from getting too grumpy).

      Head over to Amelia’s for group Game of Thrones. After, everyone heads upstairs for a group chat about the arseholes at Urban Beach. We also cover several other accounts of racism we’d encountered in Lisbon.

      Love when we get together for these chats (even when I’m grumpy and hate everyone). Just feels awesome to go deeper and get stuff out that doesn’t come up in general chit chat.

      PR shitstorm agreed upon. Responsibilities divided. Awesome meeting.

      Tuesday

      Pretty standard day. Lots of work. Run the business class, wrapping up the last of the know how on Instagram.

      Have a webinar to give to Dan Meredith’s private Facebook group. “Going from 0–15,000 daily visitors from Pinterest in 6 months”. Feed oddly nervous, so start on the wine a little before.

      Goes down a storm (as does the webinar 😏).

      Also, writing this blog I’m becoming aware of just how much I drank whilst in Lisbon…

      RIP liver.

      Ashe has let me know he’s dropping out of RY a few days prior, so I go out for catch up drinks with him before he leaves.

      By this time I’m already a bottle down, and that dude likes to go hard.

      By time time we’re done and go to meet everyone at 4 Caravelas (as always), I’m spangled.

      Not me…

      Something that Melissa points out to me 😑

      So I decide to try wrangle back any responsible adult points I can, and get some of the fam to take me home.

      Wednesday

      Again, what does anyone do on a Wednesday….

      I’m going to assume based on the last nights antics that I slept most of the day..

      Pretty sure this evening I hit the gym. Then Pino and I ordered a quantity of Tacos so ambitious, we request it three times before we’re taken seriously.

      Yep, that’s only the first layer of Mexican delights you can see.

      Thursday

      Still searching for something to snap me out of my funk, I go to an event dubbed “Happiness Club”.

      Sounds like it should do the job, right?

      It’s a series of group exercises intended to foster deeper connection and emotional openness. Love this shit.

      We talk about times we’ve struggled and challenges we’ve had etc.

      For me, the most fulfilling part is pinning blank notes on each others backs. We then go around and write nice things we think about each other, anonymously, on said notes.


      Something I’ve struggled with in the past is putting in the effort to give friends quality time. I’m sure this is due to a variety of factors, but a big one is I’ve spent the vast majority of my adult life (9 years since age 14) in relationships.

      This can lead to is giving your focus to one person and neglecting giving time to others. Even if that’s only checking in with them for lunch or with a phone call every week or so.

      This has been a problem in my past that’s bothered me. I’ve made it a large priority whilst globe trotting to really give time to people, to help them, to connect with them. To just be there to support them if needed.

      So circling back to the “Happiness Club”, I feel the notes that I received reflected this, which is awesome.


      “You are kind and open and accepting of everyone. “

      “So compassionate, incredibly thoughtful and generous with your heart and your time. “

      #feelserbeam #feelsplosion ? 😍 😍 😍

      I give zero fucks what other people think of me — i.e. I’m not going to bend who I am to appease others. But, when I get feedback that I’m coming across as the version of me that I want to be, it’s a pretty awesome feeling.

      So, that fixed my funk right?

      Nope.

      Still don’t want to be around people.

      Interesting…

      So I go chill at home and work from there.

      Friday

      Wake up feeling good!

      Get to work.

      Feel shit 😩

      Right, fuck this.

      When it turns out that what seems like social exhaustion is actually, my monthly depressive “man period”, there’s often an easy fix. I write out every problem that may be bothering me.

      I then write out the potential solutions to all those problems.

      I also write out what I was doing one year ago, two years ago, three years ago.

      Guess what?

      Turns out life’s fucking great, and that almost all these potential problems, aren’t problems.

      The only one that is; that I’d only briefly left Lisbon once in my time there, is simple to solve ! Get out of Lisbon to find some adventure!

      Like magic, almost all my grump dissipates. Isn’t the brain a stupid, wondrous thing.

      I work like a productive little unicorn for the rest of the day 🦄

      Saturday

      My source of adventure?

      Pino and I grab a Panda to road trip down the picturesque Portuguese coast to Lagos in the Algarve region. Her take on our adventure is here.

      Immediately I’m back. My brain is on fire and I feel like myself again.

      Energy and ambition fill my body.

      All at once I’m terrible car company as my nerd brain fills my head with obscure rabbit holes of thought.

      Amusingly, Pino, who refers to the work music I listen to as “death metal”, has a phone full of all the same artists.

      Avenged, FFDP, Three Day’s Grace, Stone Sour etc.

      I find that time and time again, chilling with someone, swapping through the genres and artists you enjoy, is an awesome way to bond 🙃

      We off-road to a secluded beach that look as if it formed before life slithered from the seas.

      We snake and twist through lush forests full of twisted, gnarled trunks.

      We climb down a rocky trail to a beach flanked by mighty black cliffs, cut through with branched granite lightning.

      Nerd brain pleased.

      We pull up to a quaint little town and go hunting for food.

      I grab some delicious charcoal grilled squid.

      Pino, being a bloody yank, confuses ounces and grams.

      Orders a kilo of prawns.

      😑

      Oh no….. now I need to eat double portions…. again.. 🙄

      Mel, Arrestia and Annelise are also taking a road trip today. We head down to another majestic beach to wait for them for a while.

      I lie down for a second…

      *Some unknown period of time passes*

      As I grumble to life, pulling my face from the puddle of drool that’s appeared, I gaze up at Pino standing next to me.

      “Urghh, how long have we been here?”

      “Just over an hour!”

      Faaaaak….

      FYI, an hour+ is not a good time to lie topless in the Portuguese summer sun, not moving at all.

      As I roll over my back feels like someone’s poured hot oil on me.

      I realize I’m now stuck with the most defined, burned back / white arse separation line, anyone’s ever experienced…

      Lovely.

      Anyway, apparently whilst I’ve been sleeping on my face, the other girls have driven by and are now on their way to Lagos.

      I guess we should do the same!

      We continue our journey south. Stop off at a couple more arresting beaches. Then arrive at our hotel outside Lagos.

      I guess we should do the same!

      We continue our journey south, stop off at a couple more arresting beaches, before arriving at our hotel outside Lagos.

      After a day in the car, I figure I should do some work for a bit. Pino heads to the bar to grab some food.

      The whole of 15 minutes passes before:

      “They have truffle risotto at this restaurant! Should I order you some?!”

      ffs…

      This chick knows how to get my attention….

      So I head down, smash that (it’s amazing!), and start on a little white wine.

      We grab another one or two at the bar. Chat to a local expat family and note down the names of 6–7 fun places to check out in Lagos.

      We go to each of them.

      We drink in each of them.

      We get, really, realllly, krunk.

      We grab a taxi home.

      Oh, except there are no taxis in the entirety of Lagos. So we walk.

      And we keep walking, and walking.

      And now we have no idea where we are or where our hotel is.

      So, Pino, being a bloody yank, has the CIA on speed dial. She calls up someone clearly important, in an inebriated huff.

      15 minutes later a car turns up, grabs us and gets us home.

      Sunday

      Ready to continue adventuring!

      We head down to the pool to chill in the sun.

      I start to melt.

      It was 100% this bad, especially the bit at the end…

      Perhaps we should grab breakfast and play that “hair of the dog” game?

      I realize they have full English breakfasts and can’t resist!

      Mmmm,

      perfect hangover food,

      aaaaaaaaannnndd

      DEAD.

      Yep, I’ll not be doing anything for a few hours.

      I head up to the room and pass out.

      I wake up in time for Pino and the Panda to turn up. We head out to some tiny little village in the hills of Portugal to “Pizza Pazza”. It apparently serves the best Pizza in Portugal.

      I’m not convinced this statement is broad enough.

      We stop in a silent town, with sweeping views across an uninhabited valley and enjoy perhaps the tastiest pizzas of my life.

      The scenery, the food, the company. All come together into something truly magical.

      @specifically.random

      After this we head over to Sagres to watch the sunset.

      We walk out along the top of a towering red cliff, overlooking sheltered bay beaches.

      The crimson rocks and strange, tall, spindled flora transport me to an alien world. Darwin IV if anyone is curious about which world in particular…. 🤓

      We walk further out towards the edge of this massive cliff before getting as comfy as one can on a sofa of boulders. We settle down to watch the sunset.

      The surface of the sea below dances like a silk sheet against the banded indigo and red sky.

      At the same time this is erupting into my nerd brain, I forward it on to Pino.

      I think she’s enjoying my odd commentary.

      Perhaps she’s being polite….

      In any case, I’m enjoying my company 😆

      Left from @mdoesthings, middle from Wayne Barlowe, right from @specifically.random

      Lovellllyyy

      We’re mesmerized by the sunset before driving over to Sagres town. We’re going to grab wine and meet the other girls for a bit before heading back to the hotel.

      This doesn’t happen.

      Almost as soon as we walk through the door, Annelise uses her hawk eyes to spot the wine. This is swiftly opened and distributed.

      We drink, we chat, we decide we should go out to bars. Yaaaay….. this is exactly how I’d planned my Sunday evening….

      Whilst this is happening, I notice that not only is Annelise smart and very cute, she’s also funny and loves adventure.

      Ticking all them boxes.

      Fuck.

      Anyway, we head out, we drink cocktails and pale ale, we chat, we laugh. Arrestia gets a little drunk and chases some unknowing guy around. Pino and I drive home.

      All, good, fun.

      Monday

      To wrap up our adventure trip, we head over to the most beautiful hidden beach. Pino had found this whilst I was dying in bed the day before…

      We park up and hike for 20 minutes through a lush valley. Ducking through thick Mediterranean trees, and crossing a stream before the valley opens to a magical, hidden beach.

      We scale the cliffs to the left of the beach. Climb up to an ancient ruin for a vantage over the expansive coastline.

      Spotting a hidden alcove past the beach, we dash down the cliffs. We wade through crashing waves and arrive at alone at our own little spot.

      Alone with a naked elderly Portuguese couple, that is..

      So, when in Rome!

      @specifically.random

      We arrive back in Lisbon in time for Game of Thrones. After which I chill with Amelia and Dina, watching some movie with Will Farrell and Kevin Hart.

      Game of Thrones was insane!

      Kevin and Will were not.

      Tuesday

      After so much adventure, today is a work day!

      Finish up the Instagram Internet money classes.

      Train Michelle some more.

      Grab a coaching client.

      Crush it in the gym.

      Solid day.

      In the evening our group is running an event called “The Moth”. You get up on stage and tell a story people don’t know about you — simple.

      I often vomit every story from my past at anyone at all I meet. So as Pino wasn’t at this event, I decide my easiest options is to tell a story I’ve had no chance to share yet; my nerd brain this weekend.


      I get a little excited, and maybe a little drunk…

      Wednesday

      Easy day! Get some work done. Do a coaching call. Grab Lunch with Laura.

      Laura’s already running a baller social media agency, and is awesome at strategy and management.

      Two things I despise.

      She’s interested in partnering up.

      I get to experiment and come up with cutting edge marketing strategies. Build a personal brand. Create fun content.

      Laura onboards clients. Creates a next level social strategy with them. Trains Virtual Assistants to scale those marketing systems to blow up their businesses.

      Everyone gets to do what they’re good at and enjoy!

      Still in crazy work mode after my adventure weekend.

      Pause work for long enough to ask Annelise out for drinks the next night.

      She says yes 😏

      Thursday

      Another day in paradise, working.

      That evening I head to the Farewell Junction — a final party we throw in each city we visit.

      It’s at some dope art exhibit and everyone’s here! It’s awesome to have these events to wrap up a city. Lots of our group are often busy or away exploring throughout the month, so to get everyone together can be quite rare!

      It’s so worth it though. Really makes an event special.

      I was late… so not even in this picture…

      Everyone heads to 4 Caravelas. I start on the pints of Margarita. There are less wise things one could drink, I assume…

      I chill there for a bit and then grab Annelise and a bottle (or two) of green wine for a wonderful (my words) riverside date.

      Some may argue that drinking two bottles of wine on top of a full night is too much..

      I would argue it can lead to half a night of hilarity.

      The other half?

      I have no idea, drank too much wine.

      Friday

      The final day! I’m pretty dead but hang with Annelise for a bit, before I grab an ambitious amount of MacDonalds.

      Unsurprisingly, this puts me right to sleep…

      Strong final day.

      I wake up to keep track of general work tasks and then a load of friends come over and we chill in my lounge.

      Hang out with Annelise after. Awesome way to wrap up my time in Lisbon before 20+ hours of flights to Dubai and Hanoi the next morning!


      What did I learn from this month?

      Firstly, that I drank A LOT! Holy hell. The drinking is less of a problem than the half to whole day of dead I get after doing so.

      As I mentioned at the start, I’m writing this up from Thailand, 1–2 months after the fact. Just seeing this frequency of drinking has made me drastically cut my intake for the last two weeks.

      Drinking can be a useful tool for open conversation, approaching people you like the look of, and general silliness. It can also be self destructive. Eating into time that you need to spend working, if you’re to continue traveling the world and having fun.

      So yeah, action point 1: Be less dumb with alcohol.

      The second big thing I realized was I’d much prefer to fancy someone than just have one off hook ups.

      Even considering:

      1. I’m travelling the world for at least the next 7–8 months and have zero intention of getting in a relationship.
      2. It pretty miserable to like someone and then have one of you leave.

      I think the enjoyment of having silly fun adventures with someone you fancy, is easily worth something that “isn’t going anywhere”.

      If it wasn’t so enjoyable, it wouldn’t suck so much when it stops.

      So my thoughts are: Just have fun, enjoy it, live in the moment. When the moment passes, be a fucking grown up, you can’t have everything you want all the time. Dealing with negative emotions is healthy practice.

      So action point 2: Live in the moment — have fun with people you like whilst you can.

      Final big point — I learned that I need to schedule in adventure or it will drive me nuts. Adventuring is something that really sets my brain alight, and if I ignore that impulse for long enough I will just feel trapped and miserable.

      So making an effort to get my adventure out of the way earlier in my month should give my mental energy a big boost!

      Action point 3: You love adventure — so schedule it in early.

      This post was long AF, if you made it to the end, you’re amazing!

      Let me know what you thought! What have been your biggest struggles whilst traveling?

      For your effort:

      Yo, I’m Connor!

      I’m a smart person. I don’t do smart things.

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